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HELL N HIGH WATER (24)

I had to overshare like this as my last step to let go. I’ve held me down in many ways, being I’ve kept all my secrets and I simply do not care to care anymore. “You’re such an old soul.”, “You’ve been here before.”, “How are you so wise?” Is what the people say and I’m none of that. I just had to mature faster than I was suppose to, I’ve been through a lot, seen even more, and my wisdom comes…

Full Circle Half Empty

my life has been full circle the last couple months, may i humbly say…i’d consider it “complete”[as time has progressed i have decided that my life in its entirety isn’t “complete” but more specifically a phase..the first one…in which i’ve been working on for years.]also a part of me goes back in forth with the idea i might be thinking to “low” when i say that, but honestly it feels right to say.…

A Short Sermon: Entitlement Spitefulment

Forever thankful to be gentle enough to break myself down in order to be strong enough to build myself back up. Today we will talk about entitlement; just like the “Am I Sensitive?” blog I am here to admit I am, trying not to be, entitled to a persons ability to do anything that involves me. I would love to try to figure out how to differentiate entitlement from respect but I don’t really know…

Do you believe in formal break ups? I do, maybe because I’ve never been given the opportunity to experience anything other than abandonment, in which I will admit matured me but has also been kind of… traumatic along with set the tone on how I deal/adapt to others ideally. Have you ever been ghosted?As I’ve gotten older I can comprehend the “embarrassment” that comes with being ghosted and to…

Depression: Nobody Cares About Me

This is written in present tense, because I didn’t take the time to edit it. I wrote this January 31 and just held onto it, published “I might be!…the problem” instead for the month of February. I know I’m loved and I know if I felt like voicing that I feel like nobody cared about me; my loved ones would be concerned, apologetic, or like “bye” so I keep it to myself — even though it’s how I feel…

I MIGHT BE!…the problem

Self sabotage, sex!, and selfishness These n****s sure do know how to fake it til they make something turn into nothing. I be feeling like dmx “what these b*****s want from a n****” foreal. I find it to be interesting but unfortunate that I think I might just be the demise of my love life. I was trying to assess why I don’t “trust” men and it was becoming apparent that I block my own POTENTIAL…

Just Finished My 22nd Lap Around The Sun

Intro: I’m making it an annual thing to publish some self realization post to tell what I’ve learned those 365/6 days about myself. At the end it’s suggestive advice if you’d like to skip right to it. 👉🏾👈🏾 On my journey to 23 I found myself Surrendering. I’m giving up in the best way, I’m always hard on myself but for what?! As I went through 2020 I have realized it’s not a correct way to do…

The Gift Of The Gab

I will admit for the last several years I’ve been manipulative. I have always been aware my words are powerful and I’ve been using my abilities to be a passive evil, to myself. As I write this I will say because of this I’ve probably been my own “successful” obstacle for dedicating authentic time to do what I’ll be explaining. Instead of working towards pushing my heartfelt words for what they…

Serenity, Surrendering, Self Esteem

Life sucks sometimes and that’s it!

Yes we could do better but could’ve, should’ve, would’ve. At some point it’s just talk and it’s easier to talk rather than listen.

I had to let my ass hit the ground with open arms recently and it was important to feel how it felt to not be my own saving grace.

What does it mean to surrender? I suppose it’s different for everybody depending on what…

I got a fucked up fetish of enjoying fucking with people.

My whole perception of love is romanticized karmic soul ties, it had nothing to do with self and I want better for myself. I’m bored, I’m tired, I’m selfish, and I don’t give a fuck.

I mentioned before it’s something gratifying about knowing someone don’t like you, or won’t admit it but won’t leave you alone. Very egotistical, I…

Bro. I’m lost in my own sauce! Although in “I’m doing fine.” I was saying how I’m working at my own pace and expectations just allowing things to be. Well, that is true but I’M [as in myself] just feel disconnected from me. I like myself a lot too and I’m like my biggest fan so for me not to be on the same page as what I’m presenting… it’s starting to grind my gears.

https://twitter.com/auntyi…

Successful, Single, and Sad.

Those are the three S’s we will be going over today [I just wanted to approach this humorously dramatic]. Although in all seriousness those are the bases of this post today.

I’ve become one with the idea I’ll be single for life, I know I established this already, but it was still a smidgen of hope that wouldn’t be the case as someone who is willing. I am writing…

I’ve officially outgrown my desire for likes and all that superficial shit because what I put into the world is timeless, it’s enjoyed by those who need to experience it. And that itself I’m thankful for.

I find myself stumbling across opportunities to work with and become friends with people who once inspired me, and that’s because of me as a person and my persistence. I feel like that’s…

I take just about everything personal.

Am I aware some people just do and don’t think? Yes.

Do I keep in mind not everybody has lived the same life as me therefore they might not think the same as me? Absolutely.

So why do I take everything so personally? Because I don’t do without intention and since I am aware of, or at least try to be, I find it to be a direct act against me when some…

Like the title says…

Why can’t I function when I’m not under pressure? I’m being a bit dramatic, I can function but the fact it’s nothing and my craftsmanship is based on ultimately the evolution of something… always happening. When nothing is going on I feel stuck.

I feel bored. I feel like I should be doing something more. I feel like I’m missing something else. It’s nothing to make…

I’m thinking about life and I’m conflicted. I’m stuck between I’m thankful and also feeling like I’m not doing enough. I’ve probably wrote on this before but idk.

It’s different.

You’re probably like “bro something is always different to you”, “you can always ‘feel’ something” but that’s real spill.

I’ll probably write about not doing enough separately but to touch bases i don’t know…