Take What You Can Carry

you ever hear a new song and immediately go “oooh the fake scenarios in my head are gonna love this”

Leopard Seals are what happens when god needs a lizard and all he has is a mammal

I'd recommend turning the sound on. The seal is not screaming. It's not very loud at all, actually, but the noise it's making is Much Worse.

its a dinosaur

i hate it when people ask me to "explain my thought process" like hell if i know

"what's going on in that head of yours?" nothing i want to be a part of

The word you are looking for is “selfish.” Not narcissist, not sociopath, selfish.

nooooo please give me back my evil guy with issues

i can be trusted with him. please. You have to believe me

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

someone needs to invent reverse cornflakes. i want to eat a cereal that gives me a demonic erection and inflicts upon me an insatiable lust

what doesn't kill you makes you stay on tumblr for 13 years and counting

yeah okay ill reblog that