Morella

My bf cooked a lot this week, I’m very grateful and he makes very yummy food. I ate small portions but I think I miscalculated calories because I maintained weight. I did have one bad day as well and ate some chocolate mouse with him.

TW for ËĎ, Numbers/Tracking

My bf took 3 days off work and every day ordered takeout :/ I’m slowly trying to get him to stop without raising any concern.

He got us Dunkin’ Donuts one morning and got me a sausage egg and cheese AND a bagel with cream cheese wtf? He’s my biggest challenge rn and it sucks,

I’ve been cutting corners just enough to loose one more pound but in a weird way it almost feel like I’ve gained because I know I could have lost more. But I will keep trying and I will be th1n

It’s been a hard week, I’ve been in a lot of social situations with food so most days have been 1ooo-15oo cl. I’ve also been in an intense heatwave so I couldn’t go for a lot of walks or workout much without feeling faint.

The bright side is that I get very full very quickly now. My fasting times are getting longer. My longest fast so far was 20 hours (stopped unintentional) and I’ll have more opportunities next week to lock in.

Still big. Still lots to go.

But a very important weıghť for me. I’ve been stuck in the 161-169 range for a least a year now and it’s really been bothering me deep down although I tried to ignore it.

I started to feel like I would never see a break. I would get to 161 sometimes but somehow, (Ik exactly how) I would always shoot back up. It’s felt bad. Having a 10lbweight fluctuation consistently is not normal- I see that now. I see how I’ve been b1ng£ing without realizing it.

I’ve lost 9lbs so far. Mostly water weight I think. My daily intake has been between 5oo -15oo cl and Ive been walking 2-5 miles a day with a few light workouts as well.

It’s been a pretty stressful week personally so the f00d noise has been loud but I’ve managed to keep control. I’ve been watching a lot of video essays on the topic here and I’ve made some Pinterest boards too.

I’ve started small, skipping meals where no one looks, declining the gluttonous sweet treats offered at work and drinking lots of water. I feel good, better than I have in a while. How long this feeling will last I cannot say, but so far I’m having fun. 🥀

I use to be a lot happier with myself. But to be honest, cracks have been breaking into my skin for a long time now. In recent weeks, my cloth began to feel tighter and tighter. I looked in the mirror, finally seeing the weight I’ve put on- close to 30lbs.

I know how this happened. Changing jobs, apartments, a boyfriend, struggling in my first mature relationship, struggling with ADHD, anxiety/depression silently following in the background of every day. It’s piled up and I lost control.