"What's Up Nerd?"

This has lead to some interesting misconceptions about Bitty with the rest of the Falcs.

Tater knows more about Bitty than anyone, because he shares a room with him on the road. So he knows that Bitty plays hockey, that he’s fast on the ice, has soft hands and a frankly outstanding spin-o-rama. He also knows that Bitty bakes (and has even managed to get his hands on a few slices if he begs Jack enough) and he knows that he lives in the same frat house that Jack used to live in. He knows about the keg stands and the parties and squat challenges and beer pong. He knows Bitty is blond, and that he’s affectionate. 

When the Samwell boys show up at a match - Tater thinks Holster is Bitty. Funny name, yes? to call him Bitty when he isn’t Bitty. Like little potatoes! Like Tater! 

Thirdy knows Bitty likes to bake, he lives in a frat house and wears shorts. He thinks Bitty is Ransom. Jack did say he was from the south. South Canada, eh?

Poots knows the least - he knows Bitty is ‘one for endearments’. He just assumes he misheard when “Jack, you glorious motherfucker!” gets the reply of, “Knock it off, Shitty!”. Of course Bitty and Shitty must be the same. 

Snowy knows two things - Bitty is the ‘nicest person ever’ and smiles always. It’s not his fault that Chowder is also both of those things. 

Guy once walked in on Jack having a conversation with Bitty on the phone. It was warm and loving and made him miss his wife. He took one look at the way Lardo throws herself at Jack and assumes… well… she’s actually bitty. So she must be Bitty. 

Jack really doesn’t help matters when he does the introductions. 

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? 

Is your room messy or clean?

What color are your eyes?

Do you like your name? Why?

what is your relationship status? 

Describe your personality in 3 words or less

What color hair do you have?

What kind of car do you drive? color?

Where do you shop?

How would you describe your style?

Favorite social media account

What size bed do you have? 

Any siblings?

If you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

Favorite snapchat filter? 

Favorite makeup brand(s)?

How many times a week do you shower?

Favorite tv show?

Shoe size?

How tall are you?

Sandals or sneakers? 

Do you go to the gym? 

Describe your dream date

How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

What color socks are you wearing? 

How many pillows do you sleep with?

Do you have a job? What do you do? 

How many friends do you have? 

What’s the worst thing you have ever done? 

What’s your favorite candle scent? 

Three favorite boy names?

Three favorite girl names?

Favorite actor? 

Favorite actress? 

Who is your celebrity crush?

Favorite movie? 

Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book? 

Money or brains? 

Do you have a nickname? What is it? 

How many times have you been to the hospital?

Top 10 favorite songs?

Do you take any medications daily? 

What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

What is your biggest fear? 

How many kids do you want? 

What’s your go to hair style?

What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) 

Who is your role model? 

What was the last compliment you received?

What was the last text you sent?

How old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

What is your dream car? 

Opinion on smoking?

Do you go to college? 

What is your dream job? 

Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? 

Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? 

Do you have freckles? 

Do you smile for pictures?

How many pictures do you have on your phone? 

Have you ever peed in the woods? 

Do you still watch cartoons? 

Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

Favorite dipping sauce? 

What do you wear to bed? 

Have you ever won a spelling bee?

What are your hobbies?

Can you draw? 

Do you play an instrument?

What was the last concert you saw? 

Tea or coffee?

Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts?

Do you want to get married?

What is your crush’s first and last initial?

Are you going to change your last name when you get married? 

What color looks best on you? 

Do you miss anyone right now? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

Do you believe in ghosts?

What is your biggest pet peeve? 

Last person you called?

Favorite ice cream flavor? 

Regular Oreos or golden Oreos? 

Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? 

What shirt are you wearing? 

What is your phone background?

Are you outgoing or shy?

Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Do you like your neighbors? 

Do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

Have you ever been high? 

Have you ever been drunk? 

Last thing you ate? 

Favorite lyrics right now

Summer or winter? 

Day or night? 

Dark, milk, or white chocolate? 

Favorite month? 

What is your zodiac sign?

This is the same AU as we have come, last and best–Kent got himself traded to the Falconers, came out as bi, and moved in with Jack and Bitty, who were already out together.They’re in a happy stable threesome, which the press tends to refer to euphemistically as “roommates”.

Jack has a mental health support dog, a labrador named Winter, and Kent adopted an ex-racetrack greyhound named Noodle. Tater adopted Noodle’s littermate and named him Yuri.

Bitty has an officey job he likes that involves interacting with lots of people and is also publishing cookbooks

Kent has the Baby Hunger ™. Babies do not get very close to him before he is holding them. It requires zero effort to get a picture of Kent Parson holding your 0-3 child. He begins to spend entire evenings with Shitty and Lardo’s child glued to his hip. He keeps “jokingly” threatening to steal Snowy’s newborn.

“Kent,” Bitty says, “What would you DO with a baby? You play 72 games a year, minimum. You are away from home 75% of the damn time.“

Jack Zimmermann after entering the NHL:

Bittle:

Holster: