Rosanna's International Gap Year Adventures

Dear friends,

Today I'm writing a special post because I want to ask you for your help.  Yesterday it came to my attention that Kim Jong Un, the leader of North Korea, had 80 people publicly executed on November the 3rd for possession of South Korean videos, Bibles and Christian literature, which he referred to as "pornography".

As I was reading the article about this, I thought to myself, "Someone has got to do something about this. This is just horrific." And one of the points of the lecture from yesterday jumped back into my mind. Rob Whittaker said to us that we need to stop thinking, "Someone has got to do something about this," and start doing something ourselves.  

I've decided to do the little I am able to do, as one teenage girl, to rescue North Koreans from this despotic regime.  I have begun a campaign with an organization called LINK (Liberty In North Korea) which works to rescue North Korean refugees who are hiding in China, vulnerable to abuse and being caught and returned to North Korea, where severe punishments will await them. $2500 covers the entire rescue of one refugee. This website covers the details of each rescue: http://www.libertyinnorthkorea.org/rescue-refugees/

North Korea is a country where human rights are non-existent. Defectors tell of horrors experienced in internment camps, reminiscent of the Jewish concentration camps in World War II. Malnutrition is widespread, the conditions are inhumane - in some camps 40 men confined to one cell which has to be entered on hands and knees through a door less than 2 feet tall. The inmates are told that they are no longer human, but animals.

The focus so often given when looking at North Korea in the news is the politics, the leader, the nuclear weapons.  However, the aspect that is passed over far too much is that there are PEOPLE living under this government.  While the governments of our Western countries try to make a political change, there is little that any of us can do individually to help. However, we can make a difference in the lives of North Koreans suffering oppression.

I would like to ask your help in making a change for these people. It may not look like a big difference, but for each person rescued, it is complete LIFE-CHANGE.  Please consider donating to gain these North Koreans freedom and a new life.  You can donate securely online on my campaign page, which is:  http://fundraise.libertyinnorthkorea.org/rosanna

God bless you, Rosanna 

Dear friends,

I'm so sorry for being terrible at this consistency thing.  Bible School is wonderful, but it does take a lot out of you, and I've been needing to use all my energy to keep up with things going on here.

We've now finished the first half of Term 1.  We just had travel weekend, which is a 4 day weekend when everyone is allowed to go travel and have fun. I opted to stay at the school, as did about 10 others, to get some sleep and enjoy some rare peace and quiet. I've enjoyed it very much. On Friday 4 other friends and I biked for 28 km to Lindau and then got a cheap 5 person ticket which allowed us to take any train in Austria all day. So we travelled to some random places and busked and made no money and ended up eating McDonalds for lunch cause it was cheap. Lots of fun!

I've turned 18 now, so I'm officially an adult! It was very strange to be away from home on my birthday, but my friends and I ate birthday cake at midnight and went out for dinner (pictured) and it was good fun.

As far as the actual content of Bible School goes, I've been very much enjoying it. We have lectures for 3 hours every morning from Monday to Friday, and then 2 hours in the evening from Monday to Thursday.  For some weeks we have guest lecturers from all over the world, which is very interesting and brings a different perspective to the teaching here. We've read "The Pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer and I am currently working through "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis.  We are also expected to read through the whole Old Testament during our time here, so there is plenty of reading to be done all the time!

So overall life is pretty good, and God is great as always. I am certainly learning from my time here, and I am very thankful for that.  Thank you to all of you who are praying for me and who have written letters and messages! They never fail to make my day.

I love you all so much!

<3 Rosanna

Hello, everybody!

First off I'd like to apologize for how sporadic my blogging has been lately. As in... I've blogged once. Settling in here has taken quite a bit of work and I'm still working on it. I've been trying to spend less time online as I heard some very good advice from former students who said to spend your time and effort on the people here at Bible School as the people at home will still be there when you get home.  I will still be blogging, but it may not be as often as I had originally anticipated.

In this first week we've begun lectures, which have been so far very good and very challenging.  I've got lots to be working through!  When I get some good conclusions and lessons I've thought through I'll be sure to share them.  

