Imagine being a young superhero and newly-minted member of the Justice League. Youβve got a monitor shift with Superman, who you know as an invincible alien demigod who lives at the North Pole. Youβre nervous about spending time with himβwhat do you even have in common with him? What could you even talk about?
And then shortly into monitor duty he casually mentions
his
WIFE???
βI was driving my son to preschool this morningββ
ARE THERE PRESCHOOLS AT THE NORTH POLE, SUPERMAN?
AND WHY WERE YOU DRIVING, FLYING MAN?
You start the shift thinking that Superman is this inhuman messiah-like figure who watches humanity from on high and has no human connections and then you spend the next hour steadily getting more flabbergasted as he tells you about how his six-year-old headbutted him in the nuts this morning before school and invulnerable toddler plus invulnerable nuts means actual pain and youβre just like βwhat the FUUUUUUββ
At one point Batman wanders in all brooding and Superman perks up and goes, βhey Bruce! How was the Parent-Teacher Conference?β
Batman has a name? His name is Bruce? He goes to PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCES?
(Batman replies, in the most tired dadβ’οΈ voice youβve ever heard, βDamian tried to stab his chemistry teacher again.β)
@dayables statistic of βaverage JLA member has 2 kidsβ is 100% accurate. Childrens Broos, who lives in a cave and obtains 2 new children per year, is not an outlier and should be counted.
Clark, Diana, Oliver, Barry, and Wally are all racing for βlargest number of children by any definitionβ and Bruce is currently winning.
New JLA member: *Batman's name is Bruce?!? He has kids??? Nothing makes sense anymore!!!*
Batman (Bruce??!?): Damian stabbed his chemistry teacher again. Oh, and this morning Tim fell asleep hanging upside down in the cave... Also again π.
New JLA member: *Batman's kids are insane? Well at least one (1) thing makes sense again.*













