previously @rexiewnnab

im warning you it's really disgusting

But the BEST PART was that he was saying he could pick all of us up, and I ofc said "not me" (not in a pick-me way, I just was joking) BUT HE LITERALLY SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET?? And then we were playing chicken and I sat on his shoulders, he said I was light and I asked how much he thought I weighed and he said 98 POUNDS!!!! MY GW!!! I weigh at least 112 pounds, so I couldn't believe it! And our two other friends both looked so good and so skinny in their bikinis but I felt so happy that I didn't even feel self conscious that much!

do you guys prefer the cold or hot seasons for losing weight? personally, winter always makes me gain, but everyone is different!

so i wont compare myself as much to others

so i will be able to always fit cute, small clothes

so i wont worry about my stomach

so people will like me more

so if a boy ever likes me ill be small and dainty for him

so people will be amazed at how small i am

so people wont even believe i can weigh so little

looking cute and thin in pretty dresses!!

summer/warm weather!!

so i can learn to love myself

so i can feel happy

so i will look effortlessly good because of how small i will be

so i can be guys' crushes

so people will admire me

so people will talk to me more

so people will worry about me

so i can be small and fragile

so people might be jealous

revenge on the guy who played w me (bonus!)

and also..

so i can workout without hating it

so i can be less hungry

so i will have more self-control

so i will be more active

so i will look good in photos and videos

to watch bright red drops bead and flow,

to carve out imperfections,

to see inside my skin.

to be the art,

and the artist who creates it.

to be broken and raw and exposed.

this is what i want.

to be something people don't dare to look at,

but cannot look away from.

to be the whisper from a stranger.

to be a casualty of my own existence,

-mukbangers

-supersize vs superskinny

-my 600 lb life

-erik the electric calorie challenges!!

-americas next top model

-documentaries

-to the bone!!

-girl, interrupted!

leave any suggestions, theyre very appreciated! <3

4-5 days later: dad found out i s/h, i cried in front of the whole class, my therapist is angry with me for lying, i'm hiding in my room, skipped school, behind in classes, phone taken (on my old laptop), probably scared my crush away, ppl are talking about me at school