mysz

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

what situation would u use that as a reaction

when i've eated too many hot chirps

oh my god my eyes are tired i thought that was a pile of ground beef

I'd beef crying too...

If I see you use ":3" I just assume that you want to be bent over and fucked until you can't remember your own name.

when u unholster the gas pump and expose its insert and u push it into ur cars hole and feel the hose stiffen with liquid and u hold down on the trigger watching your cars tank fill all the way up until its close to its breaking point and only then do u let the pump slide out and its still dripping and u plug ur car up to make sure nothing leaks out and u dont even clean the pump as u hang it back up for the next car to enjoy

*four glasses of champagne in* i’m so horny i need to take apart some sort of electronic device