Incorrect Richalvarez Quotes

Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. I mean, yes, I died, but people love to embellish.

Are you trying to say I’ve made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?

Daisy: What did you do?

Daisy: Do you have any pets?

I solve practical problems. For instance, how do I stop some big mean mother-hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind? The answer? Use a gun. And if that don’t work… use more gun.

Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me.

Merlin: There’s a special ability our people share, forbidden even amongst our most sacred clans.

Snake: Hey, a keypad! ...I don't know the code. I'll try some random numbers.

Wario: This is Squall, and he is in charge of... something... right?

Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.

Did I want to come back? No, but I don’t have enough money to retire and I’m too old to get another job. I feel like I’m working in my casket.

I have been trying to get on jury duty every single year since I was 18-years old. To get to sit in an air conditioned room, downtown, judging people while my lunch was paid for? That is the life!

Decious: Merlin, I'm sorry.

Pauline: You should style your hair. I think a nice undercut will give that "don't fuck with me" vibe, you know?

It’s easiest for me to keep everyone’s expectations low. That way, it always counts when I put in some effort.

Daisy: What happened to your nose, Wario?

Luigi: Stressed.