Born to Scurry

minos was such a pussy. if my wife gave birth to an epic minotaur baby i wouldn't have locked him in a labyrinth. i would have taken him to the mcdonalds play place (athens) every day and let him eat as many stray mcnuggets (athenians) off the floor as he wanted. i love you hungry son

(pulling a painted vase out of my wallet) and this is my youngest at his first nose ring fitting. isn't he handsome

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this

A cautionary tale about the growing literacy crisis

this is so sad he doesn’t even know there’s a double barreled shotgun pointed at him

Pacific spiny lumpsucker (Eumicrotremus orbis)

my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella

Shout out to the phrase “I’m going to become the joker” for capturing a very specific and real emotion