define "bad"

That’s it.

That’s the entire thought.

You come out of your surgery. You ask the doctor where your boyfriend, Travis Konecny, is. “Who do you think gave you the innie?” Your doctor says. You are forever going to be grateful for Travis’ belly button.

“Hey babe, are you wearing a thong? I’m wearing my cheeta leopard zebra one ;)”

You look back at him to see him hiking it up above his pants like Shania Twain in the early 2000’s.

He’s sloshed.

“i gonna be gone all weekend for a road trip. just call me when you miss me ok?” you tell auston matthews. “ok,” he says back. your phone doesn’t ring all the weekend.

“i would so kill you right now if i could,” says elias pettersson. “what?” you said. “huh?” “what did you just say?” you ask. “uh, i meant, i would so kiss you right now if i could,” he says.

quinn hughes being your teacher. “mr. hughes,” you say, “i don’t understand.” “yeah me neither,” says quinn.

you are on a date with connor mcdavid. he shoots a puck at you and you pass out.

when matthew tkachuk sees you laying on the ground asking someone to call 911 but he remembers you are an oilers fan 

you come home late from hanging out with your friends that are boys. matthew tkachuk says, “where have you been, y/n?” “out,” you say. matthew then slams you up against the wall knocking you out. he says, “now you’re really out.”

you see the toronto maple leafs tour bus and you run toward it but they run over you and you die. and when they bury you they dance on your grave.

mat barzal tries to hold in his laughter when he sees you trip and break your neck.

you are a chicken and jonathan toews is holding you.