listen, everything about this reply is 100% true
but this is the least persuasive thing to say if we elder gays want actual solidarity
don't fool yourselves into believing the middle-class gays aren't thinking the same thing! because first of all it's a practical question. the people passing horrible legislation are in legislatures, how do we get taken seriously if someone shows in full drag to a legislative session? yes, the cringe part is thudding-stupid, but it's rooted in a *real question* which we are not taking seriously at all
oh yeah, let's throw away the actual question of how do we make traction if the world doesn't take us seriously. there are so many layers of sophistication to tackling that, including wholly practical political strategies. but sure let's miss that point totally
second of all, we elder gays are NOT acknowledging the vast swathes of young people who are in the midst of cult indoctrination
they are not only functionally illiterate, their oppressors keep them functionally illiterate
they are not only emotionally stunted, their oppressors keep them emotionally stunted
do you honestly think they can sneak to the corner shop without being tracked by their phone or their car or their key fob?? how do you think they're going to go to a drag show or attend pride? they're probably sneaking onto freakin pinterest just to look at pictures of queens
yes, your response is valid
it's also a fucking useless turn-off that will just drive them back to indoctrination
because the key here is that in a world of strict hierarchy, appearance is reality
and drag queens do look like clowns. you can sit back and discuss how the two cultures have similarities but in their world, a clown is a clown is a clown
anyone wearing a mask is suspect. how the fuck do you think we got so many anti-maskers?!? did you miss that about the pandemic? a mask is a mask is a mask
some things are costumes and some things are not, and did you miss how oppressors brand anything not patriarchal white-supremacist as costume, from indigenous regalia to leather jackets to freakin' safety pins?? darlings, they get blowback for *coloring their hair*, how blind are you to miss this??
young gays are by and large not free of this
they are financially and materially dependent on this world
and when you drag their question and their visible anxieties by implying they are missing some key component of being human,
and then fail to explain how that component works to someone who has never fucking reframed a thing in their lives because they're punished for doing that ?
no fucking wonder young gays run the fuck away from us.
someone came up to you and voiced their anxieties ! holy shit, that was your response? they're never coming back to you again! we show our gay asses, that we've never actually conversed with young people, that we've never unraveled emotionally and experientially immature wording
this isn't tone-policing. this is the practical observation that that you're going to lose your chance at solidarity if you can't talk to the old narrrow-minded fool who asks an offensive question and gives you a wide-open door to unravel and un-know some of his bigotry. yes of course keep yourself *safe*
but against our own kids? what kind of fucking family is this, then?!?
naturally we fail to take that opening with much more flexible queer youth. we alienate them the moment we snap our fingers. ha ha, you got notes, aren't you clever. yeah, well you just lost the kids in the middle of a horror movie, are you glad? do you feel better about defending your queer history?
and then you made it like you're going to give up on them on the spot?!?!?!!!!!
the oppressors love that!!!
because you do not understand that they do not understand how the knee-jerk reactions of punk-coded petty gay clapbacks work. they're still at the stage of believing that all aliases are insincere and dishonest, how do you think they're handling sarcasm?
you want to teach history, then roll that shit back, back to the basics. to how masks function not only theatrically but how theatericality projects the emotions that can't be fully externalized otherwise. how anonymity can protect. how pain and grief can turn into joy. how power dynamics are games; hell, how games and playing work in the first place, these kids aren't allowed to go on playgrounds unsupervised
they do NOT KNOW THESE THINGS. they have never tasted catharsis in their lives, they've heard about it on tiktok somewhere before the algorithm buried it
you cannot just say: "you're imitating our oppressors" and then they say "well what are we supposed to say then?" and your answer is "i don't know be more human instead of acting like a fucking cunt" and then act like you're not the villain origin story here
you can't go and warn youths about _forces trying to divide us_ by saying the most fucking divisive shit in the most condescending way that would have made you go fucking feral when you were a teenager
we lecture so much about systemic oppression, then we fucking turn our backs on its youngest victims! our own baby gays!
yes it's so complicated reaching in and taking every question in good faith and trying to detangle someone else's distorted world-view. yes it's demeaning to be dealing with so much ill-intent. fuck you, did you think it was easy? does it actually matter if they're trolls? answer like you're the gay auntie they need! answer like you're the queer daddy who'll open the fucking door to warmth and laughter and hope instead of slamming it on their fingertips!
sometimes it's not about you!
sometimes you have to stick your hand in the cage and unlock it from the inside
we old-ass bifocal-wearing queers need to get serious about de-programming efforts, which takes a ton of empathy and about 700% less bitchy defensiveness.
because who else is going to do it? we're the fucking elders. fucking act like it, and teach them the shit they need to survive *their world*