Mad World - Chapter 3 - Shark Boy Summer
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Barbie Wire sat on the couch staring at the blank TV. It had been a few days since the incident at LooLoo Land. Striker had given her the days off to collect herself. She had seen Stella a couple of times, but had otherwise spent her days disassociating in the long moments she was alone. She did what she could to keep busy, but nothing lasted and she slipped from reality to a distant past.
Barbie Wire startled when she heard the door open. She shook her head and chased away the memories before she glanced back. Fizzarolli appeared and plopped down beside her.
“Hey, Fizzy. How was work?” Barbie Wire asked.
“Oh, you know. Everyone wants to touch, but no one wants to pay,” Fizzarolli remarked.
“Don’t remind me,” Sallie May said.
Barbie Wire glanced over at Sallie May to see a black eye and several cuts on her. Barbie Wire frowned and turned to Fizzarolli.
“What happened?” Barbie Wire demanded.
“Oh, well, uh, it’s no big deal. Just, uh, some people tried to, y’know,” Fizzarolli stumbled.
“Who?” Barbie Wire roared.
“Relax, Barb. I took care of them. No point letting their kind go on breathing,” Sallie May commented.
“Then why’d you let one of them live?” Fizzarolli asked.
“Because you leave just one alive. Dead men can’t share their stories. And I want those bastards to remember me.”
“Will you accompany him for his next few shifts? Just to be safe?” Barbie Wire asked.
“I planned on it,” Sallie May said.
Barbie Wire sighed in relief.
“So, now that’s all swept under the rug, how are you, Barb?” Fizzarolli asked.
“Huh? Oh. I’m here. I guess,” Barbie Wire said.
“Oh, well, uh, I heard of something fun we can do. And it’s free.”
“Some of my coworkers were gossiping about this party a pop star is throwing in Envy. All are welcome. It could be a nice distraction. We could go dancing, take in the views, things like that.”
“Really? You won’t let me have a damn deer in the apartment, but you want Barb to come with you to a night club with alcohol and possibly drugs?” Sallie May interrupted.
“Look, she does really good at the clubs down in Lust. Granted there isn’t always drugs, but there’s always alcohol. I just thought maybe it could be fun to, well, have fun. We still have some of that money the vagrant gave us. So, why not use some of it to head to Envy and just let loose a little?” Fizzarolli explained.
“It’s on you, Barb. What do you want?” Sallie May asked.
Barbie Wire considered. “I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad to head out and party… a little.”
Fizzarolli’s face lit up. “Really?”
“Really. Let’s all get changed. Sal, you need help with your wounds?” Barbie Wire asked.
“Nah, I’m good. Let’s get ready.”
Barbie Wire, Fizzarolli, and Sallie May arrived at the VIP lounge that party was hosted at. They stood at the entrance as they stared out at the crowd that danced, drank, and were having a good time. Sallie May slipped into the crowd towards the bar. Barbie Wire hesitated until Fizzarolli wrapped his tail around her arm. Barbie Wire yelped as she was dragged into the crowd with Fizzarolli.
Fizzarolli let go of her arm and started to dance. Barbie Wire moved back and forth when Fizzarolli bumped her. She bumped him back as he returned the gesture. She smiled and laughed as she cut loose and danced beside him. They twirled, shimmied, and bounced around when someone grabbed her hand. She sucked in a breath as she was pulled close to someone. Her eyes widened when she saw a shark demon ex-lover of hers, Chaz McThurman.
“What a lovely sight seeing you here, Barb,” Chaz cooed.
“What are you doing here?” Barbie Wire demanded.
“Aww, do you not know? I’m the popstar hosting this party.”
“How are you the popstar hosting a party like this? Last time I saw you, you were too busy scamming and playing people for fools.”
“I know, but I’ve grown. Matured. And recently came out with a hit single! But mostly the maturing.”
“Hit single? You! What’s it about? Your dicks?”
“Hey, sex sells. And look what its gotten me. You could take some notes.”
“Keep your shit. I have more than I need.”
“Right. And how’s the cripple these days?”
