neRD eating

I did something recently that was a long time coming. I gave a Grand Rounds presentation at the hospital that I currently work at. I was scared out of my mind and anxious for months about it. But It is also the thing that I am most proud of doing thus far in my dietetic career. 

It all started when I first started working as an RD (Registered Dietitian), which wasn’t that long ago. I lucked into working at an eating disorder program, among other things, at my first job. And It was like a whole knew world was opened up to me that I had learned NOTHING about in my schooling. 

Right away I was like, “what the fuck?!” Because we were teaching the patients with the eating disorders the exact opposite of what we were teaching the patients in the hospital with other diseases or issues. 

I was teaching the eating disorder patients to not worry about their weight or shape. And I was teaching the person in the hospital, with cancer, to loose weight for their health. 

That’s when I learned about Intuitive Eating and Health at Every Size ®. And this is part of what I learned and what I presented to some of the Doctors and staff at my hospital: 

- Any kind of dieting, aka restricting, for weight loss, does not help people to loose weight, it promotes weight gain in the long term. 

- Part of the reason for this is that calories in vs. calories out does not work because our resting metabolic rate (RMR) lowers when we restrict. Meaning you could be eating only 1500 kcals per day but if your RMR is low due to restricting than the amount of calories used by the body could be much lowered to say about 600 kcals per day.

- Restricting also leads to nutrient deficiencies.

- Restricting also affects our mental health and often leads to depression, anxiety, mood swings, sleep issues, difficulty concentrating, and all the other things that our brain does for us. 

- Restricting can and often does lead to eating disorders and increased disordered eating behaviors. 

- We don’t need to try to loose weight because obesity is not the health problem it has been made out to be. 

- A persons BMI does not lead to adverse health effects or increase their risk for adverse health effects. 

- low socioeconomic status increase risk for adverse health effects

- Weight cycling (weight going up and down from multiple weight loss attempts) increase risk for adverse health effects. 

- Weight stigma (meaning the internalization that a certain weight or body shape is better and negative attitudes towards higher weights that leads to discrimination and bullying and low self esteem and shame about someone’s body) increase adverse health effects. 

- pursuing a healthy relationship with food, exercise, and our bodies DOES PROMOTE POSITIVE HEALTH OUTCOMES, not loosing weight. 

We put too much of an emphasize of weight in our health care, and the pursuit of weight loss is harming us not helping us! 

For more info on this read these articles: 

HI

It’s been a long time.... long fucking time. 

I have been immersed in my work. Carving out a way for myself in this new carrier path. Absorbing as much knowledge as I can from the professionals around me. I have been neglecting all other areas of my life, I have no idea what’s going on with most of my friends, my home is a mess (like always), my body is a mess, I haven’t even seen the sun in months ( I hate sunlight anyways), I’ve had bronchitis for 5 weeks now (possibly even a fractured rib from coughing so much). I’m not condoning any of this, in fact I am finally starting to balance out my life more. But I have been working. Learning. 

I’ve been to a few good places to eat and will share them soon. But first, let’s talk about postpartum depression. 

I feel inspired to talk about my own experience with postpartum depression because of a recent podcast I heard. 

One of the attending physicians that I work directly with, is a bad ass, and one of the smartest most insightful people I have ever met. She shared her own story with postpartum depression and I want everyone to take a listen.

Take a listen now:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/postpartum-depression-with-dr-pereau/id1335892956?i=1000409689419&mt=2

I am not shy talking about mental health, in fact I will talk about it with anyone anytime. 

I wanted to share the details of my postpartum depression, because I feel like it may be the most stigmatized mental health disorder. 

Mothers have such unrealistic expectations on them in our culture. Here are some facts: 

1 in 7 postpartum women will develop postpartum depression (PPD) or some form of it. 

Men, foster and adoptive parents can develop PPD.

PPD can happen during pregnancy.

People can develop PPD but also, especially if left untreated, can develop postpartum psychosis, and also postpartum OCD.

