Pairing: Jackson (GOT7) x gender neutral OCÂ
Iâm lying in the middle of the floor in my darkened room, looking up at the blackness of the ceiling.
Sighing, I struggle to my feet to turn on the light. The cold of the wooden floor seeps through my socks to my feet. If I canât sleep why the hell should I even bother trying.
I had been lying on my bed not able to sleep but I tried again to sleep on the floor thinking it would make a difference. It only made me cold.
I reach the wall and flick the light switch. My room is suddenly  illuminated. Half-drunk cups of coffee, dirty clothes and mouldy plates of food lie scattered around the room.
I have barely done anything these past few weeks, much less clean my flat. Itâs been extremely rough living alone without the comfort of a friend, my best friend. I missed his words of comfort and jokes so much but I refused to be the first to relent. He was wrong.
I didnât see him all the time. In fact, it was rarely because of his schedule and in case his fans thought we were dating. We Skyped almost every day and any time we were free, we hung out for as long as possible. It really fucked with me not having him around, due to this I had shut everyone else out. I couldnât cope with their constant questions.
I picked my way across the room and picked up my phone. The screen lit up hurting my eyes. I blink away and stare at the screen. Filled with notifications of friends trying to reach me. I simply clear the screen, a few more days alone and then Iâll get back to them. I set my phone back down on the table and go back out to my kitchen. Itâs a mess like my room.
I fill the kettle with water and start to boil it. I suddenly hear the ringtone set for Jackson coming from my room. Oh great heâs going to come grovelling back to me now. I sigh and return for the phone, reluctantly. Just as I reach for it, the call rings off and the screen goes black again. I flick on the screen and see Jackson had called. Iâm about to throw the phone down on the bed but a text pops up on the screen. Itâs Mark.
> Hey ____, I know you donât want to talk to us right now especially me but weâre all missing you really badly please reply to someone even if itâs not us
I stare at the message, he was the one the argument started about in the first place and he hasnât spoken to me in nearly two weeks. I scoff at the message and lock my phone stuffing it into the pocket of my old hoodie. This hoodie used to be Jacksonâs actually, but itâs the only one I had to hand. The kettle clicks in the kitchen. I go out and make myself my usual late night coffee.
This time I feel fancy and decide to drink it in the lounge. I throw myself down on my cheap sofa, I look around the room and everything reminds me of Jackson. How he helped me carry the sofa up the small stairway because the lift was broken, how he bought me a lamp for my birthday and had attached a note saying âYouâre the light of my lifeâ, how he threw iced tea at me once and stained the armchair, all because I said he wasnât my favourite idol and how when I had the flu heâd send members round when they didnât have a schedule to keep me company until he could come by himself.
My phone pings again in my pocket and I pull it out. The screen nearly blinds me in the dimly lit lounge and a message glares back at me. This time itâs the man himself.
> Look Iâm so fucking sorry but please let me know youâre okay. We all need to know youâre okayâŚ
I immediately flick the message off the screen not even caring to read the rest of it. Iâm not about to give him what he wants, regardless of how much I really miss him. I had always been extremely stubborn and this was not exception to that rule. He had seen me do this plenty of times before so he should know Iâm okay, granted Iâd usually tell someone that I was okay and I was just taking a break.
Finally, boredom gets the better of me and I start to flick through my photo albums on my phone and go through each photo, one by one. Photos of Jackson and I, hit me with emotion like a slap in the face; I feel bad now. Memories flood back again with each photo that goes past. That time heâd had a few days off schedule and had taken me camping, it had been so beautiful and peaceful. Weâd talked about everything and I felt so happy. Thinking about that now made my eyes begin to blur with tears. I think back to how he would bring me to practice with the group sometimes and Iâd get to play with the members. Thatâs how it started.
