You know the rest is up to you

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

what? oh sweetheart no, you're not weirding me out at all. you're weirding me in. keep talking, freak

i actually get a bit annoyed with people who get a bit annoyed when people say “sorry” in response to their bad news. “why are you apologizing you didn’t do anything :/” like okay well a) you don’t know that and actually yes i am the secret architect of all your woes and have been this whole time, way to refuse to acknowledge a woman (gender neutral)’s accomplishments. and b) we’re both fluent english speakers so you know perfectly well that “sorry” isn’t always an apology and is very commonly used as an expression of general regret or sympathy. not in this case, because i have been your secret nemesis for years, meticulously plotting your every misery, but, like, in general

I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna do the dishes!

I did it! It sucked but I did it!

are you sure, op? Please define why this is a pipe, I am sceptique

I didn't say that it was a pipe, just that I'm calling it one

i was gonna say it Does have a tail thats what the cord is thats why its called a mouse!!!! and then i remembered most mouses are cordless now and got fucked up bc IT IS A HAMSTER and now immfucked up bc like. technology has advanced so must thay mice have changed species

it matters to me that you all know i was wizard high when i wrote that

I love the hamster mice but I think we need to discuss the term “wizard high,” something I have never heard before but is incredibly evocative

baby dragons whose scales are much more shiny and iridescent in order to hide in their parents' hoards

absolutely excellent top-notch thought here, but now you've got me wondering what's trying to eat them

Perhaps the shininess also makes them more endearing to adult dragons, increasing the likelihood of adoption if something happens to mama.

maybe dragons collect hoards to camouflage their babies