Postpartum psychosis can be life threatening for the parent and the child.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death in postpartum women

For Help or more info: 

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/postpartum-depression-facts/index.shtml

I have always had depression, as far back as I can remember, and never really knew or got help for it until I was an adult. But after I had my daughter, I felt something different than I had felt before. 

I didn’t feel that intense instant bonding that people describe. I kept waiting for my exhaustion to go away so I could finally feel “happy” about being a mom. (spoiler, the exhaustion doesn’t really go away). I felt overwhelmed most all of the time. I cried most all of the time. I was terrified when my partner would leave me and dreaded being alone with the baby. I was tired all of the time, and kept thinking, if I just get more rest and have more of a break, I will feel better. 

But also a new kind of depression symptom arouse that I had never really felt before, and didn’t realize it was part of PPD. 

I felt like I was loosing my mind. 

My thoughts would race and I didn’t have any control over where they went. I was afraid constantly that something would happen to me or my baby. The fear was irrational but felt totally reasonable at the time. I would turn a corner in my home and my heart would palpitate thinking that there would be an intruder or murderer hiding for me just around the corner. I wouldn’t open the blinds for fear someone might see me and climb up the balcony and break in. I started to not put my baby in her own crib in her room and only had her sleep with me because I was afraid there was evil spirits in her room.  Now I do NOT believe in ghosts or the supernatural like that, so this thought freaked me out and I recognized it was a distortion but I still gave into it anyways. Then the really scary thoughts would race into my head. I would think: what if I just let my baby drown in the bath, what if I just threw her out the window, what if I just took a bunch of pills and never woke up, I would look down at my wrists and think of how easily it would be to cut right through them. These thoughts would come into my head and right away I would feel terrified for even thinking of them, shameful, and I hated myself for them. I never wanted to act on them, but they would come into my head constantly. Worst of all I was scared to ever tell anyone because what if they took her away, what if they locked me up, surely everyone would think I was a horrible person let alone a horrible mother. I begged my partner to come home from work every single night, telling him I couldn’t go on like this. The feelings of being overwhelmed were beyond overwhelming, I felt hopeless and insane. 

I finally went to talk to a therapist, he explained to me that what I was experiencing was postpartum depression, AND THAT I WAS NOT ALONE in this feeling. 

Talk therapy really helped me, the thoughts of evil spirits or intruders or hurting myself or my child went away. But the overwhelmed feeling never really went away. I was starting to bond with my baby, but slowly. 

Fast forward to a couple years later when I was in my internship, working beyond my means, giving everything I had and then some. My stress levels increased to the point that one day, during my internship, I was at a conference for an organization educating public health professionals about postpartum depression, about how even within the health care community it is overlooked, about the women who let it progress to postpartum psychosis and the deadly outcomes, and heard other individual stories of PPD. It triggered me, I broke down, I cried right there in front of the person giving the presentation, she pulled me aside, calmed me down with breathing techniques. I told her I used to have PPD, she said, “It looks like you still do.” 

I spent the rest of that week in bed crying all day, curled up in the fetal position, only having the energy to make a phone call and set up an appointment with a psychiatrist. I knew I needed more help. 

I started taking medications for depression, and eventually, I had enough energy and motivation throughout the day to be productive. Getting out of bed doesn’t feel like climbing Mount Everest. Parenting is still the most difficult thing I have ever done. But I have joy in it. 

Now here are my nutrition recommendations for all of you postpartum parents: 

Do what you can, don’t beat yourself up for what you can’t. 

Now is not the time to focus on weight loss

Now is the time to focus on nourishing yourself both literally and figuratively

So that you can nourish your little one

It is more than okay, it is necessary, to have help from friends/family/professionals

You’re not alone and you don’t have to do it alone

Now is not the time to restrict food

Make sure that you are eating when you are hungry and that you eat until you are satisfied

Make sure you are having all of the macronutrients - Protein, carbohydrates, lipids (fats), especially if you have just had a baby/breastfeeding. Your body has a lot of repair to do and a lot of nutrients to give to your little one, so you need to eat much more, it is easy to become malnourished if you are not honoring your hunger. 