Jackson had called me two weeks ago, and asked if I wanted to come and watch them practice for their comeback. Of course I had gladly agreed. Anytime I could spend with the boys especially when I had time off work was going to be great. I headed down to the studio to meet them there. Jackson and Bambam were already there. We passed the time until the rest of the guys turned up, with them trying to teach me choreography. That ended with me landing on the floor in a heap. It had been good fun regardless. Once the other guys turned up we had to stop so they could get down to practicing. I sat at the back of the room watching them. If they made a mistake I was allowed to get up and hit them on the head with a towel. Â My train of thought is broken by another text. It was Jaebum this time.
> Please text one of us back. We canât make this comeback without our biggest fan by our side. Please just let us know youâre looking after yourself, we miss you so much.
Did he really think I was going to give in that easily? He was so naĂŻve. I turn my phone on vibrate mode again and I think back to that day two weeks ago. I had gone to the takeout nearby and brought back food for lunch. We all sat around the food in a circle, Bambam and Mark had been on either side of me. We had been in the process of finishing off the food when someone else had walked in. I had my back to the door so I had no idea who it was, I assumed just a manager or trainee in the wrong room, until they wrapped their thin pale arms around Markâs neck. It was his girlfriend, Hyejin. She hated me and probably still does.
All because I had walked into the coffee shop close to where I live at the wrong time. I had run into her on a date with another guy, when she and Mark had first gotten together. I didnât think she had seen me and she never mentioned it to me afterwards. I hadnât told Mark outright in case I had misunderstood the situation. I told Jackson instead who dismissed my worries and said it was probably just her brother. They definitely werenât siblings the way they had been acting and⌠kissing. I hadnât said anything to Mark and he continued to date her blissfully unaware.
A few weeks after that I had seen her again with a different guy, and that time she had definitely seen me. We made eye contact across the busy cafĂŠ, her man seemed happily ignorant to the war being fought around him. I hadnât said anything and simply left once I had my coffee. She had begun to hate me ever since, assuming I was telling Mark everything I saw. Though I said nothing. She seemed bent on convincing the boys that I was trying to take Mark from her and that I was going to ruin Jacksonâs life by simply being his friend. Despite my attempts to convince her that I only loved the boys as friends. She simply insisted that I was a bad influence. The boys had one by one drawn away from me. Leaving me with just Jackson and Bambam as close friends, the others just didnât trust me anymore. Though  they were still friends with me when she wasnât around but as soon as she appeared they were withdrawn with me.
That day she had pulled Mark away from my side and sat in between us. I was cold with her when she spoke to me but not unpleasant, Jackson gave me a look as if asking me why I had such a vacant tone with her and not with the rest of them. Eventually he got so curious as to why I was acting so strangely that he asked me to go help him take the empty food cartons out of the room to the bin just outside as a way to get us out of the room.
âWhy the hell are you being so horrible to her?â he asks me as soon as  the door closed behind us.
âYou know why. I donât trust that bitch and I never willâ I said coldly. Even now remembering the tone I had taken with him makes me cringe.
âShe hasnât done anything to you or any of us so what the hell is your problem?â he asked. He angrily threw the empty packets into the trash.
âSheâs cheating on poor Mark! I know you donât believe me but she is and sheâs pulled most it the group away from me except you and Bambam. Thatâs why I have a problem with her.â I snapped back, throwing the cartons I was holding into the trash with the same force and anger.
âYou know what? Why donât you go in there and ask her if sheâs been cheating on Mark? Huh? Maybe we can sort out your problem that wayâ he said, his tone was venomous.
âWhat a good idea Jackson Iâm going to go do that right now.â I marched right back to the practice room with Jackson on my heels. I burst through the doors, absolutely full of rage and I was ready to let her know how I felt. Jackson had clearly not expected me to react like this, I was usually pretty timid when it came to confrontations but at that moment rage took control of my brain and I no longer feared the repercussions. Â
âHyejin are you going to come clean to Mark yet? Or actually any of us?â I said my eyes focused on her
âAbout what dear?â she said in a sickly sweet voice, she knew exactly what I was talking about.
