NerdWriterGirl

This is beautifully hilarious. 👆🏾 Gay Culture

A Gordon Ramsey-esque disability advocate travelling around the world to roast ableist assholes

“What do you mean you run a blog about your child without their permission? I wouldn’t trust you running a bath, let alone a fucking social media platform”

“Hey, panini head, are you listening to me? I said DON’T TELL THEM TO TRY YOGA” 

“Oh, you think they should have a positive attitude? You deserve a kick in the nuts” 

“You loiter in accessible parking spaces to see if people are “faking” or not? You’ve just confirmed in my mind that you’re not trustworthy. So fuck you” 

“You took a disabled person to prom ten years ago and won’t shut up about it whenever you meet another disabled person? YOU’RE A FUCKING DISGRACE” 

“My gran could be a better person! And she’s dead!” 

why not both?

I’m going to answer this from the perspective of healthy relationships specifically.

New relationship: every feeling is heightened. Whatever it is, it’s to the Nth degree. If you’re mad at this person, it’s the end of the world. You might not recover. If you’re falling in love, this person is god’s gift to the universe. They are the wind beneath your wings. You are floating on a cloud at all times. Your feels are constantly brimming at the surface.

Old relationship: you are comfortable, and not in a bad way. If you’re mad at your partner, you can talk it out. You know it’s not the end of the world, because you two have weathered the storm many times before. And sure, this person is god’s gift to the universe, but it’s more of a peaceful feeling now. You’re just so thankful for them. It’s not OMG I can’t believe he’s mine! It’s I’m so glad he’s mine. Their presence is a steady, wonderful calm.

New relationship: the sexy stuff is a lot more frequent. This person is the hottest creature you’ve ever met. You want to impress them. You want to be just as hot to them as they are to you.

Old relationship: the sexy stuff is a lot less frequent, but ten times better. You now know each other’s bodies perfectly. You know exactly what they want and how they want it. Multiple orgasms are a go. You are much less self conscious being naked with them, which makes things more enjoyable. A weird noise can happen, and you’ll both laugh about it, crack a few jokes, then continue. Years ago, that moment might’ve been mortifying for you.

New relationship: heart eyes all the time. They are your hero, your heroine, your lover. You want to show them off to your friends. 

Old relationship: smiles all the time. They are your best friend, the one person you can always depend on. You want to show them off to your friends.