~ I'm Back Bitches

I’m at mcdonalds and this teenage boy just asked his friend why he was wearing a superman shirt with a batman hat and he said “they’re boyfriends you asshole” the children………… are our future perhaps

*Hades voice* for the last time, I’m the god of the dead not the god of death it’s different

*points to winged dude* That’s Thanatos, *he’s* the god of death! I just do the paperwork!

Thanatos is the emo boy all y'all think hades is and be thirstin over. hades is just the guy who manages all the souls. he’s the kinda dude who wears banker clothes even on his days off. all he wants to do is keep the system running smoothly, take his three headed dog for walks on his lunch break, and go home to his solar punk wife who will no doubt peg him until he can’t think anymore.

“Music Played On Wildly Inappropriate Instuments” is my favorite genre of music.

I have extremely close and incredibly loud gators at my beck and call, armed and ready - let me know if need be they be deployed. signed, officialunitedstates

How soon can they get to ohio

they’re extremely close

this is honestly the best post on the entire fucking internet

No offence but Pokemon has been nothing but a positive force in my life and I will love Pokemon forever

Why do Americans put the month first. It just makes no sense.

oh

I find this very funny cause you say that but your independence day is not called July 4th, its called the 4th of July.

What I find funny is that our armies were about half the size of the British army and yet we were still able to crush your crumby asses, declare independence and pour your tea in the ocean.

the sun has come out

the sun is gay

*white girl voice* why are the hot ones always gay