âAbout your cheating ways. About all those times Iâve seen you in that coffee shop with different guys. You should really think about taking them somewhere else next timeâ
âWhat is this?â she laughed
Bambam was in shock he looked at me with huge eyes, willing me to shut my mouth. Not a chance now I had my time to release this pent up fury. Jackson had moved from behind me to beside Jaebum. The other boys looked at me in disbelief at how rude I was being to my sunbae. I didnât give a shit anymore. Mark, poor Mark looked so distraught that we were fighting but there was something in his eyes that was hard and cold that told me I was going to need proof, which I didnât have, before he was going to believe me.
âItâs me getting all this off my chest and hopefully Mark getting your toxic heart out of his lifeâ My gaze never wavered from her eyes as I said this. Thatâs when she turned on the tears and I knew I was done for.
âM-Mark b-baby, donât listen to them. Th-they just wants you for th-th-themselves, that greedy f-fucker was always jealous of us. See wh-what I told y-you?â she sobbed turning to Mark clinging to his shirt front. He looked at me and I saw all the fondness for me that he had once had fade into nothing.
âJust goâ he said quietly as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. He turned away from me as if disgusted with my behaviour.
I turned to go, before I even made it halfway to the door I heard Jackson call from behind me.
âGo on, leave you filthy fuckface! Donât ever think Iâll talk to you again!â His words stung. I was his best friend. Was being the important word in that sentence. I quickly got out of the room and I headed down the corridor. I heard Bambam calling behind me for me to stop and talk to him. His hand reached out to catch my wrist but I pulled it out of his grasp. I ignored his calls for me to wait and continued walking, I didnât want to show him that I was crying. Thatâs how I ended up here. Sitting alone at 11pm, in the relative darkness of my flat and drinking a cup of coffee alone. I mean itâs not that different from my life before but now I didnât feel complete anymore.
I look back down at my phone. A few more messages had popped up since the last one. Jackson, Mark, Youngjae, Jinyoung and Bambam. Bambam seemed to have been the most hurt after my walk out, I could only think it was because I had ignored him that day and continued to walk home. I open his message but clear the others away. Â
> Please come back to the dorm, we miss you so much. I really donât think we can make this comeback without you. The boys are being so weird. They donât talk to each other much anymore unless they have to. Jackson and Mark wonât sleep in the same room anymore. Please come home to us, I donât think I can handle Jackson in my room anymore･ă(ď˝Đ´)ă･
Poor Bambam, the boys seemed pretty worried about me, though they should know me well enough to at i was okay Granted, I hadnât told one soul I was alright in at least a week. Well itâll serve them right for calling me a slut and a whore, and not even considering that I could be right about Hyejin
I try sipping my coffee again. Shit, itâs gone cold. I sigh getting up to go make myself a fresh cup. I pour the cold coffee out of the cup and empty it into the sink. I fill the kettle once again and click down the button for it to boil. Suddenly thereâs a loud banging from my front door. Who the hell could it be at this time? I decide to ignore it assuming itâs just a drunk neighbour who will find their way home eventually. The banging comes again, more intensely this time.
I wander out of the kitchen towards the door and tentatively open the door, just enough for me to see out. Jackson stands there, his back to the door. I should have known. He angrily shouts down the phone at some unknown person. He seems too consumed with that to notice the door opening and closing again. Once the door is shut I rest my back against it. What am I supposed to do now? I know him too well. Heâs damn stubborn, He wonât leave unless he knows where I am.
He must have ended the call because he starts banging on the door again. The vibrations travel through my body almost painfully. I heard his shouts for me but Iâm numb to it all. I donât want to give in. He really hurt me. I know Iâm hurting him. Probably more than was necessary. I sink down to the floor and pull my knees to my chest. His voice breaks amidst his shouts. After this his shouts and hammering on the door ceases. I hear faint sobs from just outside. This is killing him.
