current fic: valkyrie -- a first wizarding war/marauders era fic following the women, specifically the love between mary macdonald and hestia jones
published fic: interlude - revolution 0 â a companion to valkyrie exploring dorcas meadowesâ childhood and relationship with mentor alastor moody
published fic: interlude - bite the hand -- a companion to valkyrie exploring the creation of hogwarts and the lives of its four founders
published fic: a dream, purple eyes, and half of my soul -- a lost records: bloom and rage one-shot following swann holloway after the summer of 1995, dealing with the loss of her soulmate, kat mikaelsen, and amnesia
published fic: but the fighter still remains -- a darjeeling limited character study about francis whitman
fandoms: marauders, criminal minds, infinite jest, ted lasso, the raven cycle, dbh, life is strange, lost records bloom and rage, shadowhunters
will gladly talk your ear off about literature, autism rep in media, or greek mythology
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everybody loves clara jones! (it's me, i'm everybody)
born on december 21st, 1962
half-blood
hufflepuff chaser and prefect
pansexual
ojibwe (from her dad's side)
patronus: firefly
of the jones and wilcox families
younger sister of hestia jones (two and a half years older)
dated darren floyd briefly in fifth year, but they broke up cause he got weirdly possessive over her
her middle name is daphne, after the mythological greek figure.
while hestia loved the greek mythology stories their dad told them, clara preferred the ojibwe stories he was taught since he was a kid
she got the stereotypical hufflepuff green thumb, plants just love her
her ojibwe name is waawaatesi, which means firefly (the form of her patronus). the name was given to her in a naming ceremony as an infant, and is what her mum calls her most of the time
gobstones enthusiast and leader of the gobstones club
observant, deeply empathetic, and wise beyond her years. she adores her sister but acts as her voice of reason
her friend group at hogwarts is jade prewitt and lindsay vaughn. despite her sister's closest friends having siblings in clara's year, she isn't close with casey or claire. despite this, clara has a friendly reputation and knows most people, who generally like her as well
is allergic to pet dander, even though she desperately wants to just snuggle every cat or dog she sees
friends usually call her cj
best classes are herbology and potions (slughorn thinks she's the bee's knees)
was fourteen when her dad died
she's got a scar on her chin from when she was seven and walked into a doorframe
tea addict
keeps her dad's leather jacket at the bottom of her trunk and only pulls it out when she's feeling especially sad to remind herself that he's still with her
isn't fluent in anishinaabemowin (the ojibwe language) but does actively try to maintain her knowledge of it by writing words in a little journal and practicing for a bit each morning in the mirror
was nearly a hatstall between hufflepuff and gryffindor, but she wanted to be with her sister
wants to become the equivalent of a muggle social worker when she grows up, to help kids navigate issues at home or other life-changing events
she and hestia are very close, and she often knows more than she lets on about hestia's feelings and relationships
sleeps with her childhood stuffed flamingo every night
been thinking about valkyrie!marylily recently !! how lily's only reaction to mary's confession was an apology, because if she could return those feelings she WOULD. bc she'd do anything for Mary. I'm sick
the greatest tragedy of marylily in my eyes is that the one thing lily can't give mary is the one thing mary wants. she knows what it means to love somebody and not have it returned, and she'll be damned if she ever lets anybody, especially mary, feel that way. unfortunately, in the absence of her romantic love for her best friend, it simply isn't meant to be, but lily will never make mary feel unloved in any way ever again, as far as she can help it
hello hello!! hope you've been well. sorry for, idk, dipping off the face of the earth a little these past few months lol. briefly, the world is complicated right now and so is being a human.
i'm back though! and, with the long-promised chapter of valkyrie posted! i'm realizing it managed to reach like 25 pages on my doc which is insane to me. maybe that explains why it took me so long lol
but yeah, it's nice to be back here again! i'm hoping to get back to posting more character profiles soon (i have over 50 drafts going omg) and getting back in the flow of writing
Ryland Grace is the character of all time actually. He's a genius molecular biologist. He's a middle school teacher. He wears big cozy knitted jumpers and his glasses are hanging off his face (defying gravity) roughly 58% of the time. He thinks he's a coward but makes peace with dying for a good cause. His best friend is a rock alien he met on an end of the world buddy-buddy roadtrip. The first thing he teaches to said alien best friend are dance moves. He saves the universe with the power of shitty arts and crafts. He cries in more scenes than any male lead I can remember in a Hollywood movie. His happy ending is living in a terrarium on a distant planet like his alien best friend's weird rescue pet. He's also aroace coded.
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the aroace read of ryland grace is so personal and haunting. "you don't even have a dog." was it not enough to love the world for the sake of living in it. was it not enough to live for the thrill of discovery. was it not enough to smile at your students. was it not enough to be afraid.
ââDid you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?
Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it
She's still 23 inside her fantasy
How it was supposed to be
/ /
Amelia Bones grew up on ice, in every way imaginable.
In the literal sense of course. She had been figure skating since she was four, competing since she was seven and for fun since she was eleven. It wasnât very common for a pureblood witch to have such an interest in a Muggle sport, but Amelia had been fascinated since she saw Sjoukje Dijkstra win the 1964 Winter Olympics.
She was at her godfatherâs house when it aired. He had always been interested in Muggle inventions and claimed that he was the first wizard to own a television ever. He had the games on while he babysat Amelia and her brothers one afternoon, and since then she was hooked.
It had always confused her as to why her parents agreed to put her in lessons. At first, she had assumed that it was just to see the way her eyes lit up as she improved, but as the years went on it became more apparent that her pure enjoyment wouldnât be enough to make her parents want to go through the trouble of putting their witch daughter through a very expensive Muggle sport, which would take a lot of dedication and time to succeed in. No, it mustâve been for a different reason. Perhaps they let her because of how classy it was; the classical music, the pretty dresses, the angelic moves and well-respected reputation that came with it. That was probably it.
