someone else

tw: death, murder, pregnancy, kidnapping

At the knock on his door, Edgar rushed to greet Violet, smiling down at her as he let her in. While he knew he couldn’t expect her to come to the party, that sometimes she just couldn’t do the things he wanted, he couldn’t help but feel the disappointment when she didn’t show up. The little, anxious part of his mind told him that perhaps he pushed it too far on the night before Valentine’s, asking her to dance. It was too much, and whatever tentative friendship they’d managed to maintain, couldn’t risk that confusion again. 

But then she called, and all stress melted away, leaving him with more time with his friend. “Don’t worry about it,” he brushed away her apologies, like he always did, and let her into his space, “you haven’t been here in a while, have ya? Weird,” hurriedly pushing papers together and cleaning up the surfaces, it dawned on Ed how nervous he was to have her back in his tiny apartment. It felt too familiar. “Can I get you anything to drink?” He stepped towards the fridge, pulling open the door, frowning at the empty contents of the shelves, “we have… uh, water, water and more water.”

it wasn’t until violet stepped inside that she realised how long it had been since she had been here. in many ways, this had been another home to her for so, so many years. how many times had they danced in his little kitchen? bumping into draws and knocking bowls of benches? or curling up on the floor underneath a blanket fort because that was what mature adults did? it felt like a lifetime since they had done any of those things.

she put her bag down, hand immediately going to adjusting her overalls. maybe she could have dressed up a little more? “water would be perfect.” it was beautiful really, seeing him in his own space again. it was small, but the small things meant even more these days. “thank you well, letting me come over.” now, she was well aware she should have said happy birthday by now and it really shouldn’t be so hard but it was. once again, it was a small thing but she wanted that to be perfect too.

her plan for his actual birthday consisted of two parts. one, makeup for saturday. two, and this was the important one, celebrate edgar. today was is and she wanted him to have everything.

so there she was, with her version of everything, a homemade cake and a small gift that she hoped meant signified all of the things that didn’t have words. oh, and a smile. that’s the important thing. it took a few moments for her to actually get the courage to knock on his door. what if he didn’t like his gift? or the cake? or what if she just made what was supposed to be a happy day, sad? however, before such thoughts could turn her away, she knocked on his door. “edgar? i’m a bit late i know, but i’m here.” @edgarmendoza​

…

sometimes there were moments where Ed felt he was pushing Violet too far out of her comfort zone, like he’d see her making an effort and try to take it one step further. He steeled himself for that now, for her to shutdown once more and tell him no… but she didn’t. Surprisingly, he found her hand in his as he lead them to dance floor, glancing down at his friend with a nervous smile. Ed hadn’t prepared himself for what he’d do if she said yes. “I guess we, uh-” he stepped closer to her, placing a hand on her hip as he had many times before, “it’s been awhile, huh?” Ed joked, knowing she could probably see how nervous he was being this close to her again

.

the ability to say yes, to go with something she had once enjoyed was a skill that violet struggled to find most of the time. so, it was nice to search for a yes and find it there. even if the only thing she accomplished today was seeing edgar and saying yes to a drink and a dance, then she would be okay with it. she let him lead her to the dance floor, unable to shake the feeling of familiarity of this. there were at the albion instead of a kitchen, but the act of dancing together was one of the things she had missed the most. she rested a hand on his shoulder and tried not to show how nervous she was. it wasn’t bad nerves though. it was the kind of nerves that came with doing something one loved but hadn’t done in a long time. the kind of nerves that came with the fear of screwing this up. “better late than never i suppose.” she tried not to think about the fact that it had been because of her that it had been such a long time. god, he was so close. the last time he’d been this close- well, that memory was particularly hard to forget.

…

Trying. That was the hill Edgar would die on, in all his arguments with his friends, the biggest thing he had to say for Violet was that she was trying. Maybe it didn’t look the same every day, and it was hard to understand, but her trying was more than enough for him. It had brought her here, even if just for the night. “I can take that,” he breathed heavily, “guess we make the most of the time we have then?” If this was the last good day for a while, Ed was prepared to squeeze every last drop of it. He held out his hand to her, incredibly earnest expression on his face as he did so, “do you wanna dance?”

.

violet felt as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. she had been so scared that he would deem her efforts not enough. that he’d be disappointed that this wasn’t how she was always going to be. the idea of edgar being disappointed in her was one she couldn’t bare. his simple acceptance of the way things were almost made her want to burst into tears. not the tears she cried most days but tears of relief. however, she didn’t do such a thing and instead she just took in a deep breath and took his hand. “i’d love too.” she paused and looked at their hands, joined now. “thank you.” she didn’t say what for but she knew that he’d understand.

