i have a friend
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
trying on a metaphor
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Three Goblin Art
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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Today's Document
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we're not kids anymore.
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@mysicol
i have a friend

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i have adhd
it is annoying
hi
i could make my tumblr page look better if i wanted since i’m literally going to school and learning html but i don’t care enough to. but know that if i wanted to, i would. believe me that
i could make a page so wonderful and revolutionary that the very sight of it would make even the most powerful of beings shudder
but out of pure compassion for the rest of the world, i will not
Transcript:
I’m about to expose the men. Whenever you ask a man’s height, he’ll add an inch. So if he’s 6 foot, he’ll say he’s 6’1 and if he’s 6’2, he’ll say he’s 6’3.
Not me though. I subtract 4. I say I’m 5’9. Especially when there’s other men in the room. And then I just watch them panic. Not only have you exposed his lie, but now he thinks he’s 5’3.
What I do is not a crime, but it should be.
literally obsessed with this tiktok (x)
Godzilla after he fucks up Tokyo for the 6th time this week
I literally feel like doing this to every body of water I pass
there’s something very compelling about this concept, which is executed perfectly in this clip

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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symphonic gamers getting taken off of youtube is devastating but thankfully i was able to save a few clips of it. this one is battle against a true hero and it’s incredible
i can genuinely feel it in my chest when the spear of justice motif drops in
So, okay, fun fact. When I was a freshman in high school… let me preface by saying my dad sent me to a private school and, like a bad organ transplant, it didn’t take. I was miserable, the student body hated me, I hated them, it was awful.
Okay, so, freshman year, I’m deep in my “everything sucks and I’m stuck with these assholes” mentality. My English teacher was a notorious hard-ass, let’s call him Mr. Hargrove. He was the guy every student prayed they didn’t get. And, on top of ALL OF THE SHIT I WAS ALREADY DEALING WITH, I had him for English.
One of the laborious assignments he gave us was to keep a daily journal. Daily! Not monthly or weekly. Fucking daily. Handwritten. And we had to turn it in every quarter and he fucking graded us. He graded us on a fucking journal.
All of my classmates wrote shit like what they did that day or whatever. But, I did not. No, sir. I decided to give the ol’ middle finger to the assignment and do my own shit.
So, for my daily journal entries, over the course of an entire year, I wrote a serialized story about a horde of man-eating slugs that invaded a small mining town. It was graphic, it was ridiculous, it was an epic feat of rebellion.
And Mr. Hargrove loved it.
It wasn’t just the journal. Every assignment he gave us, I tried to shit all over it. Every reading assignment, everyone gushed about how good it was, but I always had a negative take. Every writing assignment, people wrote boring prose, but I wrote cheesy limericks or pulp horror stories.
Then, one day, he read one of my essays to the class as an example of good writing. When a fellow student asked who wrote it, he said, “Some pipsqueak.”
And that’s when I had a revelation. He wanted to fight. And since all the other students were trying to kiss his ass, I was his only challenger.
Mr. Hargrove and I went head-to-head on every assignment, every conversation, every fucking thing. And he ate it up. And so did I.
One day, he read us a column from the Washington Post and asked the class what was wrong with it. Everyone chimed in with their dumbass takes, but I was the one who landed on Mr. Hargrove’s complaint: The reporter had BRAZENLY added the suffix “ize” to a verb.
That night I wrote a jokey letter to the reporter calling him out on the offense in which I added “ize” to every single verb. I gave it to Mr. Hargrove, who by then had become a friendly adversary, for a chuckle and he SENT IT TO THE REPORTER.
And, people… The reporter wrote back. And he said I was an exceptional student. Mr. Hargrove and I had a giggle about that because we both knew I was just being an asshole, but he and the reporter acknowledged I had a point.
And that was it. That was the moment. Not THAT EXACT moment, but that year with Mr. Hargrove taught me I had a knack for writing. And that knack was based in saying “fuck you” to authority. (The irony that someone in a position of authority helped me realize that is not lost on me.)
So, I can say without qualification that Mr. Hargrove is the reason I am now a professional writer. Yes, I do it for a living. And most of my stuff takes authorities of one kind or another to task.
Mr. Hargrove showed me my dissent was valid, my rebellion was righteous, and that killer slugs could bring a city to its knees. Someone just needs to write it.
This is the first time I’ve seen this post but I know I’m gonna love reading it every time it shows up on my dash
THE FLAILING AT THE END-
every antique store looks like this
[ID: a doodle of a cartoonishly convoluted building layout with lots of strangely shaped rooms, weird hallways, crevices, and dead ends. an X in the middle is labelled “the heart (several old people sitting around the checkout talking shit),” and a little appendage at the bottom is labelled “door.”]
However well a Warrior Cats movie would do with book fans and critics, you know there’d be the suburban mom who write a bad review because she didn’t look up anyting about cat watership down and took her seven and eight year old to see a cute movie about cats but instead of getting them to shut the fuck up for an our and moving on with their lives Timmy is traumatized and crying and Kaileighghlaugh has inducted all the other neighborhood kids into a cat cult
….okay, someone needs to explain Warrior Cats to me…
there are cats. a lot of cats dont like each other. some cats can see the future and other magic shit. they fight a lot over food and romance and stuff. the book series follows multiple generations of cats and different perspectives but the general theme is that the cats have different jobs and they have babies and do battle
This is a good explanation, but massively undersells the sheer scale of Death and Suffering also going on. People don’t call it Cat Game of Thrones or Cat Watership Down for no reason. Someone dies at least once a book. Kittens die far too often for my comfort, frankly. Ferncloud’s kits starving to death during the New Prophecy arc will fuck me up for life. Sometimes cats just die fuckin out of nowhere for no damn reason. No one is safe! Bam, a snake pops out of a rock and bites them. Bam, they slipped on a mountain path and plunged to their death. Bam, an eagle swooped out of fuck all nowhere and carried them off. Bam, they fell through the ice while playing on the lake. Bam, they drank fucking car battery fluid, or ate yew berries, or just walked into the wrong tunnel and were never seen again- ALL OF THESE ARE CANONICAL DEATHS. SOME OF THOSE HAPPENED MORE THAN ONCE. And honestly those are all fairly tame ones, more shocking because they happened suddenly when you weren’t expecting it! The really grisly ones, like the two apprentices that get mauled by dogs, or Scourge’s fight with Tigerstar, or Hawkfrost and the fox trap? Those linger. They take their time describing the viscera. If you want to know the scope of the ridiculous amount of dying that goes on in Warrior Cats, just check out the ‘Members of Starclan’ category on the fan wiki. Starclan is the cat afterlife. There are three hundred and eleven pages under the Members of Starclan category. Warrior Cats does not fuck around.