Because you see, while Amelia did grow up on physical ice, she also grew up on the metaphorical kind.
Treading on thin ice, that was the saying, wasnât it?
Yeah, well, Amelia had plenty of experience with that also.
The Bones family was highly respected in the wizarding world. One of the greatest families among wizard kind, she had heard people say. Great things were expected from her since she was born, and her parents made sure that their children would live up to every single thread of potential they had.
It wasnât hard to figure out why they were like this.
Ameliaâs grandfather had been an alcoholic and a deadbeat dad. He had everything, and nearly threw it all away when his wife died. Ameliaâs father was determined to be anything but his dad. He wouldnât throw away the family name, he wouldnât let his kids out of his sight once.
Her mother was pretty much the same but for the opposite reason. Ameliaâs grandparents on her motherâs side were not bad parents, but more so thought that their daughter and son-in-law would be bad parents. Therefore, Ameliaâs mother had a mission to prove them wrong.
So from the moment the Bones siblings were conceived they were not children but points to be made, things to be proud of, reasons to see their lives as meaningful.
How could we be bad parents when our eldest is a loving husband and father to three beautiful baby girls?
How can we be bad parents when our only daughter is set to become Minister of Magic?
How can we be bad parents when our youngest son died a hero?
Jamie, Ameliaâs older brother, had been exactly what their parents needed him to be; top of his class, prefect, head boy, became a healer and married his high school sweetheart all before the age of 20. He had three daughters, Rebecca, Susan and Noelle just as his parents wanted for him.
Amelia herself liked to think that she was close to being perfect. At school, she was a prefect and head girl, and becoming the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement with a seat on the Wizengamot was certainly something to be proud of. Only she never married and was, even at the age of 37, childless. Close to what her parents wanted for her, but not quite.
Edgar, Ameliaâs twin, younger by seven minutes, was different. He started out like his elder siblings, prefect and Quidditch Captain. But he didnât do well in his lessons, he became an Auror because his friends did. He joined a war because he felt pressured due to his job and never made it out. Edgar didnât follow the path his parents laid out for him, and he died. Edgar didnât do what his parents wanted him to do, and he died.
Sometimes, Amelia liked to blame her parents for her brotherâs death, and sometimes it was Jamie who got the blame; every now and then Emmeline Vance would be the one Amelia was cursing out or Elizabeth Harvey, but most of the time when people asked how her brother died, it would be a mirror that her eyes would divert to.
You, sheâd tell herself. You did it.
Because while Amelia was too busy twirling, Edgar stepped on the ice and fell straight through.
Ice: Beautiful but deadly. Strong as a thousand men one day, and cracking under the tiniest bit of pressure the next.
Amelia liked to think of herself as ice personified, after all, it was the only constant in her life.
So it made sense that today, the 14th of July 1996, Amelia goes to her local ice rink, plays the tape of Maurice Ravel and MiloĹĄ KaradagliÄâs Bolero and begins to dance.
There is no certain routine that she is skating, just whatever comes to mind. She hasnât competed in a long time and definitely would not be able to fit into any of her old costumes. But it is nice to just dance.
She dances, and dances, and dances.
And thinks too.
A lot of thinking.
Thinking about her first night in Hogwarts. She and Edgar had spent the train journey with Jamie, who couldâve spent his last train ride with his friends. He had duties to attend to while on the train. Most of his friends ditched their responsibilities to spend the ride together, but he ditched because his little sister and his little brother asked him to. He spent the entire time going through everything they needed to know about Hogwarts.
If youâre going to be late for any lesson, donât let it be McGonagall's.
Peeves is an inconvenience and will say and do things to annoy you but he wonât hurt you.
Donât bother going into the Forbidden Forest, itâs not worth it and you could get hurt.
Hereâs every single time the stairs will move and how to avoid them.
By the time they reached Hogwarts, Amelia felt like she had gone through her seven years already. She recognised Hagrid just by his accent, and Hagrid recognised her and Edgar just by their similarities to Jamie.
âYou must be Jamieâs brother and sister,â he greeted them warmly. âItâs nice to finally meet you.â
Throughout the entire trip from London to the Great Hall, Amelia had a tight grip on Edgar. She clutched his sleeve like it was some form of life jacket, not even thinking about what she would do when the time came for her to let go.
Her name was called to the sorting hat before his.
She thinks about this moment a lot while she dances, for it was the moment that inevitably changed her life.
Edgar was the loud one growing up. He was the one who inherited all of the confidence and pride that their parents had. Amelia was in the shadows of it all, letting her brother do all the talking for her.
She assumes she got away with her unexplained shyness simply because she was a girl. It didnât matter that she was the elder of the two, it was the brotherâs job to protect his sister, and it was the sisterâs job to ground her brother.
Edgar spent his time outside with the neighbours, playing Quidditch during the day and practising his piano during the nights, never shying away from any type of crowd. Meanwhile, Amelia enjoyed the quiet swiftness of her skates against the ice. She had tried competing for a while, but got stage fright every time, in the end, her parents didnât see spending all of the money worth it.
Edgar never understood how she could have such a talent but not want to show it off.
But she was simply just shy as a kid. She didnât need to talk, she had Edgar for that. She didnât need to do anything on her own, because Edgar was always right by her side. Where he went, she followed, it was just how they worked.
So during the sorting ceremony, when McGonagall called out her name first, Amelia learnt how to find her own path for the very first time. From that moment on, she would find herself in front of her brother more often than not, trusting that he would follow her.
That first night was the only time he did.
