collaboration with BA(Hons) Jewellery Design at UAL Central Saint Martins

Discoholic 🪩
Three Goblin Art
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Sweet Seals For You, Always

#extradirty
One Nice Bug Per Day
will byers stan first human second
Show & Tell

oozey mess
DEAR READER
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

⁂
Claire Keane
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
ojovivo

roma★
Not today Justin

Janaina Medeiros
taylor price

izzy's playlists!
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@nahotinky
collaboration with BA(Hons) Jewellery Design at UAL Central Saint Martins

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my IG is dead but my blog lives on :-)
for a person dealing w a lot of anxiety, isolation has been a blessing in disguise for me. i realised i like (at least some) people and i also like my anxious self (it's still me and it helps nothing if i disregard it). for the first time in years im excited (wtf???) that im going to meet people and be very awkward and very human together. i want to hear them talk and i want to hear the quiet in between. i want to speak even if nobody asked me a question. i want to be uncomfortable doing something i wanted to do for so long. i feel like im on fire afterwards and maybe then i will conquer my other fears like swimming underwater without holding my nose.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
step 1: imagine it's just you being human on this continent step 2: go do your thing
about a plot twist
i always considered myself a chilled person. i was done with low points of my teenage life by the time i turned 19. since then i began gradually easing my way into yoga, meditation and a love story w/ plants. the books i read told me that this will secure my happily ever after.
3 years fast forward, i turned 22, my lucky number, and felt this year will be crucial, not in a good or bad way. i knew it will be progressive no matter what happens. i learnt not to perceive life/actions as good or bad. most of the time they really are neither.
during the 3 years i struggled to see purpose to my actions, but i was able to meditate my way out of it most of the time. however, it always caught me up eventually.
to direct my path a little bit, i decided to try my best and apply for late admission to my dream uni. because it was so last minute, i had nothing prepared. i only knew why i want to attend the course, but that was based solely a gut feeling and that explanation will get you nowhere in an admission interview. it had to work on my interviewer, because at the end of the summer, i got a letter that offered me a place to study. honestly i must believe in the power of the fierce combo of the universe, intention & lucky numbers, because i wouldn’t think i was simply that good. but i want to touch more on that some other time.
i had no time to celebrate. i planned and stressed from the day i found out. i didn't know if i was ready to be a student after 3 years of trying to adult w/o uni. in a foreign country even, though i've lived in London for 2 years and knew none of the courses in Czech interest me. all my secondary school classmates already started to work on their masters and i was freaking out about undergraduate.
i knew i had to do something about my misophonia, because i couldn't concentrate on reading or writing in class. just like when you have to close your eyes on the tube and wear headphones w/ no music on, just to use them as ear plugs so you don't have to hear people talking or eating... oh wait that's not normal. i didn't realise that until my therapist (and my bf) pointed that out.
instead of learning me cool techniques to help me concentrate, my therapist helped me to point out all the messed up programs i was functioning on in my head all this time w/o even realising ONCE. that's a lot of drained energy and a lot of unnecessary thoughts and a lot of unnecessary words. in 22 years i didn't realise i perceived one day as one continuous series of problems, bigger or smaller, often easily solved, but nonetheless, always there.
16th September descending to the land of 'the other home'. i still struggle to explain this term. what i found out, and worked very hard on, is the idea of home being very much fluid. it is neither place, nor a human being. it's more or less a warming feeling floating somewhere inside my belly and my feet. i got detached from this when i was returning to London after 3 month holidays in my native country. i got very much stressed of the unknown again, also realizing how intangible life is. it's mere fear feeding off the comfort of being close to family and friends again. worked through it a little bit for 3 weeks in my own solitude. being alone used to be a big struggle when i was low, but i became very fond of it again last year. yet my plan now is to understand these anxieties a bit more while occasionally hanging out with my shrink. 💁🏻

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
“Every time I wonder if you do things like this just to annoy me, I tell myself that it has to be accidental, no one could possibly do this sort of thing on purpose even if they tried until blood trickled out of their ears. That’s the only reason I’m not going to strangle you now.”
- literally everyday w/ misophonia
(quoted Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Eliezer Yudkowsky)
our exhibition opening in our warehouse starts in 43mins. i am eating dhal and thinking if i should wear my dressing gown and slippers.
“if you have no problem in your life, you're dead.”
Měla jsem jít na pohřeb kamarádky. Všichni seděli v bílých šatech v zahradě, půlkruhu na bílých, dřevěných lavicích a židličkách. Celá výzdoba byla svatební místo pohřební. Měla jsem avřený oči a snažila se nebrečet. Po chvíli na obřad přišel nějakej švýcar, kterej mě úplně rozčaroval. Úplně jsem ho nesnášela a nchtěla jsem, aby tam byl. Dělala jsem mu pořád nějaký naschvály. Jako že jsem mu třeba nesla skleničku s vínem a těsně před nosem jsem mu s ní třískla o stůl.
Pak byla hostina - losos velikosti plejtváka. Chodili jsme po něm s malýma talířkama s květinovými vzory po okrajích a se stříbrnýma, zdobenýma příborama a ukusovali z něj - jako lední medvědi. Z lososa jsem toho švýcara vyhnala a zavřela na pánských záchodech. Strašně se vztekal. Potom jsme šli na další hostinu k příbuzům. Když jsme vešli dovnitř do jejich domu, stály tam uprostřed chodby šachy na stolečku. Ale figurky byly rozházený po celý šachovnici, jako kdyby se někdo hrozně nasral (jako můj bratranec Lukas - vždycky, když jsme hráli Člověče, nezlob se a on prohrával, vztekal se a rozházel figurky po celým stole).

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
future me, feral, running with the wolves.
“the impossible becomes possible as soon as we are totally surrendered. this is because wanting blocks receiving it and results in a fear of not getting it. the energy of desire is, in essence, a denial that what we want is ours for the asking.”