We've also begun "K-groups", which stands for Koinonia Groups, and these are co-ed small groups which will last for the whole 6 months and are meant to be an opportunity for students to have closer, deeper relationships with a few people, like a small community.  I'm really pleased with mine, and I think that we will be able to grow close and share seriously this year.  

Just today a few girls began an accountability group together to support each other. We're planning to meet every week or 2 to share our struggles and triumphs and encourage one another, which I'm very thankful for at the moment.  

I'm really glad that relationships have begun to move past the surface level and get into deeper territory now, as I've been missing the close relationships I have with my friends at home.  

In more fun and interesting news, I hiked a Swiss Alp yesterday!

The whole Bible School took a 2.5 hour bus ride through Germany, Austria and Switzerland to Ebenalp, which is one of the Alps we can see from our top dorm windows.  

I got the chance to break in my new hiking boots, which I was quite excited about.  They're well broken in now!  It took us 3 or 4 hours to climb all the way to the top.  The leaders told us to dress warm and bring extra sweaters, as it was meant to be cold at the top... Were they ever WRONG! It felt fairly tropical for the whole walk; I have never been so hot or exhausted in my life (possibly sliiiiighty exaggerated).

I managed to get to the top, which was my goal! However, I got there fairly late, so I had to take the gondola down instead of climbing down.  The scenery was incredibly beautiful, and I spent a small amount of breath singing The Sound of Music, as I was on an Alp, after all!  About halfway up I dipped my feet in a glacial lake, which was absolutely lovely, and I experienced schnitzel sandwiches for the first time.  Life-changing is all I have to say.

I'm so glad I'm here! I can't wait until things get more into a routine and I can fit more regular time in to be blogging and keeping in touch with everyone!

Much love to you all!

Dear friends,

I AM IN GERMANY! BNASJDIOVDFLAKSJDOIXNLNXZLKVAOIWGNASLKKBNASKLDBANKSLJALDKFJASDKLASKLFN!!!!!!!!

So on Wednesday night I met up at the airport with Daniel Foutz, who I flew from Toronto with. We got our first 5 hour flight to Reykjavik, Iceland with Icelandair, which was quite a nice airline actually (recommended!). It was uneventful and unfortunately sleepless on my part, but hey, I got to see Iceland! There was no ice... letdown.

In Iceland we went through long security lines and they checked our bags yet again. Then we got our second flight from Reykjavik to Frankfurt, which was also uneventful and thankfully there was sleep!

We got to spend a fun 8 hours in Frankfurt, doing not very much. There was some awkward vlogging fun involved and taking selfies with my doll of my friend Priscilla! (We made dolls of ourselves and swopped them.)

Once we took our flight to Friedrichshafen, which I completely slept through, a couple of girls (Kendra and Alisha) met us at the airport and helped us get a taxi to the youth hostel we stayed in for the night! The shower and bed was lovely. However, I did realize that I accidentally hadn't eaten anything but granola bars since dinner the night before!

In the morning we went for a walk around Friedrichshafen before the staff from Bodenseehof came and picked all of us girls (and poor Daniel) up from the hostel and drove us to the school!

Everyone was there and it was ridiculously crazy and stressful to see 104 new people who were all really excited, but the awesomest part of my first day was realizing that Anna Kate and I were put in the same 4-person room! I'm so excited to be roommates with her! It's really an answer to prayer that I know someone already and I'm sure it will really help me to adjust quicker to Bible School.

I've done a few things here so far, like walking to Kaufland (the wonderful grocery store here in Fischbach - the little town Bode is actually in), taking a walk through Fischbach itself and going to some amazing bakeries and coffee shops with Anna Kate and the wonderful only British girl here, Kezia, and already RECEIVING SOME MAIL?! Thanks so much to the people who sent mail, I feel so blessed! (I was the only person to get 2 letters on the first day, I feel so loved!)