Both of them were sorted into Hufflepuff, which was expected considering James had also been, along with a good chunk of their other family. Hufflepuff was good. Hufflepuff was safe.
Hufflepuff was also the house which Caradoc Dearborn and Bathsheda Babbling were sorted into, along with Fabian and Gideon Prewett.
Twins. Another pair of twins in the same year, in the same house.
To many, it might not seem like a lot, certainly not enough to make friends based on that fact alone, but apparently to Amelia, Edgar, Fabian and Gideon, it was everything and more.
Jamie had told them time and time again about how fast you can make friends while at Hogwarts. He liked the house system because it put those who were alike together. Amelia had never truly believed him for fear that she would be too heartbroken if Edgar made friends without her, but on the first night, it was she who made the first move towards Fabian and Gideon.
âYouâre twins?â She asked them quietly.
They both nodded, terribly out of sync with each other. âYou also?â
Amelia and Edgar also nodded and the rest, as they say, is history.
From that moment on they also befriended Caradoc, and he introduced them to his best friend Benjy Fenwick, who introduced them to his potions partner Pandora Ollivander, and by the time of the 1972 Winter Olympics in their second year, Amelia was watching Beatrix Schuba win gold surrounded by the best friends she had ever had.
Pandora squeezed her hand as they watched the scores light up the screen. The seven of them had stolen a television from the Muggle Studies classroom and were all huddled up in the boy's dorm as they watched. It was the middle of the night, and not live, but it was more than enough.
Pandora and Benjy had stayed the night in the Hufflepuff common room that night. The first of many sleepovers.
Their friendship group wasnât as tight knit as others may have been, but to Amelia, they were everything. Those early years at Hogwarts with her six best friends were the most carefree and happy she had ever been.
As she dances, their years together go through her mind in flashes.
She remembers the time Caradoc blew up his poison so badly that they had to evacuate the class.
She remembers the prank war she, Edgar, Fabian and Gideon had with The Marauders, those four annoying boys from the year below.
She remembers when Caradoc and Benjy first got together, when they first caught Gideon kissing Jordanna Bodiment on the train, when Edgar finally got with Emmeline Vance.
She remembers every halloween/birthday party that she, Edgar, Fabian and Gideon threw in the Hufflepuff common room.
She remembers all of the times she knew that Edgar, Fabian and Gideon were born to be her best friends.
Like when they learnt how to cast the patronus charm in their seventh year.
âThink of a happy thought,â Professor Brooks kept saying as he circled the class. âDonât stress about getting it right as soon as possible. This is a hard spell and weâll have two more lessons to master it.â
Benjy was the first out of them to succeed, surprising absolutely nobody but Gideon, who had gone against Edgar, Fabian, Caradoc and Pandora and betted that Amelia would be the first in the year to get it, while they all betted on Benjy. As head boy and girl it was known to everyone that one of them was going to be first.
Think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts.
Pandora was next, and very quickly after Benjy, for everyone was still admiring his cameleon when the horse flew out of Pandoraâs wand, the rest of the class shaking their heads between the two animals, not knowing which one was more impressive.
The next lesson, it was Fabian, whose patronus was a small, yet beautiful blue tit, which flew across the room and chased Alistair Ballcoke for a good two minutes before Professor Brooks told him to call it back.
Gideon wasnât far behind with his owl, then it was Caradoc and his tabby cat and by the end of the lesson, even Edgar had managed it by producing a raven.
Amelia, however, was yet to make more than a spark.
âYou just gotta think bird,â Fabian kept saying, making her roll her eyes every time.
His words seemed to have the same effect on Pandora. âThinking about what form you want it to take doesnât have any impact.â
Fabian shrugged. âIt could help.â
âIt might not even be a bird.â
âItâs going to be a bird.â
Amelia ignored them all, and tried her hardest to seem like being one of the last in the class to get the spell right wasnât eating her alive. Magic had always come so easily for her, so why was she finding this one so hard? Even Edgar managed to get it before her.
âYouâre overthinking it,â Benjy answered her unasked question. He was sitting next to her on the grass, as the others were supposed to be practising their Transfiguration key spells, but had gotten distracted five times since they started.
âWhat gave it away?â She asked, deadpanned.
Benjy chucked. âYou curl your lips intently whenever you really concentrate on something. Itâs a really bad look for you by the way.â
Amelia sighed. âAre you actually planning on being helpful, or are you going to continue to mock my looks?â
âI was planning on doing the first one, but this happens so little I have to make the most of it,â he smiled.
She didnât smile back, just buried her head back into her book and tried not to take her frustration out on her friends who were just having fun. Eventually, Caradoc came over to sit on her other side. âYouâre going to get it,â he reassured her. âPanicking wonât help.â
âIâm not panicking,â she said back, sharply. âIâm just⌠concentrating.â
âWhat memory are you using?â Benjy asked.
âWhen I got Headgirl. My parents kept telling me they were proud for a week.â
Fabian laughed. âIâm going to pretend that it doesnât hurt that Iâm not involved in your happiest memory.â
Benjy waved him off, before turning back to her. âIs that really the happiest youâve ever been?â
Yes. she thought immediately. Her entire life has been set up for her to be Head Girl. Not only was Jamie Head Boy while he was in school, but her parents had always told people that Amelia was set to become a leader one day. They believed that she would get it and she proved them right. It wasnât the first time her parents had told her they were proud of her, but it was the only time she had truly believed them.
But, despite his silence, Amelia could feel her brother's eyes on her. He was pissing around with Gideon and Pandora, but now he looked at her harshly. She spun her head round, catching him in the act. âWhat?â she snapped.