Barbie Wire snarled and pushed Chaz away. She slipped out of the crowd to a balcony overlooking the beachfront. She buried her face in her hands when she felt a tail tap her shoulder. She looked over as Fizzarolli sat on the railing.
“You ok?” Fizzarolli asked.
“Chaz is here. He’s the popstar throwing this party,” Barbie Wire said.
“I… might have fucked him at one point or another.”
“He wasn’t-! He wasn’t a popstar at the time. Just some tramp using his good looks and charisma to get what he wanted.”
“Oh. Well, do you want to leave?”
Barbie Wire and Fizzarolli turned to see Sallie May join them.
“You don’t like it here either?” Fizzarolli asked.
“It’d be fine if I could have a beer in peace, but no. Some fancy-haired, dick-swinging shark demon tries to make several passes at me. It wasn’t until I threatened his precious dicks that he backed off.”
“Oh. Well, uh, I suppose we could go somewhere else?” Fizzarolli said.
“How about Wrath? Y’all can meet the family and we can hit an ol’-fashioned tavern,” Sallie May suggested.
“I would prefer not. Wrath kinda makes me nervous. No offense, but you all are a bunch of backwater brutes.”
“I mean, you ain’t wrong, but where else can we go? Ain’t no way we’re going back down to Lust tonight.”
“What about Gluttony? Beelzebub usually throws hound parties that imps can go to.”
“Doesn’t that also have a lot of alcohol and drugs?”
“Well, what do you think, Barb? Think you’d be ok with it?”
“I mean, I hear the Queen has other things, so it’s not just drugs and alcohol. And it’s on the way up back to Pride. We can see if there’s a party,” Barbie Wire said.
“Fine. Let’s get out of here before that shark boy shows up.”
Barbie Wire, Sallie May, and Fizzarolli left the balcony and navigated the crowd towards the exit. Barbie Wire noticed the music rose to a deafening level and the strobing of the lights intensified. She turned back to check on Sallie May and Fizzarolli, but she had lost them. She turned back to look for them when she was bumped around by the dancers. She cried out as she was pushed off the dance floor into a room.
Barbie Wire looked to see a lavish set up of fancy seats, a table of luxury treats and drinks, and low light. She turned to leave when the door shut behind her and Chaz stood between her and the exit.
“Like what I’ve done with the place?” Chaz asked.
“Let me out. Now,” Barbie Wire demanded.
“C’mon, Barb. Don’t you remember all the fun we used to have. You were one of my favorites after all.”
“I was strung out on drugs and alcohol. Most which you supplied me with just to get your rocks off.”
“I’m hurt, Barb. I brought those to you because I know you needed them. To help with that burden you carry. All I ever did was want to help you. Is that so wrong?”
“Yes. I needed help, not drugs.”
“And how much has that help really helped? Has it gotten rid of the guilt? Has it gotten rid of the memories? The drugs did. Especially you favorite.”
Barbie Wire’s eyes widened as Chaz dangled a small bag of H8 in front of her. She tensed up as she stared at it.
“I can see you’re tired, Barb. So, why not get an escape?” Chaz asked.
“N-no. I… I can’t. I-!” Barbie Wire started.
Chaz placed the bag in Barbie Wire’s hands and stood behind her.
“It’s ok, Barb. You can let yourself feel other things. I know you want to.”
“What… what do you even know?”
“More than you’d ever let anyone else know. The guilt, the remorse, the regrets. All of it. You once shared all that with me because I understood, and I helped. That’s all I’m doing now.”
Barbie Wire hesitated as the memories flooded back. Her many nights strung out in endless stupors. Either in sluggish hazes, or high adrenaline rages. All to forget her pain. To feel anything else, just like Chaz said. But she nearly died from all the drugs and alcohol. She nearly left Fizzarolli alone.
Barbie Wire couldn’t leave Fizzarolli, but there was the nagging voice deep within her. She longed for a release from the pain, even now. The therapy and rehab had helped clean her up, set her as straight as it could, but it couldn’t erase the memories. It couldn’t erase how she felt. Maybe, maybe just for one night, she could find reprise. Maybe she could feel something else.
