#being ghosted

Until I felt the hole left by your absence

I didn't realise how much I cared

Until there was a chance that you wouldn't be there

— when you forget to message me

The hours slip through my finger tips

Along with the possibility that I will sleep tonight

My head aches

My chest aches

I'm so tired yet my mind refuses to rest

I cannot rest until I know that you are safe

Even if this means that I will never sleep again.

Hollye @hollyethecurious I just wanted to do a little something to wish you a wonderful day. I hope this birthday will be a happy one and ring in a marvelous year for you and yours. I am insanely behind on all of my reading and reviewing for fandom fics, and I hate that I haven't gotten to comment on and sing the praises of several that you have posted recently. You are still one of my very favorite CS authors, and I will be forever grateful for how you have shared your creative gift with all of us over the years - keeping our favorite show alive for us in some small way, even long after it has stopped airing.

While I wasn't able to write you anything, I did create a cover art for one of your WIPs. I haven't gotten caught up on reviewing it yet, but I have read the first two parts, and I am really loving it. I hope you'll accept this little cover art for "Being Ghosted" as a small gift for your special day! I can't wait to see where you'll take the story from here!

Many Blessings and Have Such a Great Day!!!

I don't have a problem with us parting ways, but the way it happened. I think you have no idea how worthless it made me feel. Even though I think I know why you left, I can't help feeling that you found me disgusting, pathetic, clingy and that running away from me was the only way. I don't think I will tell you this - if you don't want to be in touch with me, then I don't want to go against your wishes.

Being ghosted makes you feel guilty, but there's more to life than obsessing over when you'll get that next message. There's people out there who actually want to talk to you, and they're worth talking to.

Maybe I am just paranoid because it happened to me already one time and you know anxiety and high school trauma

But suddenly she is mostly ignoring me. Changing a few words and then leaving the room again. Maybe it is something in her personal live that is completely unrelated to me. It just bothers me because I thought we are friends

She was always so happy how well I am handling her cat. But when I now suggest to come over once I moved out to take care of her cat when she is away over the weekend. Or tell her: „no worry I already had a big playtime with the cat.“ she now seems to mostly ignore me or just brush it off with a nod

Like… maybe something else is keeping her brain busy. But considering that this behavior started when my other roommate refused to give me a new contact for next year… I wonder if something went down I do not know about. If I did something, said something that made them angry. But enough to be ghosting me?!