Edgarâs eyes fell to the floor as he shrugged. âItâs your memory,â he muttered before looking back up at her. âBut, itâs definitely not the happiest Iâve ever seen you.â
Amelia crossed her arms. âOkay, Mr Know It All, whatâs the happiest Iâve ever been then?â
Edgar shrugged again, this time a small smile creeping onto his face. âI donât know, but it isnât that.â
âHeâs right,â Benjy butted in. âYouâll never get it if youâre focusing on the happiness of others, rather than your own.â
âBut I was happy!â
âYou were happy, because your parents were happy,â Caradoc said. âThats not the same thing, and itâs definitely not powerful enough for a Patronus.â
âWell, what is powerful enough for a Patronus?â Amelia asked, feeling her frustration build up with every word.
Caradoc gave her a knowing smile and shrugged. âI canât tell you that. But itâs in there somewhere. You just gotta know what to look for.â
It sounds unrealistic to say, and every time she thinks the memory through, Amelia believes more and more that she must be overdramatising it, but she canât remember it any other way, for as soon as those words left Caradoc's mouth, Amelia turned her head, and there was Pandora, beaming at her in the sunlight.
They had only locked eyes for a second. Fabian was seconds away from squirting water at her from his wand, but just the one look was enough to tell Amelia everything she needed to know.
The next afternoon she refused to hesitate before casting the spell. With Pandoraâs smile in mind, she didnât need to think at all, only feel, and less than a second later a dove was soaring through the room, the perfect patronus, summoned by a perfect memory.
So, Edgar, Fabian and Gideon were her soulmates, Benjy and Caradoc were her rocks, and Pandora was so much more.
She had always been more.
When Amelia first realised that she was in love with Pandora Ollivander she was fourteen, and it was Halloween.
Every year Amelia, Edgar, Fabian and Gideon would hold a joint birthday/halloween party in the Hufflepuff common room. It started out as a joke, the four of them realised in their first year that their birthdays were a month apart, and wanted to have a big party with everyone in attendance but knew that nobody would show up for four firsties less than a term into the year, so they told everyone the party was for Halloween and only mentioned their birthdays when Benjy and Caradoc brought out the cakes.
For their third year together, Amelia was in charge of their costumes, and couldnât think of anything other than making the boys dress up as various winter sports. She was dressed in one of her favourite costumes, while Edgar was a hockey player, Fabian a snowboarder and Gideon a skier. Pandora was gorgeous, and dressed as Sleeping Beauty that night.
Amelia had been talking to Gaspard Shingleton, a Ravenclaw from their year who sat next to her in Potions and Charms. He had been talking to her all night, and every now and then would awkwardly try to hold her hand or pat her shoulder.
âJust imagine it!â he was saying. âYou wouldnât have to worry so much about your arm tiring out in potions anymore â I think itâs definitely doable.â
Amelia smiled and nodded as he spoke. Once in potions she complained that her arms were getting tired from all the stirring they had to do for that particular potion, and now Gaspard was showing her blueprints for a self-stiring cauldron that he was inventing.
He had a habit of that. Every time anyone in their class mentioned something that was particularly draining to them, he would come to class the next day with a solution and claim that he was going to build and sell it. So far, everything that he had started had never gotten past the prototype stage. He kept getting distracted with whatever was complained about next.
He had been talking for half an hour about his new self-stiring cauldron idea, and Amelia was almost at the point of faking a headache just to get away. He had repeated himself at least five times, and at this point she was beginning to believe that she could invent the cauldron herself through pure memory of his imaginary blueprints.
Gaspard breathed heavily when he realised he didnât have any more drink left. He awkwardly looked around, probably for the drinks table before taking another deep breath. Amelia had been about to ask him if he was okay, but didnât have a chance to get a word out before he had turned back to her and quicker then she had seen him do anything, leaned in to kiss her.
Luckily it was only a peck. Gaspard pulled away as quickly as he leaned in. His face had turned a bright red as his eyes searched hers. He didnât say anything, and neither did she. She just ran.
Her first kiss. That was how her first kiss was going to go? By a guy she doesnât like with zero build up or agreement? The idea of anyone else knowing about it made her feel sick. What would her friends say? She couldnât go dating Gaspard, she didnât want to. But wasnât first kisses supposed to be special?
She stopped once outside of the basement, settling on the stairs to catch her thoughts.
She had never been against finding someone at school, she was actually quite excited for it in first year. Her parents had met at Hogwarts, and so had Jamie and his wife. It was extremely common in the wizarding world to not only marry young, but to marry someone you met while at school. After all, unless you were with a muggle, a foreigner, or someone seven years younger, or older than you, then you were attending the same school as your future spouse.
The thought originally gave Amelia comfort, imagining an easy future with someone she could so easily meet and get to know. But now, in her third year, she had realised that she was almost halfway through her time at Hogwarts, and had met no boy she fancied yet. Not even the slightest of crushes had occurred.
The boys got crushes. Gideon had already had three girlfriends, and Fabian and Edgar had also already had their first kiss. Amelia was falling behind with no way of catching up. Not unless the man of her dreams joined Hogwarts in a few years (and considering they would be eleven, that was extremely unlikely.)
She didnât know how long she was sat there, but it was expected that eventually someone would notice she was gone and go looking for her. That someone was Pandora.
âThere you are!â she said, as she joined her on the stairs. âWeâre about to bring the cakes out.â
Amelia smiled briefly. âJust needed a moment,â she said. Then, after a second of consideration, decided to be truthful. âGaspard Shingleton kisses me.â
Pandoraâs face lit up. âAnd?â she prompted.
