The Nice Guys - Holland March

06:00 - Hungover 07:00 - Shaving cut 09:50 - Dumb asf, glass cut, profusely bleeding, weak, ambulance, weak, high (drogas) 12:30 - Punched, bloody nose, thrown, kicked, knocked down, left radius fractured, aiaiai scream, arm casted 22:00 - Upset 25:25 - Jumpscare 37:00 - Can't smell 41:50 - Drunk, falls off balcony, rolls down hill, pain, freaks out, nausea 51:00 - Car crash 58:50 - Drinking in misery, passes out 1:05:00 - Berated ((1:06:35) adorable interaction) 1:11:25 - Shaking (scared), screams 1:20:00 - Hallucinating, car crash, screaming 1:24:30 - Shot at, screams (???), freaks out (mishandled gun) 1:35:00 - Held at gunpoint, misinterprets life & dream, 1:39:40 - "Drunk", "crying", falls from roof, hallucinating, freaks out x2, shot at, chased, falls from different roof, hit by car, emotionally happy, limping 1:50:30 - Freaks out (bee)

The Grey Man - Sierra Six

01:00 - Prison 09:10 - Punched multiple times, hit with bar x2, manhandled 26:30 - Betrayed, punched, headbutted, plane torn in half, falling 40:20 - Badass 44:20 - Scars, abusive father 47:00 - Betrayed, falls down well, coughing, bloody mouth, limp 53:30 - Pepper-sprayed, annoyed, jumps out window, limp, held at gunpoint, betrayed-ish, handcuffed, tranquilized 58:00 - Drowsy 1:06:30 - Shot at, knocked back from explosion, held at gunpoint 1:09:40 - Chased by two different groups, hit by car, pain, restrained x2, shot at, caught in the middle of firefight, cornered on train, manhandled, elbowed, jumps off derailing train 1:19:50 - Fake injury 1:20:40 - Hand stabbed, body slammed, pain (obvio), headbutted, punched, kicked into glass, decked, punched, stabbed w/ scissors, wacked with defibrilator x2, shot at, bleeding out 1:25:00 - Bleeding out, bandaging, talks about childhood 1:38:00 - Headbutted, shot at 1:43:00 - Boss fight, punched x6, sliced x6, stabbed x3, drowning x2 (irl/flashback), shot, bleeding out, tired, medevac

Drive - Ryan Gosling

03:00 - Looks tired 15:20 - Car crash stunt 35:00++ - Heartbroken 41:00 - Annoyed 51:30 - Nervous, shot at 59:00 - Annoyed 1:01:00 - Ambushed/betrayed, shot at 1:03:00 - Stitches, angry/sad? 1:05:00 - Angry 1:10:05 - Slapped 1:12:00 - Angry outburst, emotional, betrayed, angry 1:22:00 - Crying 1:26:00 - Car crash 1:29:00 - Sad/scared 1:32:00 - Stabbed, bleeding profusely

Stay - Henry Letham

The whole movie - Suicidal/depressed 1:21:00 - Head bleeding 1:23:00 - Emotional confrontation 1:25:00 - Saddest shit you'll ever see in your entire life

Crazy Stupid Love - Jacob Palmer

1:29:00 - Freaking out, punched, manhandled-ish, tackled by 4 guys

Barbie - Ken (I don't want to watch the movie)

Oh tough one, because I think young Bill Shatner was, on a physical level, like an obnoxiously beautiful man. Like have you seen the Twilight Zone episode he’s in where he and his wife get stuck in that town? The one with the fortune telling machine? I once spent the day after Halloween lying hungover on my friend’s couch with my other friend saying, “He’s so beautiful,” over and over as we watched that and Star Trek. I mean, that caboose alone. I wish there was an emoji for “gesturing with your hands to convey the attractiveness of a celebrity’s ass 60 years ago” because that’s what I’m in need of right now.

Unfortunately, the caboose alone I feel rules him out as Johnny, because I just don’t think Johnny’s butt is all that great. I have to speak my truth here on tumblr dot com. Also, I think I associate this pic of young Bill Shatner and his Twilight Zone costar solely with Flash Thompson and Betty Brant:

Where was the ‘60s Spider-Man TV series so I could enjoy it in the present day.

So I’m going with Chris Pine partly because I feel he’s like, very talented at getting whumped in movies he’s in, which is the kind of energy we should be bringing to Johnny on the silver screen -- what is the Fantastic Four fic LIKE in the alternate universe where Chris Pine got cast instead of Chris Evans -- and he looks pretty when he’s beaten up which is like. I’m not complaining. But also I would like to point to exhibit B, colloquially known on the internet as the “desert hooker photoshoot”:

he mastered the emotional bottle

1x01 (Lightly) hit x5, PTSD/'acting strange', nightmare 1x02 Angry x2, PTSD, nightmare, heartbroken 1x03 PTSD, nightmare x2, crying 1x05 Manhandled/beat, choked, PTSD, wanted 1x06 Shot, extreme pain, bandaged/bloody, heartbroken

2x01 Beaten bloody, mouth carved/tooth removed, unconscious 2x02 Unconscious, hospitalized, pinned, choked, much pain, fever, bloody nose, manhandled, heartbroken 2x03 Choked, hunted/protected 2x04 Slapped, bleeding 2x06 Manhandled, punched x3, EYE, abducted, trips, angry

3x01 Angry/scared 3x02 Worried 3x03 Mourning (depressed, angry) 3x04 Slapped, beaten, skull fractured, worsening bleeding, weak, kicked unconscious, drugged, MUCHO pain, throws up, fever, collapses, blind, passes out 3x05 Hospitalzied, weak, upset, emotional, choked 3x06 Panic, comforted, paranoid, crying

4x02 Emotional pain 4x05 Hunted, police brutality 4x06 Angry, comforted, shot, PTSD, nightmare, drunken mess, bleeding, emotional, denial

5x01 Emotional, suicidal instinct, hallucinating 5x02 Suicidal (landmine), paranoid (Michael) 5x03 Hallucinating 5x04 Grace nightmare, suicidal thoughts x2, hallucinating, scared/emotional 5x05 Comforted, hallucinating 5x06 Panic, angry, betrayed x2, hallucinating, suicidal