moses @moses-offical - Tumblr Blog

thoughts on burning bushes? @satan-offical

personally i thinks its overkill

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616swanda

every once in a while I wonder why god decided to talk to me through a burning bush. Like shouldn't that be satans thing?

#moses speaks #satan #god

helpmemiku

WHAT HAVE I DONEEE

this isn’t fucking ok

I SWEAR IF I FIND ONE MORE OFFICAL I will gladly follow them! But still

my hubris has blinded me 😔

moses-offical

Hi! Official Moses here!

#moses speaks

its pride month...shout out to the gays (aka me)

#pride month #moses ooc

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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god-offical

We’re switching from helium-based to hydrogen-based flotation to keep Heaven floating in the stratosphere. I’m very excited, we’re even having a huge party by the gasbags, and I heard John is bringing cake and candles for the occasion

moses-offical

can I bring baba ganoush?

#moses speaks

I have been reading over Exodus and it is not just G-d who helped the midwife’s and women, but also their own skill and strength.

Women had to be strong enough to birth their children on their own because they were not given the resources that Egyptian women were given. They had to do this to keep their children alive.

This just goes to show that women are the stronger sex.

This is not a miracle it is the strength of women.

#exodus #moses speaks #bible #torah #torah commentary #jewish #judaism

teaboot

I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor

floating down the river nile as a baby was probably the most relaxed i've ever been. Its similar to being in a hammock or a lazy river

#moses #moses speaks #thoughts #torah #torah commentary #egypt #ancient egypt #jewish #judaism

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