:-)

love my downward spiral :) #myspiral #descending

#descending

#descending

#descending

#descending

#descending

#descending

If I ask nicely will people reblog this and tell me what their most common breakfast is? Not your favorite necessarily, just what you have for breakfast most frequently? 🙏🏽

Every glasses-related poll honestly needs to be separated into diopter ranges like wrestling weight classes bc every timeeeeee these +1.25 bitches are in the notes like "OMG why would you wear glasses in the shower!! why would you wear glasses having sex!!" because without them i am functionally blind. you may as well turn the lights off at that point bc i am feeling my way to the pussy like Velma. those are my eyes, bitch

i love poison omelette

-1

-1

-1

got some kick to it i tell you what

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

shoutout to the words "overmorrow" and "ereyesterday". english losing these words was stupid. "the day after tomorrow" "the day before yesterday" clunky-ass constructions. revolting. i'm bringing overmorrow and ereyesterday back in my idiolect and there is nothing you can do about it

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

When I was a boy, girls used to just do random cartwheels for no reason. Then one day, they stopped. As a man, no women randomly do cartwheels. This is because society is evil and killed the cartwheel impulse in their soul. They don't even spin horizontally anymore. It's fucked up.

there are days where NO ❌️ video games are played and there are days where video games are played for 10 or maybe 14 hours straight

it’s 2014 it’s time we moved on as a nation and stop reblogging this

every person who reblogs this in 2015 is gonna get their ass kicked by yours truly

im a fake fan of everything i like because i cant remember anything

do u think i can go for a run today or is that something only normal people are allowed to do

weird animals run all the time dude

im going to go for a scamper and scare everyone

what they dont tell you about strategy based games is that its hard if you’re stupid