She sighed, almost feeling bad for bursting her bubble. âI don't know.â she shrugged. âI donât like him that way.â
Pandora nodded. âOkay, well who do you like that way?â
Amelia thought very hard. âNo one as of yet, but if he was to exist he would have a be kind.â
âGaspard is kind.â
âI know heâs kind. But he canât just be that. He has to be⌠determined, and lively, and a good listener.â
âWell thatâs less like Gaspard.â
âBecause I donât like Gaspard,â she said. âHeâd also need lighter hair. Gaspard has the exact same hair colour as my brothers and I refuse to be with anyone who looks like them.â
âSo someone who looks nothing like you?â Pandora laughed lightly. âLike me?â
She said it as a joke. Amelia would have to keep reminding herself that it was supposed to be a joke. Pandora did look nothing like her. They had different styles, different hair colours, different eye colours, and different skin colours. It was supposed to be a joke, but it woke something up inside of Amelia that at the time she couldnât explain.
She thought about Pandora, and the more she thought, the more she wished it was her that kissed her that night. And the more she thought that, she more disgusted she became.
It wasnât an option. Pandora had been crushing on Xenophilius Lovegood from the year above since she met him. And Amelia wasnât like that. She liked boys, she had to.
But, as time went on, she started to see the signs everywhere. The way her cheeks grew red when she noticed the curves of Bathsheda as they were getting changed. How she was discovering little crushes that she had on celebrities growing up.
The years went by, and eventually, the not knowing became too much to bear, so Amelia did what every girl at Hogwarts did when they didnât know how they felt; she went to Wendy Slinkhard.
Wendy was a Gryffindor in her year, and the go to girl to explore your sexuality with. Amelia had heard some of the girls in the toilets speaking about it in hushed tones. Wendy was a lesbian, and very out and proud, despite the constant harassment she got from some of their classmates. Word on the street was that she liked sex, and was willing to have it with any girl she could.
âSo â Do you think youâre â Yâknow â That?â One of the girls asked.
The other let out a soft chuckle. âIf I am, I know who Iâll be calling next.â
It took Amelia two weeks in fifth year to decide that she wanted to have sex with a woman, and five more to work up the courage to ask Wendy for it.
When she did, Wendy smirked and bit the top of her pen. (She never used quills, it was the Muggleborn in her.) âWell, I must say Bones, youâre probably the last person I thought Iâd have knocking on my door.â
Amelia swallowed hard, feeling foolish at the way Wendyâs strong American accent (that she had never taken much note of before) swayed her. She cleared her throat. âWell, you hardly know me,â she stuttered out. âIâm not as much of a priss as you think I am.â
Wendyâs smile grew as she looked her up and down. âDoes your brother know youâre here?â
At this, Amelia couldnât help but roll her eyes. She wasnât that naive to see that Wendy was clearly putting on some sort of character here. She wanted to be intimidating, and if they were going to get anywhere she had to show her that she meant what she was saying. âI know things might be different where youâre from, but in Europe we donât share our sex lives with our siblings.â
Wendy nodded, still smiling, and stood up from her seat. âHow soon?â she asked, leaning on the table.
âAs soon as possible.â
âEager, arenât we?â She took one last long look before straightening up and grabbing her bag. âMeet me in Gryffindor Tower twenty minutes after dinner starts. Iâll let you into my dorm, no one will be there, and I promise no one will see you go in or out.â
âWhat about dinner?â Amelia asked, without thinking. Immediately feeling childish for worrying.
Wendy didnât look discouraged. âDonât worry. Iâll provide.â And with that, she was gone.
*
Luckily, Wendy meant provide in the literal sense. When Amelia met her at the agreed time, after faking a headache to her friends, she led her through the empty Gryffindor common room and down the stairs towards her dorm. There she had two plates of a roast dinner already made and on a table in the corner of the room, all wrapped up and kept warm under a heated plate. âWe can either eat together afterwards, or if you prefer, Iâll leave you alone for a bit,â she said as Amelia eyed the food, already feeling her mouth water at the sight of it. âDonât feel pressured to eat it all either. I didnât know what you liked so I just grabbed a bit of everything.â
âNo, itâs perfect. I like pretty much everything anyway,â Amelia replied, fearing that she may end up falling in love by the time the night ended.
Wendy nodded, already unbuttoning her shirt. âHave you ever had sex before?â
Amelia shook her head as she watched, wondering if she should be doing the same.
âThatâs not a problem, Iâll lead.â She finished with her buttons, but didnât take her shirt off completely. Instead, she took Ameliaâs waist, slowly but surely, and when Amelia showed no signs of a protest, pulled her towards the bed until she fell on top of it. âWeâll go slow. Tell me what feels good.â
Amelia had never kissed anyone before, and in the moment regretted not even trying to get her first kiss out of the way before jumping straight into the deep end. Thankfully, Wendy mustâve been used to the inexperienced and didnât at all seem turned off by her careless mirroring.
As promised, they went slow, and when Amelia wanted to speed up, they did that too. Wendy was kinder than expected, and more beautiful than she had ever been. It surprised Amelia, the way how their time together was actually treated like an experiment and less like Wendy just wanting to have sex. She explained everything that she was about to do, she like her feel everything possible, and in the end, didnât even expect much back. (Though Amelia definitely gave her more than enough back. It was the least she could do, and she didnât know when she would have the opportunity again.)
In the end, she didnât fall in love, not with Wendy at least, but she did know for certain. This was nothing that a man could make her feel, and this was everything she wanted to feel with Pandora. Amelia wanted to be more than her friend. Amelia loved her more than a friend.
It was possibly the worst thing that had ever happened to her. A woman being with another woman was unnatural in every way, or at least thatâs what her parents had told her growing up. For a moment, the Bones family had lived near a couple of lesbians when Amelia and Edgar were small. They had gone door to door introducing themselves to the neighbours.
When they arrived at their door, Ameliaâs mother had assumed that they were sisters, and once corrected, slammed the door in their face.
