a little bit of evil, as a treat

The “Thunk” will always kill me.

14/10 doing his best

The lil guy just kinda… stopped working properly for a moment there…

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

met a woman today whose original real actual given-at-birth first name is "Vendetta." ma'am are you aware you are a videogame protagonist and/or a character in a skullduggery pleasant novel. real quick sorry to bother you miss but who exactly were your parents expecting you to avenge in their name

the worst part is I can't dare ask her that last question because then she might say something like "You don't remember, do you?" and pull out a katana and obviously I'm not stupid enough to take that risk

The thing you have to remember when you’re arguing with me is that I’m almost always eating delicious meals. So not only are you arguing with a beautiful woman, she’s eating scrumptious food while you aren’t. Bad position.

two meads in and i'm asking my knight if i can feel how sharp his blade is 🤦‍♂️ i'm giggling and kicking my feet too. should i ask him to press it against my neck or is that too forward

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

My boss is making me work even though theres discord channels to read like morning paper?

i will come kill him with my demon blade

Sometimes I worry you like the demon blade more than you like me

well maybe i'm the slur cw america

good morning everyone it's time to be tortured to insanity and then of course tortured for being insane