And being malnourished means that your brain is malnourished which means that your likely hood increases significantly of feeling depression, anxiety, sleep troubles, mood swings, fatigue, irritability, poor concentration, poor memory, difficulty calming down in times of stress, and difficulty with all the other things that our brain does for us.

Take time out for just you and you alone, doing things that relax and replenish the body and mind - otherwise there is no way you will have anything to give to your child or your relationships

This place doesn’t really need any more publicity. From the celebrity chefs of today: Ludo Lefebvre, Vinny Dotolo, and Jon Shook, Petit Trois is one of their collaboration restaurants in LA 

and unlike their brother restaurant Trois Mec, you don’t need a ticket to get in. 

You drive up to this little old strip mall (be careful not to park in the “French Only” parking space) and walk into a little hole in the wall, except it is anything but. It’s a hallway of a restaurant/bar with bar seats lining a wall and the kitchen on either side. There are no reservations. You go on a hope and a prayer that they have some room for you (hint: if you go at around 3 there is usually plenty of available seats). 

The concept is simple. Seemingly simple is the concept. 

There is a small simple menu and a short simple cocktail list and of course a large wine list. 

I’ve only been to this joint twice but it’s already a favorite. Butter. Bread. Cheese. Mustard. Omelettes. Alcohol. Need I say more? 

My heart belongs to the Omelette, this with some bread and butter is all I need in my life. It’s just simply perfect. 

We had this chicken special once, it was one of Chef Ludo’s “family” recipes. It was tender, the flavors were deep, the skin was crispy, it was comfort on a plate. Unfortunately we ate is so fast that there was no time to take a good picture of it. Sorry, not sorry. 

What makes this place so wonderful is its ability to be comforting, intimate, fun, and absolutely delicious all at once. But wait... the chocolate mousse... 

What: Petit Trois

Where: Los Angeles, CA

Address: 718 N Highland Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90038

Ambiance: Small bar where you get the feeling “everyone knows your name” 

Vegetarian: there’s always something vegetarian friendly, but vegans... uhh... no. If you don’t love butter with the fierceness of a thousand fiery suns than you are not welcome here! No! (I mean there might be something vegan friendly but is it worth it? Eh, you can always stick to the cocktails while your friends feast). 

How far would I travel to eat here: I’de drive the hour and half just to go eat there right now!

That’s right I said it! I said it! There is no such thing as bad food. Does this statement seem controversial? Does this statement sound wrong? Do you think I have no clue what I’m talking about already? 

WE LIVE IN A DISORDERED EATING SOCIETY. 

I see it all around me and even I have fallen victim to it, even I have to battle my own self-defeating mind. 

We do not have a healthy relationship with food and we do not have a healthy relationship with our bodies. We are constantly battling ourselves to be an imaginary ideal. We buy into the marketing that we can achieve some higher level of health if we just eat this food and cut out that one because it’s “bad”, if we drink this shake, this tea, no potatoes, no gluten, no sugar, this berry from the middle of a forgotten land that holds the fountain of youth. We fight our bodies to transform into different shapes and we really honestly think that we are worth less if we don’t look a certain way or eat a certain way! 

I have been working as a Registered Dietitian for only a short time now but already the biggest trend, the root problem, with most of my patients is this: 

Balance

We are trying our best to fix imperfections in our society but we are horrible at balance. 

Health is not about perfection, it is about balance. 

There is no food that in and of itself will bring you disease and death (I mean of course no food that is properly handled. Of course there are foods that aren’t cooked or handled properly that will give you food poisoning that can be very life threatening, so I am referring to foods that are properly handled, of course). Yes, even those chicken nuggets from Mcdonalds will not bring you ill health, or make you fat, or lead to your overall demise. Rather it is the imbalance of it that will. You can have that donut and you will be just fine, maybe even better for it. Let me explain. 

