It's finally here and finally (kinda) formatted! Everything has a gender-neutral reader unless otherwise specified, and bodily descriptions are avoided at all costs. Longer lists are hyperlinked. Enjoy!
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Jim Henson’s The Storyteller | A Story Short
I found myself in a sorry state, thrown to the ground in front of the court while the beetroot Cook, hand smarting, temper erupting in spits of bile, recounted my mischief to the King. A man with a full stomach can bear a great deal. I wasn’t listening to them. I was listening to the sweet gurgles of my digestion. I then realised someone was speaking to me. “What’s your trade, fool?” demanded the Cook. “It can be scratched on your gravestone.” I didn’t much like the sound of this.
Hi Bonsoir!! I hope you’re doing well! May I request some more Johnny Utah and reader friendship headcanons? I love this dude so much he’s so silly :,)
Being Friends with Johnny Utah Would Include...
He's so adorable I bet I could suplex him-HI SPOOKY I hope you're well too :D
Divider by @/dividers-are-us
Has an oddly expansive memory for things he deems "important." Couldn't tell you anything about what's wrong with his car or how to fix that weird whining thing your washer's doing, but he can recite penal codes on command and make strawberry rhubarb pie without a recipe.
Doesn't matter what kind of assignment he's on, he's available any time. You could call him at two in the morning your time or his time and he'd still answer halfway through the second ring with a very peppy, "Yo!"
Everything counts as "hanging out" to him. He'll sit on your kitchen counter and watch while you clean (of course he'll offer to help, but if you refuse and tell him to go home so he isn't bored, he'll just find a spot and plant himself in it). He'll drive you to the airport at some ridiculous time in the morning and walk all of the way through TSA, get coffee, and yap at you until you have to board your plane. He'll go to the DMV with you and sit in those uncomfortable plastic chairs for an hour and still be chipper as ever by the time you're called to the counter.
"Is this your partner?"
"Oh, no," Johnny chirps with a grin, shoving his hands deep into his jean pockets and rocking forward onto the balls of his feet, "I'm just here to hang."
The man behind the counter frowns confusedly- more to himself than to either of you- and opens his mouth to ask another question before he seems to think better of it. He shakes his head and sighs through his nose while he processes all of your forms, and when the two of you are finally free to leave, he mutters, "Have fun... doin' whatever else you're doin' today."
Strangers assume that he's a bit of an airhead due his age, but whenever you're in trouble or struggling with an emotional problem, he's the first person you go to. His moral compass is the soundest out of everyone you know, and he's never been afraid to give you an honest opinion, though his black and white way of thinking results in answers that seem harsh at times. He expects the same of you. Tell him when he's being too stubborn, tell him when he's in the wrong and when his actions are justified, guide him in the right direction.
Oddly enough, you're the first person he goes to when he needs to do something questionable for work. He often calls on you for help constructing a cover story. Whether it's on the phone or in person, he'll run idea after idea by you until something sticks.
"Okay. What if..." He pauses, and the open phone line seems to crackle with anticipation in that silence before his words come out in a jumbled rush, "What if my dad died in a really messed up combine accident, and-"
"Are you trying to be relatable," You deadpan, wedging the phone between your ear and your shoulder while you work, "Or some kind of novelty horror case?"
"But it's gotta be tragic, or me moving into the village won't make any sense!"
"You remember that movie, uh..." You pause, waving your hand while you think, though Johnny can't see it through the phone, "Witness?"
"Yeah!" He hopefully chirps.
"This isn't it."
He's so excited to teach you how to surf after he moves to California. If you want to learn, he'll do his best to explain it to you, but he isn't very good at it yet, and he's... not the best teacher. Have you seen this guy? This is what Johnny sounds like trying to explain the logistics of surfing to you.
If you don't want to learn, but you're still willing to spend time at the beach while he practices, he's still ecstatic. Expect to spend hours in the water or on the sand, laughing the day away while you watch him tumble through wipeout after wipeout. On that note...
One of those people who, more often than not, gives up if their first try at something isn't perfect. The academy ironed some of that out of him (it's difficult to keep that mindset when everyone around you adheres to the "C's get degrees" motto and you're the only one raging about getting anything less than an A) but he still takes a lot of failures to heart and needs a pep talk now and then.
You have to take the lead whenever the two of you go to a crowded place, a market, a convention, etc.. Otherwise, he'll stop dead in his tracks when he sees something interesting, and you'll end up plowing into him. Get used to the weight of his hand on the back of your shirt, your backpack straps, or your belt loops. He'll wander off like a distractible dog if he isn't anchored to you somehow. But he can remember the entire city grid, and it doesn't matter how obscure the landmark is, if you mention it, he knows exactly where it is.
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Tags: Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Gardens & Gardening, Tea, Tea Parties, Fluff and Humor, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Banter. Morning Kisses, Spring/Summer, Early Mornings, Gender-Neutral Reader-Insert, No Use of Y/N for Reader-Insert, Short One Shot
Summary: Your garden transforms into your own little slice of paradise, courtesy of the famous Storyteller.
A/N: knock i love you please keep sending me reqs for cute old men
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will likely take a while to organize due to life and time constraints but... interest check... who would want to participate in / submit to a potential lance henriksen fanzine... it's a project i've wanted to do for a few months now but i get nervous organizing community things 🥀 i don't want to miss the opportunity to make it a collective fan thing though & it feels weird only including stuff i've written + drawn + etc.
i think i would likely separate it out into a front section containing an intro / primer to lance, his background + films + art, maybe a few spreads on his most recognizable roles and then some of his underrated / lesser known roles, then the back portion can be made up of fan submissions? i have an idea for like... one-page reviews of random movies / characters (can be funny or sincere), weird images we've made for him (butchfemme chart lol amongst other things), then there can be an art section, shortform fic section, etc... hmm but yeah. that's where i've stopped. oh and i'm definitely titling it 'HENRIKZINE'
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