Jackson rarely cried around me unless there was good reason to. He must be so upset. Having him so close and having not seen him in weeks with no other contact, to be honest it was killing me. I donât want to relent but hearing his sobs and cries for me just behind me break my resolve. I clamber up from my position on the ground. Placing my hand on the smooth handle of the door, nerves start to get to me. How will he react to me in this state? Iâve lost weight due to the little food Iâd eaten since the fight. Huge bags have appeared under my eyes from a lack of sleep. My hairâs a mess and I look awful in general. A loud sob from Jackson breaks me a little more inside and I brush off all these worries before opening the door.
Jacksonâs face rests against his arm which is pushed against the door frame. Tears trickle down his cheeks at an alarming rate. His voice comes in hoarse sobs. He looks broken. He looks up, seeing the door is now open. His eyes light with something indistinguishable. Anger, relief, fear or something else. I canât tell. There are bags under his eyes and he looks exhausted. He moves so quickly from his position that I donât have time to react before he has his arms wrapped tightly around me.
âOh my god. Youâre alive. I thought. I thought I lost you. Oh my godâ he says between sobs.
Cold air from outside seeps through the open doorway. The chill cuts through my thin pyjama bottoms causing me to shiver, despite it being cold in my apartment itâs colder outside. Jacksonâs skin is cold where it touches my own. He isnât wearing a jacket, he probably left the dorm in a rush. He still hugs me close, though I donât try to reciprocate the gesture. His tears still fall, wetting the fabric of my hoodie and the skin of my neck.
âJackson, can you let go for a sec?â I ask wanting to close the door and get back to making coffee, unable to do that in his strong grasp.
âSureâ he chokes out still trying to calm his sobs. I know soon heâll get over the relief and be angry with me. He lets me go after a final tight squeeze as if to remind himself that this is real, and starts wiping the tears off his cheeks with his hands. I slam the door shut and return to my task of making coffee as if nothing had happened.
He follows me diligently into the kitchen and I hand him a towel to dry off his tears. He gladly takes it from me, I smile at him and silently turn back to making coffee.
âDo you want a coffee Jackson?â I say in lieu of a hello, wanting to get back to normality as soon as possible.
âUm, I guess soâ Jackson replies looking a little surprised by my lack of response to his emotional outburst.
âGo sit in the lounge and Iâll bring it in when itâs doneâ I tell him smiling again.
Surprisingly he complies with my request and quickly heads out of the kitchen. He must be embarrassed by his own actions. As soon as heâs gone, I lean against the counter wondering how the hell Iâm meant to get myself out of this mess. What the hell am I going to tell him? Oh sorry Jackson I lost my phone for a few weeks and I didnât mean to scare you? Well thatâs all bullshit that he wonât believe. He knows me too well. He can tell when Iâm lying.
The kettle clicks off and I fill both cups with the boiling water. I robotically complete the task of making coffee. Still no wiser as to how Iâll get around the interrogation that awaits me in the next room, I lift the cups and bring them into Jackson. He sits on the couch holding a throw pillow, one Bambam brought me back from Thailand, he seems focused on fiddling with the edging on the cushion. I set his cup down on the coffee table and he seems to jump as though he had been oblivious to me entering the room.
âThank youâ he says, as I settle myself into the stained armchair off to his left. He obediently takes a long sip of the hot coffee before looking back at me.
âWhere were you for the last few weeks?â he asks looking concerned at my huddled form in the chair.
âHereâŚâ I tell him the truth unable to come up with a better excuse.
âWeâve been worried sick. Your parents and other friends had no idea where youâd gone. I know youâve gone off the radar before so initially we werenât worried but⌠youâve never been gone for more than a few days without telling someone. Why didnât you tell someone?â
âI didnât think anyone would care where this filthy fuckface went anymoreâ He winces away at the memory of his last words to me.
âLook I came here to apologise to you and tell you whatâs happened since we last saw youâ he says with an earnest look in his eyes.
âFine go on fuckboyâ I spit the words out annoyed at his lack of immediate apology, though a part of me is thankful that heâs back again.
