Louder than God's revolver, and twice as shiny.

i was rewatching parks and rec and in the episode “leslie and ron” leslie is listing out all of the things she is guessing might have made ron mad at her. i capped it bc i wanted to see what they said so i’m sharing bc they’re amusing

had conversations with postmaster general about getting your face on a stamp

i sent you a birthday card through the u.s. mail

taught the triplets about the dangers of minimizing the role of government in an increasingly complicated society

i submitted to the new yorker cartoon caption contest under your name

invited you to my linkedin professional circle

that i had food and stuff shut down temporarily for a health code violation

started using the word “scrumptious” too much

once offered you an apple (shouldn’t count i was super drunk)

A faraway king receives a heavy wooden crate filled with a coil of the longest hair he has ever seen.

A despised ruler finds hundreds of pounds of cut-off ponytails at her castle entrance, each one belonging to her own people. 

A young emperor refuses to cut their hair and insists on trying to make peace with invaders. The enemy leader steps forward, draws their blade, and cuts the emperor’s hair themselves.

it’s just a big ball of different cultures with no set value 

there’s more and you should read it all.

https://twitter.com/milknmuffins/status/861092198728609793

I JUST FREAKIN WANT 

FATHER LOUIS WILLIAM SUGA ADAMS III 

On May 7, 2017… 

I was blessed!!