Barbie Wire opened the bag when Fizzarolli came into her view and bit her hand. Barbie Wire yelled out as she was jostled back to her senses. Barbie Wire looked up as Sallie May took the bag and threw it in Chaz’s face. Barbie Wire flinched seeing Chaz’s pupils dilate and his face twisted in rage. Sallie May picked him up and threw him into the crowd, then shut and locked the door.
Barbie Wire listened to the sounds of Chaz starting fights while Sallie May and Fizzarolli sat her down. She could hear them, but their words didn’t fully register. A chill ran up her spine at what she almost did. Voices she repressed came to the forefront and mocked her. They called her weak, pathetic, and a coward. She caved when she should have been strong. She wanted a break when she needed to fight. But amidst the voices, something darker lurked.
Barbie Wire froze as the world faded away. She felt the cold embrace of her darkest thoughts as they whispered into her ear. They told her that nothing had changed. She fought and fought, but she was running in circles. All the year of therapy and rehab meant nothing, and she was in the same place she had always been. And they were right.
Tears sprung from Barbie Wire’s eyes. Five years she had been out of rehab and lived clean. But in those five years, she fought against everything, including her past. The very thing that had destroyed her and she wanted to leave behind, hadn’t left her. Instead she told herself she fought for others in her life when she’s been distracting herself as she ran away. Just as she did with the drugs and alcohol.
Barbie Wire spiraled further as she questioned what she could do anymore. Chaz was right. She was tired and needed a break, but what break was there? She wanted to let go, but how could she? She ruined so many lives and continued to every day of her life. She had too much to leave behind, but too heavy a weight to carry, even with help. What could she do anymore?
Barbie Wire was snapped from her thoughts when her phone rang. It was Stella’s screech she had recorded. She took out her phone to see a text from Stella, demanding her immediately.
“Uh, Barb? Why is a Goetia texting you? And why do they want to see you?” Fizzarolli asked.
Barbie Wire didn’t answer Fizzarolli. She texted Stella and told her she’d be coming up from Envy, but would be there as soon as she could. She stood and walked out as Fizzarolli called out for her. She didn’t look back as she left the club and headed for the elevator. Time blurred as she arrived at Stolas’ palace.
Barbie Wire entered from the front and navigated the halls towards Stella’s bedroom. She stopped when she saw Octavia step out from a nearby room. She tried to dart into a different room when Octavia saw her.
“You’re… the woman that helped me. What are you doing here? Did Dad summon you?” Octavia asked.
Barbie Wire considered her words. She could lie and spare Octavia’s feelings, but what did it matter? She ruins everything, so why prolong it?”
“Your bitch of a mother summoned me, kid,” Barbie Wire said.
“Why would she do that?” Octavia asked.
“To do what your father won’t.”
Babrie Wire pushed past Octavia and continued to Stella’s chambers. She didn’t knock as she barged into the room. Stella held a lamp at the ready, but stopped when she didn’t see Stolas. Stella looked down at Barbie Wire, then threw the lamp away.
“About time. What were you even doing in Envy?” Stella demanded.
Barbie Wire kicked the door shut before she swooped Stella off her feet. Stella’s eyes widened as Barbie Wire carried Stella to the bed. Barbie Wire jumped onto the bed before she threw Stella down. Stella started to sit up when Barbie Wire held her down. Stella’s breath caught and heart raced with excitement.
“You don’t care and I don’t want to talk about it,” Barbie Wire hissed.
Stella blinked and composed herself. “Then don’t keep me waiting a moment longer, imp.”
Barbie Wire returned to a dark apartment. She shuffled towards the couch when a light flicked on. She shielded her eyes and turned towards the source to see Fizzarolli’s tail slither down from the chain. She rounded the corner and saw him on the couch.
“Please, sit,” Fizzarolli said.
Barbie Wire didn’t protest and plopped down beside Fizzarolli.
“I just… I was worried. You were separated from us. Sal saw you pushed into a room and before I knew it, there was blood and carnage as she tore through everyone to get to you. And… and I saw you with… the drug.”
