Hawkeye's Perch

Coming soon: omg-hawkeye buttons for sale!

First off: I have never had a website before or sold anything online, so things might be a bit shaky till I get everything figured out. That being said, please go check out the five hawkeye button designs that will soon be available on my website:

http://www.omg-hawkeyemerch.com/

Oh, Anon.  When I asked for questions, I didn’t think THIS would be the very first one I would receive.  Okay, let me get my outrage taken care of first.  *clears throat*How dare you come into my house, and disparage my favorite archer, and Avenger, of ALL TIME, on this, the day of my cat’s quinceanera!?There, now that that’s done, I can explain to you why you’re so very, very wrong about Clint Fucking Barton.  (Sidenote: My headcanon says he doesn’t like his middle name that much, so we changed it to Fucking so he wouldn’t have to get his towels re-monogrammed.)ANYWAY.  

The reasons I like love Hawkeye are as follows, and in no particular order.He’s incredibly smart, having been the first to figure out that the Tesseract was a door, and doors do, in fact, open from both sides.

He’s the only person that legitimately posed a threat to Loki when the God of Chaos first came striding into our world.  In fact, he was one of the only people still standing after Loki brought the pain.

He’s snarky as all get out, and he does it well.

He’s a master strategist, and a hell of a fighter.  Two things that, when combined, make him a very dangerous guy.

Despite the shitshow that is his life (especially in the comic-verse), the dude still has compassion.  Fraction’s run really highlighted that.  Yes, he still fucks up, and yes he still makes some spectacularly bad life choices, but the compassion is there.  He saves a dog, fer Christ’s sake.  And buys an entire apartment building just so as to keep people from being tossed out on the street.  Underneath all the nonsense, Clint Fucking Barton is a good man.

He’s fearless.  Or at least he appears to be.  Especially when diving off rooftops and crashing through windows.

Plus, he cowboys around with Gods, and tech geniuses, yet still manages to hold his own.

I could go on, Anon, and would if my own personal Hawkeye wasn’t about to walk in from work, so I’ll wrap this up by saying that if I were in a bad spot, there is no other person I’d rather have in my corner than Clint Fucking Barton.

Simply, I’m sick of all the crap 4Chan is putting the Tumblr commmunity through right now, and I think everyone else is as well.

They add rape, gore and porn images to the most common tags, because they think triggering people and causing them to inflict harm upon themselves is entertaining. That’s right guys, hilarious.

They’re planning to hack accounts on top of that.

Thankfully, many of these issues can be remedied if we can work together.

1. CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD.

This should speak for itself. With the account hacking and everything, make sure you change your password quickly for obvious reasons. You should tell your followers also that if porn, gore or whatever else starts getting posted, it isn’t your doing.

2. THE NEXT 4CHAN RAID IS SET TO BE THE 20TH OF JULY.

On this day, the 4chan members have planned to unleash their tsunami of shock images onto the trending tags. Thankfully, this can be solved if we work together. Make sure you clear those tags of 4chan’s doing by posting the stuff that you SHOULD expect to find there.

3. STAY AWAY FROM TAG SEARCHING.

Be cautious. You don’t know what to expect, and if any of it triggers you, it won’t be pretty.

4. IF YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF SUICIDAL ATTEMPTS, THOUGHTS ETC, STAY AWAY FROM THE SITE.

This is simply for your own personal safety. Even if you follow step 3, there’s a chance a blog you follow will be hacked and you will see shock and trigger images pasted all over your dashboard. No one on Tumblr wants to see that happen, and they especially don’t want you getting hurt.

5. TURN OFF ANON ASKS AND ALL FORMS OF SUBMISSIONS.

Shock images, viruses and whatever the hell else have been reported to have been sent through asks and submissions. If you see something suspicious, ignore, block and report immediately, don’t respond to it in any way. Turn off anon asks and submissions to make sure it doesn’t wind up in your inbox.

6. DO NOT PROVOKE 4CHAN USERS IN ANY WAY.

THIS WILL ONLY MAKE THE 4CHAN VS TUMBLR WAR EVEN WORSE.

7. DON’T POST ANY SELFIES WHATSOEVER.

You wanna know what 4Chan are doing with them? They are editing them onto pornography, even if the person in the selfie is underage. THIS IS ILLEGAL, IF YOU SEE IT, REPORT IT TO THE AUTHORITIES IMMEDIATELY.

8. BE WARY OF ANY LINKS.

4Chan is also planning to replace the links to suicide hotlines with links to images of committing suicide, which is the opposite of what a hotline masterpost is supposed to do. Some links have also been edited to send out a virus. Stay away from links altogether if you want to be totally safe.

9. SIGNAL BOOST THIS. A LOT.

I’m currently jobless, and it’s at the point where I don’t have much money left to feed myself (I skip meals often because of this.) I really appreciate all those who have donated a couple coffees to me ($5), as it definitely is helpful, but it’s still not enough to keep me going.

I am a web designer (not professional or anything; I didn’t go to school for it, but i’ve been doing it since I was 13ish and I know quite a bit for being self taught, I’d say) and I would love to make a little extra off of making themes for people.

These themes will be FREE but if you are able to donate $5, $10 even for my troubles/time, it would make all the difference. I don’t get out much (mainly due to my social anxiety, but also because everything costs money, is too far away to walk, and asking someone to waste gas on me is out of the question) so I have a lot of time on my hands right now.

From this point on I am going to be making themes for anyone who wants one. I can’t commit to making you anything too complicated, but we’ll discuss further what you would like —if you have an idea, otherwise I’ll just wing it— and then I’ll see what I can do.

For now I’m only taking 6 orders at a time but if this goes well, I may increase that. If the list is full then I ask you to wait until it has emptied some before contacting me about making you a theme.

Examples of my work (It kills me to put up only works-in-progress but I’ll get some finished examples soon. I’ve been pretty down as of late and haven’t had much drive to do much for myself in terms of pretty themes, but it’ll really perk me up to make something for someone again. :D)

My main blog (WIP)

My movie/show blog (WIP)

Aesthetics blog (WIP)

Order list

@hazelharkness0110

— Contact me to get your free theme.

— Contact me to get your free theme.

— Contact me to get your free theme.

— Contact me to get your free theme.

Immortals getting clingy and needy because you have so little time we need to make the most of it.

And their lovers being like chill I’ve still got like fifty years and we’ve already spent decades together we’ve been like all around the world by now but really, all I need is you.

And just, no, you don’t understand that’s not nearly enough for all the things I want to show you please why are you slowing down, I know but you’re tired a lot lately, wait no.

Don’t.

Here, Have Cupid Hawkeye.