…

“Guess I owe Sunny one, huh?” Every word he spoke was said low and hesitantly, as though if he were too loud, or made any sudden movements, he’d scared the woman away again. “But, it’s not just her though, you always do.” Ed didn’t want to take away from Violet’s efforts, as much as she wanted to redirect the praise onto Sunny. He knew there was something in Violet that chose to come today, even with all the encouragement she got. As Edgar sipped on his beer, his eyes nervously flicking to Violet’s face, a question tore him up inside. His mind, screaming at him to protect his heart from being crushed again. “So… things are good again?” His fingers tapped nervously on the glass, “I mean, how are you feeling now?”

.

“yeah, i owe her many really.” violet’s smile was bashful as she struggled to accept the compliment. it had never been something she had been especially good at, let alone now. “but, uh, thankyou.” it felt like there were butterflies in her stomach, flying around and refusing to let her ignore them. in some way, she didn’t quite feel as if she deserved his compliments yet, as if she still had work to do until she felt as if they were justified. of course, that wasn’t true but that was the thing was the mind, it usually had its own truth. she sipped on her drink, looking away again at his question. “good is a tricky word. tonight i’m good. tommorow, i may not be. i’m trying to take it day by day” she admitted softly. trying. that was the key to all of this. she had no idea how long this moment would last or even this feeling of even being able to get out of bed but she was trying to cope with it. tonight, she was proud of that.

It was hard, giving Violet so much confidence, when sometimes Sunny didn’t have all that much of her own. But then again, the more she spoke with Violet, the more she hyped her friend up, the better she started to feel. Confidence and self-love could be contagious, at least, sometimes. “One cocktail, coming up.” Sunny turned to the bar, getting a drink for Violet, too. After a few minutes, she returned, drink in hand, offering it over to her friend. “Sweet, just like tonight’s gonna be. – Speaking of, anyone catch your eye yet? Anyone making your heart flutter right out of your chest?”

.

violet wanted to do something for sunny. something that would tell the younger woman that violet appreciated her, that she understood what she did for her. maybe it would ease the uncomfortable feeling that settled in her stomach whenever she asked for assistance. “thanks, i’ll get you your next one.”  taking a sip, she almost choked on it at sunny’s question. clearing her throat a few times, she shook her head. “i’m not really here for that, i’m just here to watch edgar” she replied with a small, slightly bashful smile. in a way, she’d had answered the question properly anyway as there wasn’t anyone that made her heart flutter like edgar did.

…

How was he possibly supposed to remember that it wasn’t always like this? The light in Violet’s face, the content hum in his heart, were they enough to drown out the  bad dasy? The ones when Violet barely communicated with him? At her words, Ed paused, heart panging, smiling as he looked down at her. God, he had so much hope. “Maybe it is,” he mused, shooting her a look of mischief and earnestness, rolled into one, “I kinda hope we don’t wake up.”

Hope carried him all the way to the bar, carried him as he ordered their drinks, as he glanced down shyly at the woman he waited months, possibly years for. He was a fool, obviously, for thinking it would stay this way. But the boy was so damn desperate for good things in his life, he grasped onto what he had desperately. “You look really beautiful,” he spoke, walls dropped completely as the bartender handed him their drinks, “i dunno if you realise how much it means to me that you came.”

.

violet’s eyes flicked back to him for a moment. “same,” she agreed softly, a ghost of a smile playing on her lips. there was a sadness behind it, sadness for the fact that this moment would soon be lost, that this moment wasn’t their normal. the thing was, sadness would most like accompany her for the rest of her life but as long as it wasn’t alone then maybe it was okay. like this moment right here, that sadness wasn’t gone but for once it was overshadowed by her joy and by god was she proud of that.

her cheeks heated up again at the compliment and an embarrassed laugh escaped her lips. briefly she filled time by taking her drink and having a sip as she tried to find the words to respond. “thank you. it was uh, sunny’s work mostly.” at his words, the rest of the world went quiet, like nothing existed but him and her. “i wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” 

…

“Alright… let me know what I can do to help,” he held her gaze, wholeheartedly believing that Violet was trying. How could Iain not see that himself?  “and thank you, for my something. I dunno, I just never expected to see you here? I sorta feel like I’m dreaming.” As they walked alongside each other, it almost felt like it was a night from years ago, before the distance between them had grown. Even being teased by her had him grinning, “yeah, free ones. I’m kind of a big deal,” he joked, dramatically running his hand through his hair, buzzing off the high of performing and her showing up. As they reached the bar, Ed turned to her, relishing the simplicity of it all. Things were good. “What do ya want?” he flashed another grin and his drink tickets, “it’s on me.”

