I’m everywhere I’m so Ilya

i can understand the trials but were the tribulations really necessary

very important that ilya is silly. yes he’s also king shit of fuck mountain but the silliness is key

oh im ilya rozanov and it’s my birthday and my husband is the sexiest man in the nhl and we love each other so much it’s scary and we have the sweetest most freakiest sex all the time and we have a dog and we’re rich as fuck girl fuck you!!!

the first birthday where shane gets ilya a cake and presents he worries he did something wrong because ilya freezes and then is like “what is this? “and shane is like “it’s your birthday?” and ilya is like “you remembered this?” and shane is like “well obviously i remembered your birthday?” and ilya is staring and shane is like “sorry do you not like it i can exchange it for—” but then ilya is crying big boo hoo tears. the second birthday ilya spends the entire week being a bossy bratty little bitch. hollander you must come swimming it is my birthday. hollander you have to come dancing it is my birthday. hollander you need to wear that blue mesh shirt it is my birthdayyyyyyy.

happy birthday ilya i hope u enjoy ur full day of free use shane at the cottage and fuck him nasty style on every available surface