tired of preaching

i wish mosquitos didn't make you itchy and give you horribly infectious diseases. i wouldn't begrudge them a humble nibble were it not so

You know skinny jeans are gonna go out of style eventually but we’re gonna keep wearing them. They’re gonna become mum jeans. Parent style. People are gonna be like “oh my god dad your jeans are so tight it’s so embarrassing please put something else on” and you’re gonna be like “oh yes because those flappy impractical things are so much better” and you will feel superior but really you will be Uncool. You will be Uncool and you won’t see it, just like your parents. This is your fate. 

Bro, we are cooked. The knight that dogs the prince's shadow like a dark and silent wraith just knelt to press his forehead to the prince's hand. Yeah, now he's uttering a prayer whose recipient is ostensibly God but in reality is the deified version of the prince that exists only in his mind. Aaand the prince just caressed his cheek to preemptively grant him absolution. I gotta... I gotta get out of here.

daughter (non-practicing)

sister (deadbeat)

I need a polite and effective way to say "hey your heart is truly in the right place and your anger is often righteous but I think sometimes you’re getting recreationally mad about things that are frankly not worth the amount of energy you’re spending on them, and every time you do this you're driving yourself slightly more insane with nothing to show for it," and then I need a way to broadcast that message through a loudspeaker to roughly 30,000 people at once, and THEN I need a time machine to send that message to my past self lol. and maybe a second time machine in case past me tries to be clever and sabotage the version of me who comes through the first time machine