my inner rambles

I need to go to sleep but I can't get myself to close my eyes. The sooner I go to sleep, the sooner tomorrow comes.

The dread of tomorrow is already seeping deep into my bones making tonight nearly unbearable.

I often find myself thinking about who I am. I know what I am not.

I am not naturally witty like my sister. People are not drawn to me like my brother. I am not effortlessly pretty like my cousin. I am not smart like my friend.

People say that comparison is the thief of joy, but how can I not compare?

People say that I am enough just the way I am. But every time I am myself I am never enough.

I am too loud. I am too sensitive. I am too dramatic. I am too serious. I am too sad. I am too anxious. I am too reclusive. I am too boring.

People say that I am enough, but then they go and tell me otherwise. They seem to always have good things to say about others, so they must have something good to say about me.

I don't know if it's my need to be liked and accepted, or my utter disdain for myself that makes me constantly believe that I am not enough.

People say that I am kind. I am loving. I am empathetic. I am funny. I am loved. I am accepted. I am unique. I am smart. I am talented.

People say that I am enough just the way I am.