So overall, that has been my crazy and full first few days! Not as much detail as I could include, but Internet is a bit hard to get here because everyone is trying to use it at the same time, and our days are pretty packed! Once I get into a routine I'll try to start posting more regularly and more interestingly!!

So much love, you guys!

Dear friends,

In my post about my trip to England I mentioned what God had been doing in my life regarding my fears, the fear of death to be more specific. Since I've returned home I haven't been struggling with that fear, but different fears have crept up in unobtrusive ways, so that I barely noticed they were there.

Today I read a book called "Your Story: The Wounding Embrace" by Brett Ullman. It focuses on the growing problem of self-injury in today's youth. The issues he addresses are not ones that I have had to seriously deal with myself, but I know many people who have.  He referenced the song "I'm Not Alright" by Sanctus Real in his book.  Some of the lyrics spoke to me:

I'm not alright, I'm broken inside, broken inside. And all I go through, it leads me to You, leads me to You.

Even though the things I'm struggling with right now may not show themselves in the same way as the fears I faced before my trip to England, I have recently realized that they can be dealt with in the same way - the same way that any issue I ever deal with can be dealt with.  As the song says, I'm not alright. I am broken. As long as I'm alive on this earth, there will be things in my life that leave me broken, not okay. But at any given time, the things I'm going through lead me back to Him. They lead me back to Jesus. 

He dealt with my fear of death, and I know that He can deal with all of my problems the same. He gives me strength to go on. And so even as my struggles remain with me, He is faithful to stay close to me and give me strength. 

I'm not alright, but as I am led to Jesus, He heals my brokenness and helps me face life with my chin up. He can do the same for you.

As always, feel free to shoot me a message if there's anything you want to talk about regarding my post, or really regarding anything!

With love, Rosanna

My dear readers,

Last night I slept over at a friend's house - actually, sleeping over would be the wrong phrase to use there - but I spent the night at a friend's house and we did an entire Lord of the Rings movies marathon (not extended edition, for all you really serious LOTR fans, sorry!). It took us from midnight to 9:30 am and I am now totally zombified on 1 hour of sleep, but that's not my point! It was a great night and we had a lot of fun, but however odd it sounds, I feel like I gained something from my sleep deprivation. 

Never before had I watched all three Lord of the Rings movies back-to-back. There were always fairly significant spaces in between my viewings of each, and I really do feel that watching them all together gave me a better perspective on the ongoing themes and messages throughout all three movies.

The one theme/message that stood out to me all night was that of the friendship between Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee, more specifically the unconditional friendship given by Sam to Frodo.Let's be honest here, Sam is the most faithful friend anyone could ever have! He sticks with Frodo through everything, even when Frodo acts like a complete jerk (not that I'm blaming Frodo for all of it, I realize that he did have THE RING around his neck and all that, but he was really quite unpleasant sometimes). Let me give you a few examples.

When Frodo goes off on his own after Boromir tries to take the ring, Sam wades out into the deep water to reach Frodo's boat and consequently nearly drowns because he can't swim. 

Sam is always looking out for Frodo, specifically against Gollum, and though Frodo frequently gets angry at him or doesn't listen, Sam doesn't give up on him. 

In Osgiliath, when Frodo tries to give the ring to the Nazgul, Sam manages to stop him, but in his fragile mental state, Frodo attacks him with a knife. Even at this point, Sam doesn't let himself get angry, but comes out with one of the most touching speeches of the movies:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xDD7egEN2k 

I may be going overboard on the examples, but I have to mention the one that makes me cry every single time. On Mount Doom, when Frodo is out of strength, Sam delivers my favourite line, Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can't carry it for you... but I can carry you! It's at that point that I always have to grab a tissue box, but his unwavering faithfulness is so beautiful, challenging and rare that I can't help it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_NmCh42hZM 

It was just last night, while watching Sam's continual offering of friendship to Frodo that I realized how much of a challenge Sam is to each of us.  Do you have somebody in your life that needs a friend, but rarely or never reciprocates the effort in your friendship? What about the people who tend not to trust anybody or lash out when they are challenged?  These are the times when it can be hard to be a friend, but as I watched Sam's fictional example onscreen, I realized that your friendship counts most when it's not easy, and when you're the only one willing to keep standing by that person.  Though they are likely not carrying the one ring on a chain around their neck, I'm sure there are situations in their lives that have brought them to the places they are, and understanding these situations and offering love through them is key.