Tears sprung from Barbie Wire’s eyes. “I don’t know what to do anymore, Fizz. Chaz was right. I’m so tired.”
“You got this, Barb. You’ve been so strong and, and-.”
“Don’t you get it? I’m tired of being strong. I’m tired of fighting every waking moment of my life. Nothing has changed. Rehab may have cleaned me up, but the therapy couldn’t fix my problems. It couldn’t chase away the guilt and regret.”
“Barb, that was an accident. It’s ok.”
“No, it’s not! I ruined your life! You had promise and potential and I stole that away! I killed my mother and twin brother. My father abandoned us. Our home was destroyed. I almost killed myself and left you alone without anyone. And now all I can do to survive is ruining more lives. It doesn’t matter how monstruous or innocent they were, their blood is on my hands along with those from that day. And now I’m helping ruin a family by sleeping with the wife of a cheating husband.”
Fizzarolli sighed. “Barb, I don’t know what else to say that I haven’t already. And, risking sounding like a broken record, I don’t blame you. I was upset at first, but you’ve done everything you could in the aftermath. Is this life perfect? Well, it might be without the vagrant, but I’m happy with this life.”
“How? How could you be happy with this life? We struggle to live. We can barely pay the bills, rent, or even food. We could have more if it weren’t for what I did!”
“Maybe, maybe not. Sure, I could be a star, but what about you? What about Sal? What about the little moments we’ve had? Could we had more? Maybe, but for what we have, I’m happy.”
Barbie Wire didn’t answer.
“Besides, I don’t think you can talk about money problems with a sugar momma.”
Barbie Wire blushed. “It’s-.”
“Ah! You don’t get to say it’s not like that. She calls you away to her side for whatever reason. You mentioned something about ruining a family sleeping with the wife of a cheating man. It’s not hard to put two and two together.”
“Are you… disappointed in me?”
“Why? It’s not like I haven’t engaged in some form of prostitution.”
“You didn’t really think all I did was dance, did you?”
“I just… I thought… when do you do this?”
“Mostly when Sal or Striker takes me. Mostly Striker. It’s quite fun to see the looks on his face.”
“Why don’t you trust me with this?”
“Let’s see. There’s your guilt and the fact you infantilize me.”
“Yes, you do. I’m a grown man, Barb. I know I act silly and like a child sometimes, but that doesn’t make me one. I’m also not that kid you pulled out of the fire.”
“Because I want you to see how much you’re inflicting wounds on yourself. I can’t help how you feel about Blitzo and your mom, or everything else, but stop using me as a reason for your guilt. My life isn’t ruined. I’m alive and living. Most of all, I’m happy with where I am.”
Barbie Wire didn’t answer and looked away.
Fizzarolli opened his mouth when Sallie May touched his shoulder.
“Go on and get some rest, sugar. I got it from here,” Sallie May said.
Fizzarolli sighed and gave Barbie Wire one last look before he headed to his room. Sallie May’s smile faded as she sat beside Barbie Wire.
“He really put you through the wringer, didn’t he?” Sallie May remarked.
“He doesn’t understand,” Barbie Wire muttered.
“Or you’re refusing to understand.”
Barbie Wire opened her mouth but shut it. “How does this change anything?”
“It could change by stop living in the past. There ain’t no time to be living there. Not when there’s so much going on here and now.”
“How could I even begin to let go?”
“Start with Fizz. You heard him. He’s moved on. He’s living his life, Barb. All he wants is the same for you.”
Barbie Wire didn’t respond.
“Look, just start small. Watch him. See how he interacts with the world. Learn how you can forgive yourself from him.”
Barbie Wire remained silent.
Sallie May sighed and pulled Barbie Wire into a hug. “Whatever happens, we’re here for you, Barb. And I ain’t gonna let anything happen to either of you. Like it or not, y’all are family now.”
Tears fell from Barbie Wire as she hugged Sallie May back. She buried her face into Sallie May’s shoulder and sobbed silently.
Barbie Wire wasn’t sure how she could forgive herself, but she knew one thing was for certain. She didn’t want to live like this forever.
