mad about feels

“Captain Marvel should smile more” “she looks so serious all the time” “she should smile more” “she’ll look better with a smile”

Aries: you’re about to find yourself. it’s about to be hard, scary, and it almost might seem unbearable. you’re going to reach new highs that you’ve never thought you would, and maybe some new lows that will rock you. but, you’re about to find positivity within all the moments that you have. you’re about to understand yourself and your limits more than ever. you’re going to realize that all the strength you’ve ever needed was always inside of you. all of it was fucking worth it, you’re going to feel all of this.

Taurus: you are going to be in a huge transition period this year. you’re going to find immense change in your own world. it might scare you to your core, but it’s exactly what you needed. new things and new people and a new life. most of all, a totally new perspective. you’re going to open your eyes to so many things and you’re going to realize that things weren’t what you always thought they were… they’re better.

Gemini: you are about to feel free. you’re about to go through a year of letting go. you’re going to let go of people who caused you pain in the past, you’re going to let go of shit that messed you up. you’re going to realize that moving forward is the best thing you can do for yourself. you’ll find things that you enjoy doing again this year. you are going to get out of that fog, but don’t completely cross out what brought you here. it’s still a part of you.

Cancer: what a curse it is, to feel so very deeply. oh, but it is also a blessing. this year is going to give you many awakenings. you’re going to use your empathy to your advantage, you’re going to make a change in many peoples lives. seeing someone so authentic like you, gives other people hope that they can open up too, just like you. you’re going to use the things you find the most unappealing about yourself to help other people. it may seem small to you when it happens, but it’s huge. this, for you, is going to be very fulfilling. don’t forget yourself in the process, but remember that what you’re doing is important.

Leo: in 2018, you were lost. you might’ve hit your breaking point and you might’ve thought there was nothing left in you. however, you were just getting started. this year, you will find your fire again. you’ll stand up taller than you ever have and you’ll roar louder than ever. this year, you’re going to learn that you are stronger than you ever believed yourself to be. you’re going to find your confidence again, you’re going to take on this life thing on your own and make it your absolute bitch. the people who left, don’t matter. you’re not going to let them affect you any longer. you’re going to figure out who was always meant to be by your side.

Virgo: this year, positivity is going to be your best friend. you’re so used to things going wrong or not going your way, that you’ve conditioned yourself to think about the worst possible outcomes. but, what if thinking differently was actually the key to everything? you have the power to change your own mindset, and this year, whether you believe it or not, it’s going to happen. you’re going to be so caught up in living life and being busy that suddenly you’ll realize that you aren’t so afraid of being happy anymore. you will flourish, you will get the things you want. all you have to do is keep on believing.

Libra: your worth is greater and bigger than what you think. this year, you’re going to realize this. at some point, you’re going to look at your life and how you let people take advantage of you and you’re finally going to say “no more.” you are wonderful and capable and worthy of all the things you want. you just have to see it for yourself, you have to see that your life should not be lived based on making people happy that wouldn’t do the same for you. it’s going to be an awakening for you, but it’s going to be beautiful.

Scorpio: you are in the midst of chaos right now. you’re thinking that life is always going to be this whirlwind of emotions and that nothing will ever settle down. this year, you’ll find your safe place. the one you can run to when things are going bad. whether that place be an actual place, a hobby, or even a person. it’s going to bring you peace like you’ve never felt before. remember to hold onto it. you’re going to finally let go of that wall you’ve been holding up forever, don’t be alarmed when it comes crashing down. it’s going to be natural.

Sagittarius: what a year you’re going to have. first and most importantly, pure love is in store. this doesn’t have to mean romantic love, but it sure is a possibility. you’ve been holding back for quite some time when it comes to opening up your heart, but thats going to change now. secondly, when you find this love, you’re going to be faced with your natural instinct, which is to run. when this happens, don’t run. you’ll be missing out on a happiness that you haven’t felt before. learning to open up is one of the most important lessons you’ll learn in this life, you have to let it come.

Capricorn: this year, you’re going to end cutting out people and things that don’t make you happy. this is pure self care and the first step to putting yourself first. you tend to not put your needs first too often. you’re no longer going to let everyone walk all over you. you do everything for other people, and this year will be your selfish year. when you find yourself feeling bad about it, don’t. this is the start of something that always needed to happen, and you’ll find yourself much more peaceful if you run with it.

Aquarius: who you are now, might be a stranger by the end of 2019. but doesn’t it always go that way? maybe, but it’s going to be different from what you imagine. you’re going to become stable in who you are. you’re going to suddenly have an understanding of your place in the world, perhaps you might find your purpose. it’s going to come so fast and naturally, that you’re going to question what your world was before this reason for living came along. remember that this is happening for a reason, you are meant to do great things and you’re about to see what all of this means.

So. Here’s the thing. Given a cursory glance and applying today’s worldview to the song, yes, you’re right, it absolutely *sounds* like a rape anthem. 

BUT! Let’s look closer! 

“Hey what’s in this drink” was a stock joke at the time, and the punchline was invariably that there’s actually pretty much nothing in the drink, not even a significant amount of alcohol.

See, this woman is staying late, unchaperoned, at a dude’s house. In the 1940’s, that’s the kind of thing Good Girls aren’t supposed to do — and she wants people to think she’s a good girl. The woman in the song says outright, multiple times, that what other people will think of her staying is what she’s really concerned about: “the neighbors might think,” “my maiden aunt’s mind is vicious,” “there’s bound to be talk tomorrow.” But she’s having a really good time, and she wants to stay, and so she is excusing her uncharacteristically bold behavior (either to the guy or to herself) by blaming it on the drink — unaware that the drink is actually really weak, maybe not even alcoholic at all. That’s the joke. That is the standard joke that’s going on when a woman in media from the early-to-mid 20th century says “hey, what’s in this drink?” It is not a joke about how she’s drunk and about to be raped. It’s a joke about how she’s perfectly sober and about to have awesome consensual sex and use the drink for plausible deniability because she’s living in a society where women aren’t supposed to have sexual agency.

Basically, the song only makes sense in the context of a society in which women are expected to reject men’s advances whether they actually want to or not, and therefore it’s normal and expected for a lady’s gentleman companion to pressure her despite her protests, because he knows she would have to say that whether or not she meant it, and if she really wants to stay she won’t be able to justify doing so unless he offers her an excuse other than “I’m staying because I want to.” (That’s the main theme of the man’s lines in the song, suggesting excuses she can use when people ask later why she spent the night at his house: it was so cold out, there were no cabs available, he simply insisted because he was concerned about my safety in such awful weather, it was perfectly innocent and definitely not about sex at all!) In this particular case, he’s pretty clearly right, because the woman has a voice, and she’s using it to give all the culturally-understood signals that she actually does want to stay but can’t say so. She states explicitly that she’s resisting because she’s supposed to, not because she wants to: “I ought to say no no no…” She states explicitly that she’s just putting up a token resistance so she’ll be able to claim later that she did what’s expected of a decent woman in this situation: “at least I’m gonna say that I tried.” And at the end of the song they’re singing together, in harmony, because they’re both on the same page and they have been all along.

Because I love being taught to love myself. Being taught skin care regiment by a beautiful gay man who looks like Jesus. He’s powerful. He’s positive. He’s giving you a home made DIY lip scrub made from honey, coconut oil, sugar, and essentials oils that you can make with your mother and kids. He’s teaching you how to use green tinted concealer for the redness in your skin so you can get your ex wife back and take her to a car show. Jonathan is love, and powerful vibes in your bathroom when you’re not feeling your best. Self care starts somewhere. And he’s giving you the first step. Go gay Jesus.