Whoever it is in your life may never tell you what your friendship meant to them, but I think I could make a safe bet that they would be at the very least grateful to know that they have a friend they can rely on.  

Sam's friendship made a difference to Frodo, and in all honesty, Frodo would never have made it to Mount Doom without Sam.  Maybe you'll do the same for your friend. If you want to talk more about any specifics of a friendship like that, shoot me a private message here on my blog and I'd love to talk with you!

Yours, Rosanna

Hey, everyone! This is something I wrote a few months ago and posted on Facebook, but it certainly still applies, and I wanted to share it with those of you who are not on Facebook and haven't had the chance to read it. I hope it encourages somebody!

Have you ever felt the need to be perfect so that you won't be rejected by the people around you?  I'm sure it's a common sentiment, and it is one of the most frustrating because perfection can never be reached, and rejection is sure to come anyway in some form or another. Each and every one of us has a longing to be loved and accepted, however that may show up in our lives.  

For years I have struggled with a desire for unconditional acceptance, and the sense that I needed to deserve it somehow. It controlled the way I would engage in relationships with friends, teachers, even my family.  I would shy away from uncomfortable confrontation in fear that I might cause someone to dislike me or be angry with me. And then if the epitome of horror - having someone upset with me - did find me out, I would apologize over and over until it made things worse, but you can't really apologize for over-apologizing, now can you? That always resulted in me feeling even worse about myself, feeling like a failure, feeling like nobody loved me. Eventually I would just withdraw into myself until I could boost my self-esteem enough to try again. It was a vicious cycle, and there was nothing I could do to make it better. 

As my sense of value came from the way other people saw me, I would feel really good about myself when my friendships and relationships were going well, when I knew that people valued me and enjoyed having me around.  But people are fickle, and my sense of worth never lasted long.  Even if it was unintentional, someone was bound to hurt me in some way and send me back to feeling worthless.

This mentality of self-maintained relationships even affected my relationship with God. I had had a relationship with Him since I was 6 or 7, and over the years I had grown closer to Him through the difficult periods of my life, but I sometimes caught myself feeling like I had failed Him.  If I did something wrong or felt like I wasn't reading my Bible enough or praying enough, I would start to pull away from Him and feel like He was upset with me and I couldn't approach Him the same way.  It was exhausting, frustrating, and left me feeling utterly inadequate.

However, I have fairly recently come to realize something that revolutionizes the whole mind-set I used to be stuck in.  The message of this one sentence changes everything for me:

Jesus gave up acceptance and instead experienced the rejection of men so that through Him I might have acceptance by God.

Essentially, Jesus Christ came to Earth and experienced the very thing I am so terrified of and that must have caused Him- as a human- so much pain, so that I wouldn't have to go through what He did.  All of the insecurity I struggle with is uncalled for because God will always love me, no matter what I do, no matter how many mistakes I make, problems I cause, no matter how many times I hurt Him. He never stops loving me!  This not only makes a difference in my relationship with Him, but with others as well. When I know that I already receive the unconditional love I so deeply desire from God, there is no need for me to pursue people to love me, or to try to be perfect.  God loves me, flaws and all, so I realize that being real and being myself is much more important than making a constant attempt not to offend anyone.  

God has changed my life in many ways; this is only one of them.  I would love to talk to any of you about my story or about your story! If you've never thought about your story, now is a great time to start :)

Finally, this is a song that I think gives great perspective on what I've written about, so enjoy!

God bless you, Redeemed, Accepted, No Longer Rejected, Rosanna

You Are More - Tenth Avenue North http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhDrzTQ5rn0

Hullo there, people who read my blog!