âAbsolute filth,â she told the father over dinner. âThis is a family home, and they tried to bring that filth here!â
Ameliaâs father shook his head. âItâs the kids these days, they want to be special. One day theyâll grow up and want to start a family of their own, then what?â
They had the same conversation over and over again. Anytime anything queer was mentioned, Mother would say something about it being filth, and Father would say something about wanting to start a family. When Ameila was eleven, Jamie added in his own line.
âThey just want to seem cool.â
Over the years she tried to get over her feelings for Pandora, but she knew that there was no changing it.
Still, she didnât tell anyone until her seventh year, and of course when she did, it was to Edgar.
It wasnât planned, and took two attempts.
On the first one she was drunk. It was their 18th birthday and Fabian and Gideon had dragged both of them out of the common room and into the Three Broomsticks the moment midnight hit.
âCaradoc, Benjy and Panda too tired to go out?â Edgar asked as the four of them finished their first round of drinks.
Fabian shook his head, standing up to collect all of their glasses. âCaradoc said he wanted to take full advantage of having the dorm to himself. He snuck Benjy in right after we left, and Pandora wasnât feeling it.â
âShe wasnât feeling it?â Amelia repeated, despite knowing exactly what he meant. They were only a month into the school year and Pandora had complained about not being able to see her boyfriend every day, completely shattering any fantasies Amelia had of getting her best friend back that year. Between Xenophilius and her new Slytherin friends, it felt like Pandora was drifting further and further away.
âSorry Lia, I tried to convince her,â Fabian said. âAnother double Firewhisky coke for everyone?â
âIâll have mine straight,â Amelia replied, not thinking.
âOh, I see how it is,â Gideon laughed. âMake mine straight too.â
Fabian nodded then turned to Edgar who simply shook his head. âIâll just have a Butterbeer,â he said, barely getting his words out before Fabian slammed his hand on the table.
âNo! No, no, no, no, no. Itâs your birthday, youâre having a drink.â
âI had a drink,â Edgar argued. âYou know the rules, Fab.â
âItâs a stupid rule. Alcoholism isn't genetic, and even if it was, neither of you two seem to be going off the deep end. Just have one night when you both drink please.â
Edgar shook his head. âIf I get drunk then who's going to get you idiots back to the castle?â
âGideon will.â
âWh â Why me?â
âBecause youâre the responsible one.â
âSince when?â
âOkayyy, Iâm getting bored now,â Amelia stood up. âIâm going to get three straight firewhiskeyâs and a butterbeer.â
âItâs your eighteenth birthday,â Fabian continued to protest. âYou deserve to get drunk together.â
âI donât want to get drunk,â Edgar said, standing up also, and taking the empty glasses out of Fabian's hands. âIâll go with her.â
Fabian made a face, but wasnât given enough time to complain as Amelia and Edgar were already halfway to the bar before he could open his mouth.
âI'm sorry about Pandora,â Edgar said once they were out of earshot. âShe probably just needs some time to get used to Xeno not being here.â
âI know,â Amelia replied quietly. âIt just sucks.â She focused her attention on Rosmerta behind the bar, who was about to take her order before something behind Amelia caught her eye.
âOi!â she yelled, banging her fist on the bar to get the attention of two girls who were tucked away in one of the booths. âNone of that here!â
The two girls hesitantly moved away from each other, and after one shared look hurried out of the door, leaving their half full pints behind.
Rosemerta watched them leave before turning back to Amelia and Edgar. âI donât have a problem with it,â she murmured to them. âBut if you want to be a bender, you can do it in your own homes. Nobody here wants to see that.â
Neither of them said anything in response. Edgar told her their order and they took them back to the table in silence.
That night she drank so much she had to be carried to bed.
She nearly pushed Edgar down the stairs five times on their way up to her dorm. âMerlin Lia, when did you get so heavy?â he complained, dropping her on her bed.
Amelia murmured as he took off her shoes. Bathsheda was snoring from her own side of the room, but she didnât want to wait until morning to say what she wanted to say. She had promised herself that by the time she was 18 she would be different. That included telling her brother about her true feelings for their friend.
She wanted to tell him. There was nothing else in the universe that she wanted more in that moment, but what happened in the Three Broomsticks had been replaying in her head. She wasnât a fool. She knew what people thought about gay people, and she had heard her parents talk long enough to grasp their opinion on it.
If Edgar was like them (and there was no concrete evidence that he wasnât) then sheâd be ruined. Sheâd lose not only her twin, but her best friend, and probably all of her other friends with him. â
âI love you,â she started.
âI love you too,â he said back casually, still moving round the room.
She stopped him by taking his hand, âNo, Ed, I mean it. I love you.â
Edgar looked down at her confused. âYou okay, Lia?â
She nodded. âI just need to tell you something, and you may not love me anymore when you find out, so Iâm making the most of it now.â
Edgar took a while to reply. âAmelia, nothing could make me stop loving you,â he eventually said. âYou know that, right?â
He almost fooled her. One more word and she wouldâve been telling him every tiny detail about her love for girls, but even drunk she was smarter than that. âNever say never,â she said, before turning over and falling asleep.
Luckily, Edgar allowed her to keep her dignity by never bringing their conversation up. It was almost as if it never happened, and somehow Amelia found dread and comfort in that.
She did want to tell him, and she had faith that what he said was true. He had never spoken ill about gay people before, and was still friends with Fabian, even after he told them that he was bisexual in their fourth year. But Edgar wasnât exactly happy about it. After they found out that Fabian had secretly been seeing Remus Lupin, he declared a war on The Marauders, causing the eight of them to spend that Christmas playing pranks on each other until one of them gave up. (It went on for so long that Fabian and Remus werenât even still together by the time they surrendered.)
Was that because Fabian was with a guy, or because Fabian was with a Marauder?