âSince we last saw you basically, Mark went over to Hyejinâs house with us all because we had time off. We wandered in and caught her in bed with another guy. I mean 7 hyperactive guys wandering into her bedroom carrying food and catching her in bed with another guy. That was really awkwardâ When he reveals this information a wide evil grin spreads across my face knowing my suspicions had been right the whole time. My earlier anger forgotten at Hyejin getting what she deserved.
âThey had a huge argument, where for no apparent reason she slapped Mark, and Mark broke it off with her. We all started thinking about how badly weâd treated you, our friend. None of us feel very up to making this comeback without you, especially after that awkward bedroom encounter, we know we all said some very horrible things and it would be understandable if you didnât want to forgive us. I am so so sorry for everything I said. I was hurt. I thought you were just trying to break them up for your own personal gain. I now see you were right and I should have believed you. We all should haveâŚâ
I remain silent not knowing how to respond to Jacksonâs apology. I now feel like I was the stupid one hiding away from them and making them worry. How am I meant to come back from something like that? After a few minutes I settle for an apology.
âIâm sorry too Jackson, I shouldnât have shut you all like thatâ
âYou had the right to we were all assholes to you for no reason other than we couldnât get our heads out of our asses and see what you were trying to tell usâ he looks away from me at this point, probably because heâs annoyed at himself.
âItâs not your fault Jackson itâs hers. She cheated on Mark and manipulated the rest of the boys to think like her and make them think I was trying to drive you all apart. At least you all realised the truth before Mark did something without thinking like propose to herâ There is a long pause after I say this. Both of us must be imagining what it would have been like if Mark hadnât found out about her cheating on him. I shudder at the thought. The silence continues for a few more minutes before Jackson breaks it.
â_____, can I get a hug again please? I need to know that youâre really here again. I still donât believe itâ
I reluctantly get up, leaving my coffee on the table, and make my way across to him. He stands as well and we grasp each other hungry for the reassurance of the others presence. Jackson rhythmically rubs his hand up and down my side. Suddenly his hand ceases movement.
âHave you been eating much since our fight?â he asks out of nowhere
âUm my appetite has been poor for the last few weeks I guess?â I see where heâs going with this now.
âYou feel so bony and thin now, and you look so tired. You havenât slept well either have you?â he says his voice now taking a caring tone.
âNot reallyâŚI missed you guys so muchâŚ.and I felt guiltyâŚfor being such a shitheadâ
âWell Iâm not letting you go anymore. It hurt too much not having you around. None of us can survive without youâ
As Iâm about to reply my phone buzzes in my pocket. I take it out. Mark is calling, just before I get the chance to answer the call the phone is plucked out of my hand and Jackson answers it instead.
âHey Mark, yeah weâre goodâ I try to snatch the phone back from him but he holds me back with one arm.
âOh yeah sureâŚuh huh⌠okay⌠bring some foodâŚsee you soonâ What the hell are they planning? He ends the call and lets me go.  He hands the phone back to me with a huge grin on his face, a huge change for the crying sobbing mess he was half an hour ago.
âWhat are you planning?â I ask narrowing my eyes in suspicion.
âOh nothing, donât worry about itâ he says with a mischievous smirk on his face.
âJackson I know when youâre lyingâ
âLike I care sweetieâ he says while bopping my nose âYou should finish your coffee before it gets coldâ
I return to the armchair and pick up my coffee again. I look across at Jackson who is staring at the coffee in his mug as though his holds the answers to all the worldâs questions. Â I stare at him, the light moonlight and orange tinged streetlight illuminated him, I see an odd beauty in him. The blend of the colours in the light highlight his features in ways that daylight never could. He seems to notice me staring and he looks across at me. A smile spreads across his face, a goofy yet beautiful smile. His eyes are filled with so much love and admiration itâs almost palpable. In that moment something new that I canât quite name blooms in my chest. Itâs stronger than just platonic love, stronger than admiration and stronger than any hate. A new love. A new start.
