So, I'm gonna make a huge cut here. The reason: due to my social and general anxiety disorder I decided that continuing to study at university might not be the right thing for me at the moment. I decided that last year already and dropped all my courses. I looked for alternatives and found an apprenticeship at a library. In the meantime - while I applied for jobs, new apartment and handled all the bureaucracy around my drop out of uni - I realized, that me leaving uni might have been a try to avoid all the uncomfortable, anxiety-filled moments l had and would have to go through, if I stayed. To realize it so late was kind of disheartening, because I really want to get better and just listened to my anxiety in that moment.
The point is: in order to heal anxiety it's important to not always listen to it and avoid the uncomfortable feelings, but to go through it and continue to learn with it.
But now here I am. I made a decision, but it's not too bad because I didn't see a future for me in the field of Japanology anyway. I should have tried to finish my degree anyway, but f it.
There certainly are some regrets. If I could turn back time I would stick to my first major (German studies) and get more disciplined right away, before starting to switch majors several times.
