far more sweetsounding than a lyre

Exploding in the kiln on purpose for attention

“we’re being queerbaited again” stop acting like a pond catfish that can be baited with a piece of hot dog. some of us used to be blue marlin on the open ocean. it took them 12 years to reel us in.

Smell of lilacs wafting on spring breeze incident 10 smiled 7 filled with joy

the cinematic migraine experience of spending the entire day like “why do i feel so bad so Suddenly what the fuck Triggered This what did i DO” and then hearing an ominous clap of thunder. and being like. ah. barometric pressure

sitting here getting increasingly grumpy all day like “ok but what is with the body-wide Unease why are the joints & muscles misbehaving why is my head made of elastic bands what have i DONE” & then got a notification for a severe thunderstorm warning. barometric pressure you motherfucker

no one slaughter me right now ok I'm so flooded with stress hormones the meat would taste terrible

love downloading a pdf to never read. just in case. like lol. you’re coming home with me

The cure to anxiety is completing all the tasks you have to finish for the day early and doing them phenomenally and being physically perfect and on everyone’s good side preferably even their favorite.

I plan on watching a movie at some point in the future

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.

"im tired of living through major historical events" is now "dear lord please let me witness a high profile political assassination in the next 1-2 years. amen"

So theres this dread