any choice is right as long as it's willed... 💉🩸

you’re laughing. they r preparing him into mochi and your laughing.

stop stop the cruelty!!!

HEY . HEY I HAVENT SEEN “HES GOING TO FUCKING TELL MY MOM” TODAY. WHERE IS IT ……

call me a salmon the way i want to be in a bears mouth

I like the idea of grey aliens having crazy frantic sex without any erogenous zones or sex organs. Like just jumping up and down on each others heads and pulling each other around by the feet

You open the door to an alien boudoir and the only thing happening back there is a little grey alien in a corset and high heels slapping and poking the eyes of another grey who is sitting on the edge of a bed

This is what the vertical video format was invented for

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

one of the best things about uma musume is how all of the horses are kinda weird or dumb in an endearing way. like even the most determined and serious horse will eventually be found somewhere on campus staring at the vending machine looking confused and when you talk to her she'll say "where do these drinks come from? there's no clear sign of entry... could it be divine providence?" or have a training event where she says something like "how do hot dogs survive in the wild with no limbs or eyes? the urge to survive must be strong... i want to get stronger too, like the hot dog." (strength went up!)

everyone needs to grow the fuck up and start playing pretend with toys

this is another one of those posts that gets tags like “i know this is a joke but…” and i understand why but i have to once again stress i have never been more serious