now more than ever, we are full of blood and honey

i assumed this was porn

every time you make art of any kind, a stat that is not visible to the player goes up. also, this is the most important stat in the game

does singing in the shower count as art

does a strong as fuck ice mummy have ice powers

Please take my white ass to anor londo

*grabs you with my long gargoyle-like arms and flies off witj you*

Oh thank god hold me tight you scary motherfucker

I'm sure all my settings are set to "yes show me mature content no don't filter anything" what are you TALKING ABOUT

the posts are ON THE WEBSITE. I can't search dirty words?? am I five??? is this club penguin??? when I get you

just so you know, if you completely ignore the search feature on the website and just type "tumblr.com/search/term" into the address bar, it bypasses all of this. broken-ass website

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

Are vampires allowed to go to blood drives or are they banned due to the anal sex thing

…they do that?

yes, vampires are ravenous sodomites

I don't understand how cis people obsessed with gender norms think trans people are the weird ones. they're going around believing that your name has to correlate to your genitals. your fashion has to correlate to your genitals. your behaviours have to correlate to your genitals. your hobbies have to correlate to your genitals. who you date has to correlate to your genitals. whether you can put sparkles on your eyelids or not has to correlate to your genitals. and then people like me go "hmm. I might not do that. maybe I'll just do what feels fun and okay instead" and they LOSE their MINDS

"fuck marry kill" is a stupid game. First of all, marriage is evil. Secondly, everyone must die.

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.

When I was a little boy, girls used to just do random cartwheels for no reason. Then one day, they stopped. Now that I am a man, no women randomly do cartwheels. This is because society is evil and killed the cartwheel impulse in their soul. They don't even spin horizontally anymore. It's fucked up.