After about of silence 20 minutes someone knocks on the door, I jump too mesmerised by Jacksonâs face to be prepared for the shock. Jackson quickly gets up and runs to the door. I begin to rise as well but he tells me to stay put and be patient. I hear him quietly talking to someone in the hallway so I get up to investigate who the intruders are. Hell itâs my fucking house i should know who heâs bringing in. Once I reach the lounge doorway, I open the door, just a crack, and see the rest of the members quietly gathered in the hallway holding pizza boxes, large bottles of Coke and a mismatch of blankets and pillows. I tilt my head in confusion as they nod intently to Jackson talking. Before he finishes his sentence Bambam notices me out of the corner of his eye. His eyes widen and he immediately drops the blankets and pillows he was carrying, thankfully it wasnât pizza or coke, he rushes across the small hallway to me, pushes the door open and throws his arms around me in a tight hug. I instantly return his action, just like old times.
âYouâre okay! I thought you hated us and weâd never see you againâ Bambam whispers into the side of my neck and I smile at his words.
âI ainât going nowhere Bamâ We let each other go, not before a tight squeeze of reassurance âWhat are you all doing here?â
âWe decided to come by and apologise to you for how shitty we were to you. So we brought movies, blankets, food and games. We donât have a schedule tomorrow so weâre going to stay here with you and make up for our shitty behaviourâ explains Mark
Simultaneously, they all shout out their apologies paired with 90 degree bows and I canât help but smile. These boys donât mean to hurt anyone.
âI know Jackson explained everything to me. Iâm sorry too I shouldnât have scared you all like thatâ I lower my head at that feeling like I donât deserve such love, care and attention. âIâm not worth all this effort after everything I must have put you throughâŚâ
Tears well in my eyes again. I wipe them away quickly, desperate not to break down now. One of my hands is dragged away and almost crushed in a death grip. I look up and Bambam has grabbed my hand, he smiles softly at me.
âYouâre worth the whole world to usâ he says quietly before Iâm crushed in a huge hug from the others. All of them but Jackson. He stands a little distance away, staring at the rest of the members attacking me with hugs. He seems to wake up from a trance and then start bringing the food into the kitchen. I brush it off as just him being relieved, but there is something niggling me about his behaviour that just doesnât add up.
Before I can ask him about it, I am corralled into the lounge again by the other boys. They set me down on the sofa and wrap blankets around me so I am buried in the mound of soft warm material. I hear a loud dragging sound coming from across the room and I realise they are dragging the mattress from my bed into the living room. Clearly I wasnât getting much sleep tonight.
Mark throws himself down beside me and wiggles underneath the nest of blankets, wrapping an arm around me. I look up at him as everyone else moves frantically around us trying to set up their bed for the night. Mark opens his mouth to say something but then Jackson shouts at him from the kitchen to help him move plates. Mark sighs heavily before heaving himself out of the seat and readjusting my blankets so iâm tucked in tightly again.
The other boys are preoccupied with bickering over which film to watch so i start to flick through the missed messages of the last few weeks. I just get to Jacksonâs when a hand reaches down from above my head and plucks the phone right out of my hands. I look up to see Jackson above me, a wicked smile. He locks the phone and made his way to leave it down on a table across the room leaving me in a state of confusion. He saunters back and plops down beside me, lifting my blankets as he sits down and slides his arm around me.
âWhat the hell Jackson?â i ask him, in a state of utter bemusement still
âShh they decided on a filmâ he says giving me a wink before turning his attention to the TV.
Mark comes back in bearing plates stacked with pizza and empty glasses. We spent the next few hours alternating between watching films, pigging out and playing video games. I realised how much i had truly missed this kind of night. Playing games, watching films and gorging on junk food alone just wasnât the same.
