Food… it’s honestly the only thing on my mind lately. I wake up and all I can think about is eating. I go to bed and the same thoughts are still there.And deep down I know I shouldn’t well, more like I don’t want to let myself. But then there are moments when I seriously stop caring. Like, I’ll eat a whole pizza without even thinking, and afterwards the guilt just crashes over me. My brain starts trying to come up with ways to ‘undo’ it, even though none of those ideas ever help and I know they’re not good for me anyway. The thoughts just sit there for like half an hour, refusing to go away. It feels like my whole life is somehow built around food and I’m so, so tired of it. How do I shut this voice off? Because it does not feel good. Sometimes I even have dreams about eating and wake up panicking, trying to figure out the calories from something that literally wasn’t real.
I just want all the food noise in my head to be quiet for once..