As an example, I came across an article on a well known website called Goop. This is the one that Gweneth Paltrow, the great beauty, owns so you know it must be good right? Maybe even if we do the things that she does we will be just as beautiful and healthy. Weelllllllll, I found the article to be so utterly misleading. It is titled :

The article goes on to interview this Steven Gundry who states that tomatoes (among other vegetables that we normally eat) are actually bad for us because they cause disease. He explains that plants protect themselves by making poisons to discourage animals from eating them. True. And that some plants have protein called lectin that is harmful to us. True. He sights an incident in which a group of medical doctors had a kidney bean salad at a conference and they all got very sick, vomiting and diarrhea, True. He states it was the lectins in the beans that made them sick. True. But he only presents part of the picture, only part of the truths. He neglects to mention that they got sick from the kidney beans because they were not properly handled. Eating raw or undercooked beans is one of the causes of food borne illness, that’s why we advise people to thoroughly cook their beans and never eat them raw, that’s why there are no dishes, in countries where beans are a staple food, that contain raw beans. He neglected to point out that if we cook beans the lectin in them is denatured and rendered inactive, passing through our guts without causing harm. 

Gundry does not share the whole picture, that while it is true plants contain substances that are harmful to us in large amounts, they also contain substances that are essential to us and bring immense health benefits. He neglects to mention the BALANCE of these plant foods. He states that “I’ve become convinced that plant lectins and the havoc they promote are the root causes of almost all diseases.” Not true! How narrow-minded and harmful this sentence is. If you scroll down to the bottom of the article it lists Gundry’s credentials as: 

Sounds important, But when you look into “the international heart and lung institute” you find that it is actually an uncredited private practice that he owns. Also even further down the page of the article in very small writing it states: 

Well played Goop, well played. So after many people read this article and become convinced that they should cut out grains, beans, tomatoes, peppers, goji berries, eggplant, and all types of squash (because they are all recommended by Gundry to “steer clear of” because they all contain lectins and are therefore “deadly”) basically Goop covers their tracks by essentially stating these statements are unsubstantiated and are only intended to “create a conversation” and not be followed as medical advise. Now those people have cut out yet even more food that provides essential nutrients in a cheap and accessible, sustainable way. 

Because the truth is, the whole picture is, that these plants are tremendously beneficial, that no food is PERFECTLY healthy even if it is “clean”,and that if we only ate these foods, there might be some gut issues that we experience, but if we balance these foods with others than we will have a well rounded intake of vital nutrients that are essential for our bodies including but not limited to: fiber (for our intestinal flora health and blood glucose control), a plethora of vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, phytochemical, protein, and carbohydrates (that provide much needed energy to our cells especially the brain, nervous system, and red blood cells). Phew! And that if eaten in balance, the lectin in these foods is negligible and the benefits far outweigh the cons. 

Health is about balance! 

The stress we create around food and having to only and always eat the “perfect food” will cause more damage to our bodies than the “bad” foods that we desperately try to avoid. Because that pesky cortisol you are pumping through your body due to the stress and unhealthy relationship that you have created around food is more damaging to your cells than even that evil donut. 

I’ll leave you with this statement that we read to our patients with eating disorders or disordered eating behaviors: 

“What is normal eating?

Normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food that you like and eat it and truly get enough of it, not just stop eating because you think you should, Normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food. Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad, or bored, or just because it feels good. Normal eating is three meals a day, or four, or five. or it can be choosing to munch along the way. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful. Normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be under eating at times and wishing you had more. Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your “mistakes” in eating. Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only ONE important area of your life. In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food, and your feelings.” - by Ellyn Satter.

I advise you to search for balance instead of the fountain of youth. 

