#bogo

Subject: Order #10108

Dear (REDACTED),

Thank you for your recent purchase from The Spiral, home for all your transformation needs! Your order #10108 has been received and is on its way as we speak. Your order includes:

(1) Thick_From_Thin(Nerd)

(1) Mystery(Self)

Expect delivery in 3-5 days.

Sincerely,

The Spiral

We knew you’d come around and round and round and round…

A few days later, an email came through from the Spiral. Included at the top was a photo. You hadn’t seen your friend in a few days, but even then you hardly believed it was the same guy:

They went on to detail how they caught up with him while he was leaving work one evening, caught him completely by surprise, and tossed him in the back of their van, peeling off into the night. He was quickly stripped and had his hands and arms strapped down so that the processing could begin. They administered a pretty standard concoction of hormones, numbing agents, and accelerants mainly focusing on muscle growth. Of course, to keep up his rate of growth, he needed to be pumped with an almost constant stream of protein shakes. Each muscle swole larger and larger, forced to its limit through chemicals and pure calories. Not to worry though, any and all extra fat was carefully suctioned out to be saved for later purposes. He fought like a tiger the whole time, and towards the end of his processing he did manage to snap a strap and made a grab for a technician. So, apologies, but an additional service fee for a personality change will have to be added. A quick prick and his rage was quickly converted to exude cockiness and vanity. Do not worry, a full personality replacement was not selected, so your friend will have many of his same quirks and interests, with just a layer of ‘bro’ layered on top. Finally, we made a few minor mental adjustments, overwriting the last two years or so to line up his current state with his memories, and before an hour was up he was dropped on his front lawn, new gym bag with supplements in hand to ensure consistent, continuous growth.

You were pretty shocked by the results. But looking at his after pictures, damn. It was hard to argue with results. You doubt he would consider himself small now. Mostly, you were worried about how tough his transformation ended up being. Would yours be that severe?

You wouldn’t have to wait long to find out. As you scrolled on your phone that night, a video of a spiral came across my feed. You knew you should ignore it, but something about the visuals and audio made you want to keep watching. The loop was short, and a blast of color and text swam in my vision as you stared blankly ahead, letting it pull you deeper. It felt so nice to just zoooone ouuuut….

And then my phone was gone.

You glanced around. You were in a building you had never seen before, high ceilings and concrete floors. It was nearly empty besides two men stood over you, fiddling with some machine. One had slipped my phone into his pocket. You tried to protest, but the shorter man just said “Quiet” and you could no longer speak. You debated running, but he said “Wait” and your muscles froze in place.

“Thank goodness the last one gave us the excess we needed” the taller of the two mumbled as he placed a mask over your head, and connected it to a tube attached to the mysterious machine.

“Let’s see, really a dealer’s choice. Let’s go… 4’8”, 235, a bit of muscle, full beard…”

“Do you only do cubs?”

“Shut up, he’ll love whatever we do.”

You heard the machine click on and there was a sudden pressure in your mouth. The liquid the soon filled you was creamy and sweet, with just a little tang. You tried to spit it back out, but were quickly foiled. “Suck” was all they had to say, and your body complied. As you chugged the sweet liquid, you felt your muscles grow heavy. Your body was warm, belly full, and mind so sleeepppy…

And everything was black.

When you woke up, you couldn’t tell that anything was different. You were as you had always been: a sexy, self-obsessed cub. It was a few days later, while you were spending time worshiping yourself in the mirror, when you finally saw you had missed an email:

Subject: Order #10108 Fulfilled

Dear (REDACTED),

Your order has been fulfilled. We know you have many options, but thank you for supporting The Spiral.

Sincerely,

The Spiral

I’ve stress knit a dozen ribbed caps this year, settling into shaping and decreases that work for me. Knitters have asked for my tweaks, but they amount to an entire pattern.

So, my idea is this. Publish the hat as my Furrow Cap for some price with notes about using leftover yarn, but make it free with the purchase of any of my other patterns.

Here is the sample cap I’m knitting for design specifications, instructions, etc. Back to work I go.