Somebody just mentioned to me how this next year was going to be full of my blogging and I realized how shamefully I've been neglecting you all. Therefore, I thought I'd tell you a bit about my summer! I was meaning to make a post about my graduation, but I left that as a draft for 2 months and it now seems a bit late, so I'll just say that graduation was amazing and awesome and memorable. And... I'm glad that high school is done. 

Back to more interesting things! So I spent the first month or so of my summer cleaning at my church. That was lots of fun (especially cause I have the best boss in existence, honestly), and I have realized how important it is to:

FINISH YOUR COFFEE BEFORE PUTTING IT IN THE GARBAGE CAN! DO IT, PEOPLE!

Friendly public service announcement there. But yes, I cleaned and enjoyed that! Then for 3 weeks my family took our bi-annual trip to England to visit family and friends. We spent some time in Liverpool with my uncle and aunt and their 3 adorable little girls. We visited my grandparents for a week and did some shopping (yay!), and then we went to a week-long Christian conference in Devon (the south of England). 

Rora (the conference) is probably my favourite part of every trip to England! This year was no different. God always speaks so clearly and powerfully there, and I was very encouraged and impacted by the worship and the speakers. 

This year has been a fairly difficult one for me, what with losing 5 people in my life and leaving school and having a lot of stress, and I'd found that fears were creeping in more and more strongly. Death seemed very close, and I was starting to think about it a lot and worry about it, though I knew in theory that I was saved and going to heaven. Over the week of Rora, God taught me anew to trust Him with everything, even when the outcome is unsure, and I know I don't have to be afraid of anything because He is in control!

We finished off our time in England back in Liverpool with my uncle, and I had some great times with my friends who live there (hence the picture! My friends Nyasha, Sam and I went shopping and bought the same shirts, so now we have formed a band named Maroon 3. That's the superhero pose).

Overall, this has been one of the best trips to England I have ever had, and I'm so thankful to God for all the opportunities He has given me to enjoy friendships and to grow in my relationship with Him. He's so incredible!

I am now back in the country and have just less than a month to put my entire life in order before I head off to Deutschland! Which is very exciting, but also coming up extremely quickly!

I'll be sure to post again next time something worth talking about happens!

Until then, God bless you, my friends! Rosanna

My high school music teacher of four years, Mrs. Darlene Joy Merenick, passed away from ovarian cancer this morning at 7 am. 

Mrs. Merenick, Just as Emma Grace showed grace through her life and her struggle with cancer, you have shown such incredible joy in yours. You were an unbelievable inspiration to me. When you came to our Christian Ed. class to talk to us about your struggle with cancer, I will never forget what you said when we asked you if you ever wondered, "Why me?" You said, "Well, why not me?" That was so characteristic of you. You were never one to stay down in the dumps or feel sorry for yourself. You always held to God and turned away from feeling angry or discouraged.  You are what comes to mind when I think about people who have strong faith in God however terrible the circumstances. I have so many precious memories of you and of music classes. You telling my parents and me before I even started high school that my voice teacher was going to kill you for what you were going to do to my voice. You did it, and I loved every minute of it, except possibly the yell exercises...   I remember how your devotions were the ones we loved the most, how excited you would get over little things like the lovely nurses at the hospital during your chemo treatments, and your wonder at the ingenuity of your port. I remember all the times in band, vocal ensemble and jazz band as well! You always had the best fruit salad and we were constantly jealous. You told us we looked dead every time we performed, but that last concert we had together, I think we looked the most alive we ever have. And that's because you were at the back of the room jumping around and making us smile, even though you were so out of breath. When you taught me how to conduct and helped me with all my Grade 12 music compositions I developed significant respect for your arm muscles! Conducting is hard work.   I remember your love of the colour orange, the amazing shoes you always had, and when you lost your hair, the awesome Bohemian headscarves.  You chose the best music, especially for vocal ensemble, and you made it such fun for all of us. I loved your laugh, your sense of humour, your wisdom, your amazing musical creativity, your beautiful, strong jazz voice, and your excitement when you finally discovered what you said my true vocal style is: Indie Rock Alto.  You were strong-willed and opinionated, and you had my true respect.  You loved your students and those around you. I know how much music was your passion, but your highest goal was for your students to understand God's love for them and to share the love you had for Him. I will never forget you, Mrs. Merenick. I will forever remember the years I spent in your class with great fondness, and I so wish I could be one of the alumni coming back to visit you once I leave. And on June 26, when I play Entr'acte by Georges Bizet at my graduation, I will play it in your honour because you were the one who loved the way I played that piece. I wish, more than I can express, that you could be there to hear it and to present my music award, but I take heart knowing that you are in heaven with the God you loved so much, you are not in pain any longer and you have your beautiful singing voice back. Thank you for everything. I love you so much, Mrs. Merenick. 

