taavi

I prefer he/him pronouns.

This is a sideblog! My main blog is @youplush :3

On this sideblog I'll be focusing on my daily adventures!! Expect rambles, reblogs, and some photos! :3

I've been trying on and off for like years :/

My main problem is that I get upset easily, and since I have BPD... my first instinct is to attempt suicide.

So when I'm driving that means crashing into the closest object (tree, building, other car, etc) at full speed.

I also struggle with other things that make learning to drive difficult, but I think this is the worst problem.

I've tried therapy before and most therapists have just gave up on the first or second appointment because my thinking is "too extreme". The only therapist who didn't give up was a DBT therapist who made me significantly worse :/

I also don't have money to try therapy again.

I'm kinda desperate for advice!!!!!!!!!

Female (lighter belly) and male (darker belly) American barn swallows who kept staring at me this morning.

But I didn't buy it. Quite frankly, I don't have space for it. It's pretty big... But this thing stayed in my mind all month. I kept thinking about it, even dreaming about it!

I went back to the thrift store at the end of June.. and it's still there!!! ↓

I think it's a sign. I should buy it!!!!!!!!

But once again, I didn't.

Even if I had space for it... I wouldn't be able to carry it out of the store, fit it in the car, and then carry it up the stairs at my home. It's made of real wood, so it's pretty heavy....

I just think it's really cool. But now I feel bad for it, since it's been sitting in the store for a month!!! I don't want the workers to throw it away... :(

I changed my username...

Suddenly, I experienced severe sharp pain in my lower abdomen, hip, and upper leg before completely losing control of my leg.

I couldn't move it at all. It was like jello.

I fell to the ground and curled up in a ball bc the pain was so severe.

After like 5 seconds, the pain slowly faded away into something more manageable and then I was able to control my leg again.

It was scary and I genuinely don't know what exactly happened or why..

Also, people are supposed to start building a house in this field next to my house!!! How evil is that!!! >:(