âWhenever there was an event at school, heâd come straight from work. Wearing these heavy blue coveralls. Stomping around in these big, chunky boots. Heâd have a tag with his name on it: Herbie, written big like. He was always so noticeable. Thatâs the main thing I remember: the other parents seemed smaller. Maybe not smaller, but sleeker: tight button-tops, khakis. I was one of two Hispanic kids in my grade. Iâd only gotten in through a program that sends black and brown kids to private school. But I never felt discriminated against. We all loved the same video games and YouTube videos. Within a few weeks I was going to friendsâ houses for sleepovers. These houses were humongous. Everyone had their own rooms. Then Iâd go back to our house, in the Hispanic neighborhood. And it was just a square with a triangle roof. And we had like ten people living there. It was different. Behind closed doors, I knew we were different. And that juxtaposition was a little too much to overcome in my head. I felt like if I wanted to fully step into this new role, I needed to shed all that. Iâm on the other side of it now. I graduated from a private university. Iâm working at a tech start-up. I feel like this was it. When my parents came over, this was their intention. Iâve fully assimilated. But now that Iâm here, I kinda miss what Iâve left behind. Iâve lost it. Itâs not that I chose another culture. My life just got filled with other stuff, and I let it go by the wayside. I donât even really speak Spanish anymore. Maybe in very small bursts, or whatever. But I miss the curse words, the slang. I miss it being commonplace. Mainly I just miss being around people like me: feature wise, and stuff like that. At least now that Iâm in New York, I can take the train home every other weekend. Itâs like a celebration, every time I come back. We donât all live together anymore; but the whole familyâs nearby. Everyone comes over. My dad grills out: steak, tortillas, vegetables. Eating home cooked food, itâs like Iâm a kid again. Itâs healing in a way. It feels right. Knowing Iâm in a good spot. Iâve gotten to where I want to be, but Iâm back with the people that Iâve always been with.â
