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metaflesh-deactivated20180415

i wonder what this 200 year old salamander thinks about

Nutrients

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or a drowning

tonyhawksunderground2-blog

why u lookin up almond joys in the background

woodmeat

I had beef wit somone

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“go hang a salami” backwards is “im a lasagna hog" and that pleases me

fairywodger

how did either of these sentences occur naturally for you to discover this

captainkirk94-deactivated201903

Yesterday i lost my glasses. And decided to document my frustration until……… I really wish this was planned, but i gotta admit, I took a big L.

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“[defeated tone] So… I have…. lost my glasses. And I’m afraid to leave my bed because I can’t see… and I fear I might step on my glasses. So I’m sitting here with my bee pillow pet… and I don’t know what to do.

I need to get up. I wanna get food. I gotta exfoliate and moisturize, cause my skin looking atrocious right now.

What if… [deep breath] What if I die here, y’all? Would anyone even miss me?Like, really?

I want Enrique Iglesias to come save me. Like, the ceiling opens up and like, he comes down from like, a heavenly cloud with my glasses, and he’s singing. [imitating Enrique Iglesias] ‘Would you dance? If I asked you to dance? I will be your hero baby!’ And I just take my glasses and I’m like ‘Thanks yo! Put a shirt on homie!’

But life, life don’t work… life… [prolonged silence]

[camera zooms in on glasses]

[long silence; light chuckle] Enrique…”

leupagus

This should win an Oscar

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badfoodnetworkpuns

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me after every dream: honestly? what kind of symbolism.

rcah

this got too real

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me after taking 4 flintstones gummies

ricamora

mias-back-from-the-dead

#great now i gotta kinkshame award winning journalist anderson cooper

saint-hemlock

I’M SCREAMING

swatdude

Yassssssss

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taahko

hey just wondering but what the fuck is this

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@maribakumon

itsjaxterbitch-bye-blog-deactiv

how dare you post this without even linking us. am i having a stroke

bighonkinqueeniesbadbadbackstory

I feel like I’m stuck in a malfunctioning time machine

asian

me fighting my inner materialistic self

minichunk

anox4-deactivated20170119

emergency

rotking

when u make really scary and worrying posts but dont wanna talk abt it so cover it up with jokes

perfectalexander

when you are having a huge breakdown but 20 minutes later youve forgotten about it

euo

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

officialwhitegirls

paraplyaralia

a sunny day

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