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couldn’t be me
that #relatable feeling when your friend finds out you’re still using tumblr and likes all of your posts
couldn’t be me
that #relatable feeling when your friend finds out you’re still using tumblr and likes all of your posts
Help Make My Stepfathers Last Christmas Great
Reposting this as my last account was randomly terminated.
Back in March, my stepfather was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. It has really taken a toll on our family. Recently, we found out this will probably be his last Christmas with us.
Our family is poor so we were wondering if you could donate to his PayPal to help us make this a Christmas to remember.
His PayPal is as follows:
Go to paypal.me/darcymunshaw and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.
In addition to this, we are selling Prayers for Darcy bracelets to help get him to the United States for treatment at Envita Medical Centers. Our goal is $100,000. Bracelets are $6 each, and you can send the payment here.
Furthermore, I have proof of illness for anyone who asks. I just don’t want to clutter up this post with medical documents as people will be less likely to read it.
Thanks so much for your support, Tumblr
the first pokemon that pops into your mind (now) is your new forever partner, your pikachu-and-ash-level pal. your main pokemon companion who will accompany u thru everything. who is it?
Horror art by Stefan Koidl
yasss I live for this shit

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Hey quick question do people actually wear jeans indoors at home? Like, as a casual thing to wear? As in you don’t plan on going out or anything you just put jeans on.
so many of you are saying yes what the fuck
If you don’t think Roman will be replacing at least one of the words in every Christmas (excuse me, Bitchmas) song, with bitch
you don’t know Roman at all.
“All I want for Bitchmas is You”
“Rockin Around the Bitchmas Tree”
“Have a Holly Jolly Bitchmas”
“It’s Beginning to Look a lot like Bitchmas”
“Bitchnuts Roasting on an Open Fire”
“Bitch, It’s Cold Outside”
“Frosty the Snowbitch”
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reinbitch”
“Have Yourself a Bitchy Little Bitchmas”
“Jingle Bitch, Jingle Bitch, jingle all the way” “You’re a mean one Mr. Bitch” “ Walking in a Winter Wonderbitch” “Silent Bitch” “I’ll Have a Blue Bitchmas Without You” “I’ll Be Home for Bitchmas”
Reblog for additions :D
“Jingle Bitch Rock”
“There’s no Bitch Like Home for the Holidays”
“I’m Dreaming of a White Bitchmas”