just don't be a dick

How are you?

This week has been probably one of the most chaotic and unlucky weeks of my life. I've always been able to look on the bright side of things though, and this week is no exception, because it's made me realise how fucking emotionally stunted I've grown. This as well as how much work I have to do on my mental health. It's a big challenge that I'm glad I've awakened to. That being said, I've had "awakenings" like this before and not changed or listened or really done anything. I'm more determined this time to make things work. And by make things work, I mean make me work, because that's always been my shortcoming, putting effort into these things (or, realistically, anything). So this is a big step for me. A couple of my closest and most inspirational friends have blog posts where they talk openly so I decided why can't I be like them and actually do something for once. (knightsbites.wordpress.com and rose-m-l.tumblr.com for those interested, they're much better at this than me)

That being said, I'm really not sure what to say. I never realised before this week how bad I am at talking about my feelings. I think I've often either faked how I feel, based off of an approximation of what I assume I should from those around me, or just been so distant from my own emotional state I've become disillusioned with my own internal workings and struggled on without knowing myself how I feel. I could talk about lots of thingsand thoughts and theories that always swim around my turbulent little steam train of a brain. I've got a lot that I feel would be good to get off my chest to do with my mental battles. I'm a man on the autistic spectrum who's suffered through chronic fatigue disorder for the past 7 years who does perhaps too many drugs, struggles to sleep and can never motivate myself towards improving my own life. There's a lot to work with there. But I really don't know how to start. But hey, this is just me saying hello. I'll post something properly later.

This is just a promise to myself. Because I've started now, and that's the hardest part. I'm not alright really, I'm actually really upset and tired and lost pretty much all of the time. And I don't really tell people that. In fact I've never told anyone that. In fact, I never really recognised it before this week. But I am stuck in this violent current of water whilst I desperately try to grab onto this slippery metal bar in front of me, to stop myself from being dragged away. No matter how hard I try, I can't hold on. Not for long. I try to find meaning and safety and security and some sort of thing or goal that gives me that purpose or at least just a moment of peace. But I can't. So this is me, changing my strategy, seeing if there's an alternative to this exhausting struggle.

I'm not a good writer at the best of times, and I think if I think too much about what I'm going to say it will become warped and diluted somehow. So this is going to be a lot of stream of consciousness ramble. I really wouldn't bother reading if I were you. That being said, I hope to talk to you again later about how I actually feel, what form my low periods take and maybe my highs too. That I think would be a good place to start.

Take care now x

It has nothing to do with body positivity.

It’s a felony. 

“Though their laws were created to protect minors from exploitation caused by others, states are prosecuting minors under child pornography statutes for sending nude or otherwise lurid self-portraits, even when the minors sent the selfies without coercion. The common quirk in the laws is that there is no exception for taking or distributing sexually explicit pictures of oneself. Thus, a high school student sending a racy seflie to a boyfriend or girlfriend could subject both themselves and the receiver to prosecution for child pornography. If the picture makes its way around other social circles through online or direct sharing, anyone who received or distributed the photo could also find themselves open to charges.”

http://criminal.findlaw.com/criminal-charges/child-pornography-and-selfies–what-you-need-to-know.html

The OP is 100% correct. If you are under 18, any nude picture of you–even selfies–counts as child porn.