Did it even matter? If Edgar was going to bend his morals for someone surely it would be her.
She kept doubting until she knew for certain that they were on the same team. That day being the day Hufflepuff went against Ravenclaw in Quidditch. It was Edgar's last first game at Hogwarts, and he had spent the entire summer holidays and first few months back at school making Quidditch his first priority. He had been slacking off homework, and staying up late every night to make sure that their house won the cup, only for him to catch the snitch too early during their first game.
He had locked himself in his dorm the moment the game ended, and Amelia knocked on it for two hours, only stopping when he eventually opened it.
âYou give me grey hairs,â she told him, after almost squeezing him to death. Pulling him towards his own bed where they both sat side by side.
Edgar leaned his head on the headboard, his red eyes were refusing to meet hers. âHow bad is it?â he asked. âDoes everyone hate me now?â
Amelia shook her head. âSome people were mad, until Fabian, Gideon and I yelled at them. Mostly everyone is just worried.â
âEveryone?â
âEveryone that matters."
âMhm â Thanks for defending me.â
âOf course. Anytime.â
They hung with those words for a moment. Anytime. She truly meant it. Edgar was the one person in the world who could do anything, and she would always take his side, whether he was right or wrong. There was nobody she wanted to keep in her life more, and if the choice ever came to choose against him or their parents, she knew she would choose her brother in a heartbeat.
She wasnât the only one thinking it. âEven against Mum and Dad?â Edgar asked hesitantly.
Ameliaâs answer was immediate. âEven against Mum and Dad,â she confirmed, praying to every God that he felt the same way.
âWould you defend me against Mum and Dad?â She asked, feeling brave.
Edgar laughed. âWhat do you need defending against? Lia, they love you.â
âCan you just â Answer the question please,â she pushed with a shaky voice.
Finally, he looked at her. âYes,â he answered softly. âOf course I would. Is this â Is this about the other night? What you said on our birthday?â
He was onto her. Of course he was, she was being anything but subtle. âWhat did I say on our birthday?â she asked, playing dumb, then feeling dumb afterwards. This was what she wanted wasnât it?
Then why was it so hard to just say it?
Shit, what if she already told him and forgot it? Isnât there this thing where your brain can make you forget bad memories to protect itself? Is that what happened?
Before she could spiral too much, Edgar answered. âJust something about you needing to tell me something, and that you think thereâs a possibility of me not loving you after you tell meâŚâ
Her face relaxed, as he continued. âLia, whatever it is, nothing can make me stop loving you,â he offered. âI mean whatâs the worst thing that it can be? Did you get a bad grade or something?â
He was trying to be funny. She was about to ruin their entire relationship, and possibly her life, and he was making jokes about bad grades. Was that all he saw her as? Someone who only cared about school and nothing else? The thought made her heart sink even more.
Needing space, or else she would never get round to actually telling him, Amelia stood up and moved over to Fabianâs bed, hugging one of the posters as she stared at him, wanting to get a good look at him before she threw them both off a cliff. âI really want to hate you sometimes yâknow?â she said, not realising how rude she was coming across until after she said it.
Edgar only looked more confused. âYouâre jealous of me?â he asked. When she nodded he almost gasped. âBut why?â he breathed. âYouâre the one succeeding in life.â His eyes started doing the same things hers do when sheâs thinking too fast. âDid something happen?â he then asked. âDid someone hurt you? Did ââ
âIâm jealous because youâre going to get married!â she spitted out, before she made up a lie to get herself out of confessing.
Frustratedly, he wasnât very good at reading in between the lines. âIâm lost,â he confessed.
âYouâre going to marry Emmeline!â she screamed. âYouâre going to marry the person you want to and have children and live happily ever after. I canât do that.â
âOkay brushing past the exposing my secret crushâŚâ
âOh, it is a terrible secret!â
âBrushing past that â Why canât you marry the man that you want?â
Ameliaâs arms dropped to her side. Secretly, she had been hoping that he already figured it out. It wouldâve made things so much easier. âThe man I want?â she repeated, feeling close to tears.
Edgar hesitated before nodding slowly.
Time to do this the hard way. âI â The man that I want doesnât exist,â she said quietly. Hoping that he would get the hint.
He didnât. âLia, Iâm trying to read between the lines here, I really am, but youâre going to have to be more frank,â he told her.
Amelia nodded slowly. Say it. Just say it and get it out of the way. But with every thought just came more dread that she was about to throw the only good thing she had in her life away.
Edgar, as always, somehow knew what to do. Before she could register that he had moved, he was on his feet and pulling her into his arms, allowing her to bury her face in his chest.
It was easier here. Here she couldnât see his face. Here she could pretend that she was just saying it into the darkness, that nothing she said mattered at all when she was in her brother's arms.
âI want to marry Pandora,â she said, finally, and her body filled up with shame so overwhelming it made her want to crumble into herself. She had never said it out loud before, and now that she had there was no going back. This wasnât all in her head. . She really was a rotten girl with a rotten mind, and rotten dreams, wanting to marry her female best friend who was in love with someone else.
He didnât respond straight away, but did tighten his hold, making her feel safe enough to continue talking. âI tried to like guys, Ed. I promise. I tried so hard, and I know that youâre going through a lot, and the last thing you need is a gay sister, but I canât â I canât hold it in anymore.â She sobbed.
Edgar kept his tight hold. âItâs okay,â he choked. âItâs going to be okay.â
âBut it isnât!â
âIt is! Amelia, so long as Iâm alive youâre going to be okay. Screw Mum and Dad and anyone else who has a problem with it. Iâll do anything to make sure that youâre happy.â
âAnd for the record,â he carried on. âI love you. There is nothing that you could do to change that.â
Unable to stop herself, Amelia jumped into him, wrapping her arms around his neck while his remained holding her up. As she buried her face in his shoulder, she felt silly for ever thinking that there was something in this world that could take them away from each other.
