mudamudamuda

ღ Heartbeat, all my conditions are in crisis ღ

I did it… I really need so bad to do it. And so… here to you.

So fun to do it!

No tie for Connor, I changed my original idea. The reason: I imagined this “buddy cops tv show” (guess what show in particular inspired me…?) after the “good ending” >>>>> spoiler >>>> when Connor is deviant in the end (also in the final scene with Hank, or with the free androids… if I remember well), is without the tie (not in the tower, obviously, but after). And after the good end, androids are considered just like humans, so no “android” on the jacket. Now, he just want to be a real cop with his partner Hank. I just left the LED on the head because is super cool and important for the character. Maybe is just a stupid thing… sorry for my English. I hope you like it!

My Mom: no, I’m ugly. The ugliest. I’m a horrible pig of a person

Other people: (to me) you look just like your mom

Me: so I’m ugly

Now:

My 9 year old: mom you’re beautiful

Me: thank you! I don’t always see it very well in myself though because my brain lies to me a lot and tells me I’m ugly even though I’m not. But I can’t be ugly because we look a lot alike and you’re beautiful. My brain is just a bully 

My kid: that’s right! We’re BOTH beautiful!

​Me:​ yes we are!​​​

_____

And that my friends is called thinking about how your self depricating words can hurt other people around you. I can’t see that I’m beautiful most of the time but I can acknowledge that the issue is my ability to see myself in a positive way. 

But calling myself ugly just hurts the people who love me. It could even convince my kid that they are also ugly and further the cycle 

Me, internally: ouch

Me, out loud: “well, yeah! Because I am chubby! But also because I grew TWO WHOLE BABIES in it, and that stretched it out a bit!”

My daughter, in the most encouraging tone possible as she reaches up and pets my belly: “it did SUCH a good job.”

Me, internally: also ouch

Me, out loud: because that’s how my body loves me. Fat is your body saving energy for later, so my body wants to make sure I’ll be okay later. Your body wants you to use more energy right now to play hard and have fun, that’s how your body loves you.