.

edgar looked beautiful. his eyes bright, the familiar lighting of the albion shining behind him as if everything was for him. she had almost forgotten this. what he was like on stage and in the moments following. standing here now, with him, she couldn’t imagine ever forgetting such a thing. “being here feels like a dream” she admitted softly. instead of the sad smile that accompanied most of her words, it was one that felt like of the dream. small but brilliant and only for him in this moment. 

“clearly” she responded, almost laughing. her joy turned outwards as she walked with him to the bar. this, the walking and the easing, was something so smile that really it shouldn’t have met anything. but it meant everything.it was the simplicity that made it so special. her whole weird felt so messy but not this. “a white one if that’s okay” she answered, looking away briefly. she felt all shy suddenly, like this was a first date and being able to see him like this felt too good to be true.

sunny never would quite understand why Violet didn’t see herself as the absolute stunner that she was. It seemed like she needed some extra convincing – which Sunny was happy to provide, even if she had a hard time seeing why Violet was so hesitant to put herself out there, even just for one night. “Good! I’d hate for you to feel like anyone else,” she joked. “Do you want something to drink? Loosen you up a bit? My treat, obviously.”

one of the many things violet hadn’t expected to lose in her grief was her self image. she looked at herself and saw something distorted, something she didn’t always recognise. it was on the list of reasons why she had wanted sunny with her. if anyone could get rid of a bit of the distortion, it was the blonde beside her. it had worked a little even. enough so she was happy with how she looked and maybe even a little proud to be seen.

if only she could bottle up this feeling and save it for a bad day.

“maybe a cocktail if that’s alright. something sweet please” she responded, mentally ticking off something else on her ‘ways to enjoy parties’ list. it was bit silly, she knew that, but it made her feel like she was doing something right.

“I dunno, there’s a lotta other people here that care about you, too” the conversation with Iain was still at the forefront of his mind, with Edgar unsure whether to bring it up. Talking with her now, their bubble so shiny and bright, he didn’t want to burst it just yet. 

The words she’s here rang through his mind on repeat, making it impossible not to smile back at her, to duck his head as she complimented the band. Hope was a dangerous thing, and here Violet was, giving Edgar buckets of it. “Well, thank you, I’m glad you’re here… really. I didn’t think you’d…have the time.” Shoving his hands in his pockets if just to stop himself from reaching out to her, Ed glanced over at the bar, “Wanna get a drink? I get a few free ones with the band.”

.

violet paused for a moment. “i know and i will something for each of them. i don’t know what, but it’ll something. this is your something” she admitted, now a little softer. she shook her head. “i always used to watch you and well i- i wanted to watch you tonight. it just took some planning is all.” 

his smile was enough to bring one back to her own face. whatever happened after this night, at least she had this night. they had this night. that had to count for something right. “free ones? free drinks are one more step in the direction of superstardom” she responded, a slight teasing lilt to her voice, “but, yes, i’d love that.” her hands gripped onto the sides of her long skirt, swinging them slightly. it was all to keep her hands busy, to keep her them from reaching out and grabbing onto one of edgar’s.

…

Though Violet was standing in front of him, smiling at him, Edgar still couldn’t quite believe she was there. He couldn’t reconcile the woman before him with the woman who’d been stuck in bed for weeks, the one he’d had fights with his friends over. Now, seeing her, fighting on her behalf almost felt justified. Seeing Violet at the party, seeing her try. 

“Yeah? To see me, really?” His smile never left his face as he looked down at her, but a wave of self consciousness washing over him. She’d watched him perform. Ed ran a nervous hand through his hair, “what’d ya think? Uh, it wasn’t our best, I stuffed up a few bits… bit rusty… you should’ve told me you were coming, I would’ve. .. we would’ve… done better.”