I’ll also leave you with this wonderful ted talk about body acceptance:

https://youtu.be/LSMH3WABkwg

When it’s hot out, what do you want? Tacos. When it’s cold out, what do you want? Tacos. When the temperature is perfect out, what do you want? Tacos. Basically tacos are for everything at any time anywhere. So here are my favorite tacos in town. 

What: Huicho’s Tacos 

Where: Redlands, CA

Address: 416 W Colton Ave, Redlands, CA 92374

Ambiance: typical small taco joint, great for a date if your date loves tacos and likes getting food and sauce all over their fingers/clothes/stuck in teeth all for the sweet pleasure of tacos.

How far would I travel for this?: probably about 30 miles, it is in my home town so I don’t have to but if I was in the mood for great tacos and was somewhere within a 30 mile radius this is where I would go. 

Vegetarian: They have great crunchy potato tacos and a few other things on the menu but mostly this place is great for their meat taco options. 

About the food:

Well living in southern California all of my life, I am no taco novice. And I am very particular about my taco places. This one is a fav because it packs flavor in every bite. It is a taco simply the way it should be: a soft corn tortilla, well cooked meat, cilantro, onion, and a home made hot sauce to bring it all together. 

They also have great crunchy tacos should you be in the mood. 

This is what you do. Go in, don’t order the typical chicken, shredded beef, carne asada tacos, they are fine and dandy but the true joy comes from the less popular cuts.  Get a plate of the el pastor, cabeza, chicharron, and chorizo tacos. top it all of with the house, red and green sauce all mixed up. Take a bit and experience the Bruce Lee kung fu dance happening on your taste buds. It just all fits together. 

They also have some great pozole and burrito options.

The taco is my spirit animal. 

And this place is definitely a gem in my home town, if you’re ever passing through this place is a must.

I always knew that this would be my first post if ever I were to create a food blog. Because:

First of all, just to give you an idea of who I am, how shall I put this... I’m a coffee snob, but it’s more than that. I yearn for coffee. The smell comforts me. Most people love the smell of coffee but what I’m talking about is a deep comfort. It’s like the nostalgia of going to your childhood town, smelling the orange blossoms in the hot night air, remembering all the good and bad of everything you experienced as a kid and realizing you wouldn’t trade any of it for the world (well maybe that time that you fell into a tumbleweed in front of your middle school crush... and maybe a haircut or two). Quite literally the smell of coffee envelopes me in nostalgia. My first exposure to coffee was at 9 years old when my brother made me coffee from his new stove top espresso. I felt so mature drinking coffee with him and talking about music and Lord of the Rings. I took that first sip and I never turned back. 

So when a friend of mine said that he was trying his hand at making his own coffee and started by roasting a small batch of coffee beans in a popcorn maker, I was all in. 

I’ve seen the evolution of this coffee into an experience like non other. It is called The Tulip House but has also been found to be called Anybody Coffee. 

Now the bad news is that they do not currently have a brick and mortar. And my heart is broken over this, believe me. They are currently in a cocoon of evolution. But you can surely trust that I will keep you posted along the way!

In the meantime you need to

Follow their instagram @thetuliphouse 

DM them to order your own bag of whole beans

Don’t worry, they don’t roast their beans out of a popcorn maker any more. They have a wonderful roaster that produces magic.

The wizard behind the coffee is both a chemist by trade and an artist at heart and he uses these strengths of his to make the coffee of your dreams. Behind every good wizard is a wonderful sorceress who makes the best espresso concoctions. 

Each bag of coffee is unique. The wizard rigorously tests each new type of bean to bring out the best qualities they have inside. Therefore each bag will taste different. It will be a unique experience, each one as delightful as the previous.

The above photo is from a moment in time when I picked up some of this coffee before going to my internship one early morning and it gave me life! This stuff is the real deal. 

Would I travel more than 30 miles just to get this coffee? I would travel across the world to get this coffee.

Clearly my heart is where this coffee is. Go follow @thetuliphouse and @anybody.coffee where the smallest things bring the most pleasure.