Welcome To My Ted Talk

I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements

I love it. I call them up and say hey bossman I'm camped out on the shitter today yeehaw

you are so beautiful in every way

We will get married on a windswept cliff and the dinner will be easily digestible

"Quivering" is my least-favourite word in the english language. Nothing and nobody should be quivering. If you're quivering right now, stop that shit immediately. Tremble or shake if you must but the quivering has to stop.

They call me Michael Myers in the club the way I just stand there

my therapist????

idk who needs to hear this right now but I'm going to beat you to death I'm going to hurt you and you're going to die and you suck and I hate you

im glad this post is getting notes because it still makes me laugh

“kaiba my friends were kidnapped what the fuck bruh”

Kaiba is living alone in his own separate more intensely anime universe than everyone else

unfortunatyely im displaying behaviours. and acting in ways

i think travel should be free if you're going to meet your internet friends. i dont care about the economy btw