.

violet nodded. “of course. why else would i come?” she said it as if getting here had been easy. as if she hadn’t needed to talk herself into it everyday, writing down every reason why going was a good idea. as if she hadn’t gotten sunshine to stay with her because she had been so scared that if she had been left alone, she would find a reason to simply crawl back into bed. she knew that after tonight, she’d probably want to lie down for a week but maybe it would be worth it.

well, edgar was on the list of people who were always worth it.

she shook her head, smile still on her lips. “no, no! you were wonderful sweetheart, absolutely wonderful and anyway, that would have ruined the surprise.” this was why she had done it. just to see him smile at her, to make him happy rather then sad.

closed// @violetk​

As the crowd cheered and friends clapped him on the back, Edgar only had eyes for the woman at the back of the room. He didn’t see her until the music stopped, and he was almost sure he was hallucinating. The last time he’d seen Vi, she’d been wrapped up in blankets, immobile. To see her amongst the crowd, at an event, was more hope than Ed knew what to do with. He rushed to her. Pushing through the crowds of friends and fans, almost desperate to see her in case she vanished, Ed finally made it to Violet. “You’re here,” he breathed through a smile, stating the obvious. Though, it were so surreal, she looked better than she had in so long. Maybe he was dreaming? “You came?”

.

violet couldn’t remember the last time she had seen edgar perform. not properly anyway. not like this, in front of an audience. it felt like she had stepped into another world. the fact that she was even here felt like something she would have done in another world. yet, that wasn’t true. this was this world and she was dressed to impress. how long had it been since such a moment like this had happened? 

she clapped her hands as they finished, smiling brighter then she had in what felt like years. her plan had been simply to wait until he had a moment free for her. she never expected him to come right towards her, looking like an absolute dream. her smile turned bashful and she toyed with the ends of her sleeves. “i did. i, uh, i planned for it,” she paused, “i want to see you perform.”

Violet deserved to have a nice night. They all did, really. But if anyone needed something good to happen, out of everyone in the entire city, Sunny would’ve definitely said it was Violet. “Are you talking to me?” she asked, taking a moment to look around and start scanning the room. “Because that’s exactly the kind of pep talk you should start giving yourself. You look bomb, and I’m not just saying that because I pretty much did your entire look, myself.”

violet’s cheeks heated up at the compliment and she ducked her head. “oh love, you’re too kind. but yes, i- thankyou. really. i feel very...” she trailed off a little bit, trying to find the right word to describe whatever it was she was feeling that night. how sunny had already made her feel. “a bit more me, i suppose.” she might not have been certain who that was anymore, but she knew that she had something that night. something she didn’t have most days. it was all she wanted really, to feel something tonight. almost to prove that she still could. even if only sometimes.

Sunny was already a bit tired, and the party had only just begun. She’d spent the past few hours with Violet, trying to help her get ready for the event… and to calm the woman’s nerves. She didn’t really mind all that much. But it became clear once she arrived that she’d spent more of her energy than she’d originally intended. She headed straight for the bar and ordered herself a vodka cranberry – a pinkish drink for a Valentine’s themed party. Green bracelet on her wrist, she took a long sip, hoping that it would give her the liquid energy that she needed to be back on top of her game.

@codstarters​

violet had been determined to show up to the event, for no other reason then to see edgar play. she’d built her whole week around being able to do so and she wasn’t sure she would have managed without sunny. it was the blonde that stayed at hers the past two nights, that helped her get ready dress up like she hadn’t done for what felt like years. she’d almost forgotten how. or maybe she just didn’t have the energy. either way it was because of the blonde beside her that she was here and that she was actually enjoying herself. somewhat. much like the sun itself, sunny had brightened her up. “you’ll be fine sweetheart, you look stunning. nobody will be able to resist” she told her, hoping to give her even a smidgen of the reassurance she had been given for the past few days.

Sunny shrugged. “It is, but it isn’t, ya know? Sometimes I feel like they’re watching everything I do, even though that literally doesn’t make any sense. And other times, I feel like I don’t see them for weeks. It’s weird.” She’d spent so long living away from her family, and now that they were all in one place, she wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it at all. So instead of focusing on her siblings, she focused on the person in front of her. Surely Violet had plenty to talk about of her own. “Thank you. I was gonna help out anyway, whether you let me or not. It’s just easier if you agree beforehand. Seriously, though. Are you okay? Because if you need to take a break and just… breathe, or talk about things… you know you can tell me, right? Hell, I’m in grad school for psychology, I’m bound to know something that can help.”

“at least they’re around if you need them though.” family was complicated, that violet understood. she wasn’t quite sure what it was like being so far away from them however as she never really had been. before now, really. anyway. she shoved her hands in the pockets of her mum jeans, looking away from sunshine because god she knew what was coming. her reflex was to deny it. to keep her shame and her grief to herself because it felt easier. in a way. in other ways it was harder. so, so much harder. it took her a few moments to speak again. it was almost as if she had to physically grab the words from inside her and yank them out of her. “adam left. just after new years. i’m not handling it well.” simple. brief. lacking of all the flowery visual and words her speech tended to take. yet, it was something. one small step for violet.