why do windshield wipers only have 2 settings?? i need more than “one wipe every 86 years” or “metronome for a skrillex album”

anyone else have that classic middle school experience™ where you lost a nice pen and you saw someone else using it a day later and they’d never used it before so you asked them where they got their pen and they hesitated but then they said “from my house” and you didn’t have any evidence so you couldn’t accuse them of stealing it from you but you always knew deep down

For a minute i thought these were last words

do you ever read the last sentence of a good book and the last words hall in you like a never ending echo and your life stops for a second where you can’t help to stare at the last page before you finally close the book and let all the emotions fade away

Truly a Christmas miracle.