Black Panther's Heart

Me: hoLY-

Me: *strangled screaming*

Me: *pounds fist on table*

Me: do yOU SEE MY CHILD

Me: THAT IS MY BABY

I once received a DM comprised of just that sentence. Nothing else. No constructive criticism or any reason as to why this person clearly agreed with my own view of myself.

For someone who has never told anyone in their real life that they write anything, reading something like this from an anonymous user only solidified in my mind the fact that this person was right.

I’m not a good writer.

After an embarrassing amount of minutes passed, in which I thought about deleting every story I ever posted, I decided to delete the message instead. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean I could delete the feelings it caused or change the fact that I’m not a good writer.

Two weeks went by and I didn’t write anything, let alone post. Then I received a comment on a story I had posted three years prior, one I’d written after a death in our family. The comment read, “Thank you for sharing this heartfelt story. I really needed this. I just lost my mom and this really got me today.”

I stopped thinking about being a good writer after that. I thought instead, “what if I had deleted my stories and that one person three years later hadn’t read it that day?”

Here’s what I realized: no one is a good writer.

Good means to be approved of, but stories aren’t created from approval. They’re built from life experiences, feelings, and emotions Therefore, the impact of anyone’s story isn’t good or bad. It’s a million other things.

Heartfelt.

Sad.

Funny.

Inspiring.

Romantic.

So to all the story writers out there, hold your head up, write what is in your heart, and never doubt that there isn’t at least one person out there that needs to read your story.

So, no.

Sometimes I suspect we are all horrible people. Or at least, we are human people. Same thing. We are impatient, judgmental, irritating and irritated, grumpy, easily offended and the rest of it.

So how to be kinder if it doesn’t come naturally? 

Fake it. 

Fake it a little bit at a time. 

Because there isn’t actually any difference between doing something nice for someone because you are naturally saintly and perfect, and doing something nice for someone because you are secretly demonic and trying to cover it up. It’s still an act of kindness either way, and you still made their lives better.

Smile at people. Say hullo. Ask about their lives. Remember what they’ve told you about their lives. Do small things to try and help them. (They will not know you are horrible, do not worry. They will just perceive that you are helping.)

Give people the benefit of the doubt. Remember that it’s more often stupidity to blame than evil, that everyone can screw up (including you) and what’s important is learning from that.

Think “What would an actually kind person do now?” – and do that. Don’t beat yourself up when you fail. Just be as kind to yourself as you will be to others – even if you have to fake that.

this is the only camboy au i have 😳 also please excuse my naming skills, i’m not at my peak today oooff 

warning: ABO, Alpha/Omega dynamics, no powers, daddy kink

Tony, in his free time, is @ OGAlphaDaddy, a webcam performer that caters to desperate and lonely omegas, betas, and even some alphas. He’s best known for his snark and domineering presence. People don’t know his face, and have only seen him from the neck down. Peter is also a webcam performer going by @ RealOmegaSlick that does not show much of his face. He’s known for his perfect ass and his tendency to go on random tangents about climate change as he’s riding a toy. 

One day, while Peter is whining to his viewers about the difficulties of being a Stark Industry’s intern and more so about finding a good alpha, one of his subscribers suggest he check out Tony’s live shows. Peter does. It only takes five minutes for Peter to become addicted. This one isn’t all alpha bravado, he talks, he’s articulate intelligent, he’s funny. Peter watches one old video where the alpha is roleplaying a daddy and baby boy scenario and to his surprise, he comes completely untouched. Tony, or Daddy, as Peter refers to him on his own livestreams, only gets wind of this when his viewers inform him that Peter’s been openly thirsting over him. Tony checks out Peter’s channel, because of course he does. He ends up spending nearly all day watching Peter’s old streams. He almost gets caught with his hand down his pants when Pepper drops by to check in on him. 

Tony hadn’t planned on interacting with any other streamers when he started out, but Peter is… something else. He’s a bit of a brat. He doesn’t let any of his alpha viewers push him around. He doesn’t stop talking, which is a sign of a challenge for Tony. He wants to see Peter speechless, flustered, overwhelmed, preferably while he’s stuck on Tony’s knot. He wants to see Peter beg him with that pretty mouth, hear what he has to say when Tony tells him to be patient. Peter is a little different when Tony messages him. Peter is in disbelief that Tony is the first to reach out because Peter has been doing this for only a couple of months. Tony has been around for years now. He’s embarrassed when Tony brings up the whole “Daddy” thing, but the conversation soon veers into dangerous territory and Peter is, once again, coming untouched. Afterwards, Tony asks Peter if he’s in need of an alpha. Peter practically screams “YES.” 

Neither of them are aware that they’ve met before. When the cameras are off, Peter is a college student and an intern at Tony’s company. He’s talked to Tony once at the beginning of his internship, see him pass by the labs occasionally, he’ll smile politely when they’re in the same room, but that is as far as their interactions go. Tony is strictly not allowed to pursue any of his staff, so he tries to keep his distance from that one particularly adorable intern that smells like he’s everything Tony wants. 

They talk online constantly. Soon enough they’re getting to know each other personally. Their conversations go beyond what they do on camera They become friends, then the lines start to blur. They… plan to meet up. After weeks – months of them teasing their subscribers, they’re asked when they’ll be streaming together. It goes radio silent for a while, neither of them confirm anything. Until one day, Peter goes online and he’s not alone.