Love, Rosanna

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFdkZt0GLuw

Hey everybody!

Yesterday was the last day of high school classes I will ever have. There are still exams ahead of me, but I will never again have a normal day of high school. I thought I was ready to leave but after crying my eyes out all the way home on the bus reading the grad section of my yearbook I've realized that I'm really not.

I am so honoured to call myself a part of this wonderful group of individuals that our vice principal named "The Class of Increasing Hope". We have overcome so much together this year and instead of letting the problems tear us apart, they brought us closer together.  

Our grad prank yesterday (which was wonderful and involved driving a car into the school, filling the staff room with balloons and saran wrapping staircases) provided our grade with such a feeling of family, community and unity.

I love these kids so much. They're like brothers and sisters to me. And I'm going to miss them all SO much when I have to leave them.

I have been so blessed by this class this year, and I thank God for each one of them. <3

Feeling nostalgic, blessed and grateful, Rosanna

Hello peoples!

I have a special post today, because it is about my first official Bode friend, who is also sort of my twin, Anna Kate Crane :)

She lives in Ukraine as a Missionary Kid, and the two of us have a RIDICULOUS amount of similarities! I sent her a message on Wednesday and since then we have discovered that we are both gingers, both love Ariel, both love music, wear glasses, have the nickname Steve and have fathers who are doctors. Those are only a few of the things on the Steve/Steva list of sameness! I'm so blessed and excited to have a friend already, and I can't wait to meet her!

Just wanted to share my joy at this discovery with you guys!

Yours, Rosanna

Hey friends!

Bodenseehof is feeling close and yet far :P But I'm very excited! It's feelin close because I've joined the Facebook group for future students and it's very cool to be already "meeting" people I'll be friends with next year! (There seem to be a lot of Canadians, which is neat!)

Still, after booking my plane tickets (AHHHH IT'S OFFICIAL!) it feels like a long time to wait! But only 44 days more until graduation, and then I can really start looking forward to next year!

Yours, Rosanna

Great news, everyone! I have been accepted to Bodenseehof! :)

I got the email this morning, and I am so thankful to God for showing me what He wants me to be doing next year! His timing is perfect, and He really worked through the period of (agonizing) waiting for Bodenseehof's reply.

I absolutely cannot wait to see what God has in store for this coming year!!

<3 Rosanna

PS Here is me taking out my exuberant joy on poor David.

I am realizing anew how impatient I am, what with the checking the mailbox every day despite the fact that I'm not meant to be receiving news from Capernwray for another two or so weeks.

I wasn't going to post much on here until I got an acceptance, but I'm feeling the need :P Bear with me!

<3 Rosanna

PS This is the closest visual representation I could find of me being impatient. Enjoy this muchly.

Here I am, staring at a new, untouched, blank blog. I am so excited to start this, and to start telling all you people about my gap year!  Not that it's started yet. I'm still in school, but there are only 81 more days until graduation!

I've sent off my application to Capernwray in Germany, and I'm hoping to hear from them within the month! If I'm accepted, then I'll be spending 6 months of my gap year at Bodenseehof in south Germany :D Which will be pretty much the most exciting thing I've ever done!

I'm so excited to see what God has planned for this year and to go live it!

Excitedly, Rosanna

PS Here is a picture of me looking excited :)