5am rolled around quickly. Bambamâs sleeping head lay back against my knee and Jackson snoozed on my shoulder. The other boys were curled up wherever they could. I had battled on watching the film for a few more minutes longer until i could feel the stiffness in my muscles starting. I gently move Jacksonâs head off my shoulder and prop him up on a couple of pillows. I then set to moving Bambam, I lay him down on a few more spare pillows and pull a blanket over his sleeping form.
I stretch myself out, hearing my joints crack. I decide to stretch my legs and walk out onto the balcony. Grabbing my phone off the table where Jackson had left it, i open the sliding door and feel the wonderfully cool air hit me. It had been far too warm in the room with 7 other bodies in there. The sun is just starting to peek over the buildings. The sky is a wash with so many colours it is beautiful. I finally for the first time in weeks feel at peace with myself.
I lean against the rail and unlock my phone, curious as to why Jackson took it off me in such a weird way. I bring up his messages and begin to flick through them. I scan through them each quickly. Most of them are similar to his gushing apology of a few hours ago. There is one that catches my eye.
> HeyâŚ.look I need you to know something even if you never speak to me again i need you to know this⌠I love you⌠so much more than just a friend⌠i love you in every way possible, always have and always will. I hate not having you here, i wish i could have told you before the fight but i guess life had other ideas. Iâm not trying to manipulate you to come back i just want you to know that, you have every damn reason to leave me, but i just need to get this off my chestâŚ.. I hope maybe this time youâll reply to meâŚ.
I stand there in disbelief. How could he have kept it secret from me. We had no secrets or so i thought. I canât believe he had actually had these feelings for so long and that he had said nothing. I also felt bad for not reciprocating the feelings the whole time either. So many thoughts running through my head. I turn to look at him asleep in the lounge but he is actually at the balcony door.
âWhy are you out here so early?â He asks rubbing the back of his hand against his tired eyes.
âI was stretching my legs and reading through some⌠interesting messagesâ
His eyes fly wide open at my words.
âYou read what i said then?â
âYeah,â i rub the back of my neck feeling awkward âit was all true then?â
He casts his eyes down to the floor and just nods silently. His confession clearly came in a moment of panic and pure, raw emotion. This is the real Jackson. Bare face, messy hair and comfortable clothes. This is the guy I know and love.
âI donât know what to say JacksonâŚâ
âI understand if you donât feel the sameâŚ. I was never good enough for youâ he says softly. I can see tears welling up in his eyes now.
âWhat i mean Jackson isâŚ. All i can say is Iâm sorry⌠I broke your heart the way i acted and in the process i broke my own. I want to say sorry for not realising how you felt until you told me. Iâm sorry for not reciprocating how you feelâŚâ
I can see him holding back a torrent of tears, heâs bracing himself for my next words.
ââŚuntil yesterday. I realised what you really mean to me, youâre my best friend and so much more as well. I would be so lucky to spend the next few hours with you let alone the rest of our lives. I love you too Jackson you big goof.â
I rush forwards and swing my arms round his neck as he lets out a relieved laugh and a few tears. He gently sways us from side to side as we hold each other tightly.
âSorry Jackson for not telling you outright, I just had to explain myself fully.â i mumbled from being pressed to him so tightly.
âItâs okay, so i guess i have to ask, will you date me?â
âOn one conditionâ i say leaning back from him to look at his expression, âwe always talk for the rest of our livesâ
âDealâ he says immediately, he leans forward and presses a chaste kiss to my lips. Thatâs when we hear a loud aw sound come from behind us. We turn to see the rest of the boys at the balcony door.
âDoes this mean youâre going to stop sobbing to me late at night about how much you love her?â says Bambam before he runs away screaming as Jackson springs into action, sprinting after him.
Mark then walks over to me, swinging an arm around my shoulder and walking me indoors. The new beginning of a new chapter in my life. Â Â
A/N: Hi guys sorry itâs been a while since I last posted though I should be publishing a few more fics soon if I can motivate myself to finish them. This fic is named after the Ed Sheeran song Cold Coffee, which I love. Anyway I hope you all enjoyed this fic and always thank you for readingÂ
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