Edgar, Fabian and Gideon were her soulmates. Benjy and Caradoc were her rocks. Pandora was her everything.
Were. Were. Was.
Amelia stops skating. She doesnât like remembering that sheâs the last one left.
The fall of their friendship group was a slow and steady one. First it was Pandora, who befriended a group of Slytherins while they were in their third year. Suddenly the group of seven became a group of six, with her always spending her time with Regulus Black, Dorcas Meadowes, Evan Rosier, and Barty Crouch Jr.
Amleia had never liked them, and could never understand why Pandora did either. She had nothing in common with them, and with the war growing day by day, there was no reason to keep them around when everyone knew that they were in full support of Voldemort's ways.
âBut you donât know,â Pandora kept telling her. âYou donât know them. You Know Who has many valid criticisms of how muggles and muggleborns treat wizards, and many people agree with him, but that doesnât mean theyâre joining him.â
âI heard what I heard,â Amelia said. âNobody who uses that word deserves to be given the benefit of the doubt.â
âPeople use that word all the time,â Pandora argued with an eye roll. âItâs normal for Sacred 28 families, trust me.â
But she couldnât trust her, not enough to ever approve of her friendship with them. Whenever any of them came anywhere near Pandora, Amelia would roll her eyes and make a quick exit. She never allowed them to think for even a second that she didnât hate them with everything she had, and to this day, she doesnât know why Pandora kept them so close.
Eventually she was proven right, Rosier, Black and Crouch all joined the Death Eaters, and caused pain and destruction to countless innocent people. As Amelia dances, she finds peace in knowing that the three of them are also dead. There were still a lot of other Death Eaters still at large, but at least they were gone.
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Please tell me everything about Daisy and Lucinda!!!
i've been crafting my response, so here it goes:
lucinda:
she's a muggleborn, raised between brazil and britain. her full name is maria lucinda cardoso soares, and she has two siblings: gabriela, who is two years older, and pedro, who is four years younger. she's the only witch in the family, and getting her letter was a big shock. lucinda's never really one to have her head in the clouds or to play with magic as a kid, she's very grounded and practical so it was definitely an adjustment. her family decided to settle permanently in britain while she was at hogwarts so she'd have a home base to return to. they're very close and adore each other, especially lucinda and her mum.
she faced A LOT of prejudice and bullying for being a muggleborn sorted into slytherin. one of her primary tormentors was evan rosier, who found it funny to basically try to kill her. at one point in first year, she got made fun of for asking too many questions and talking too much in class, so she signed her next assignment "lucinda talkalot" and the name stuck.
lucinda is never afraid to back down from a fight. in fact, by sixth year she even developed a nervous tremor in her hands from the sheer act of being on lookout for an attack at every moment. her best class is defense against the dark arts, and even though she's not a top student she still does decently well.
she used to play soccer as a kid, and was really fascinated by quidditch. she didn't end up going to tryouts though in second year, and instead takes to flying around after dark with a stolen broom. emma vanity, then captain of the slytherin team, finds her and basically recruits her to the team on the spot, recognizing her talent (and also so she can kick off bernie pillsworth, emma's arch-nemesis). emma gets a lot of shit for this decision but she takes the time to train lucinda and the two develop a strong bond.
lucinda actually becomes quidditch captain in 1976, having been appointed by emma, but she faces even more backlash from the purebloods on the team, who don't respect her and even sabotage their efforts to win the cup under her leadership. the next year, she's ousted as captain for some unknown policy she'd apparently violated, a move which she considered targeted.
i'll jump over to daisy now:
she's a pureblood, and lives in the netherlands outside of school months. she has a twin sister, anya, who has cerebral palsy and other physical and developmental disabilities that require almost constant care. daisy's dad is a prominent official in the dutch ministry of magic who basically tries to cover up anya's existence because he's a selfish bigot who has on more than one occasion tried to reduce help and protections for disabled individuals in wizarding society. he sucks ass. daisy's caught in this limbo a lot of the time of trying not to disappoint her dad while also feeling a lot of resentment about how she and anya are treated by him.
daisy has a hard time being genuine, because it feels like her whole life is some sort of performance. she wanted to be an actress as a kid, and at hogwarts she's considered kind of a popular mean girl who says one thing to your face and another behind your back. she does have a lot of "friends" though, like owain jones, blossom degrasse, and ludo bagman, but they hang around with her because she's cool and rich and amusing, not because there's any sort of deep connection. based on the way people treat her, she's not too sure there's anything going on behind her good looks, which makes her deeply insecure and prone to lashing out.
daisy and lucinda meet in their second year charms class, and they're not exactly convinced with each other at first: lucinda thinks daisy is a stuck up brat and daisy thinks lucinda is a loud-mouthed tryhard. the reason they become friends is because in third year, daisy is hit with a jelly-legs jinx in the hallway meant for lucinda, and instead of just leaving her there, lucinda literally picks her up and carries her to the hospital wing. for daisy, who has basically not had a genuine relationship in her life, this actually feels really nice. lucinda calls her out on her bullshit and can clearly see right through daisy's mask, and lucinda finds that the real daisy is actually a lot more earnest and curious than she comes across.
over winter holidays, daisy has to stay at hogwarts cause her parents don't want her home, and when lucinda finds out she decides to stay too over third year winter holidays. in fourth year, lucinda even brings daisy home with her to spend christmas with a family, if not her own. it's during this second holidays that lucinda kisses daisy rather unexpectedly and daisy gets very upset, partly because she has always been viewed as an object and she feels lucinda has used her. they don't really talk until they get back to hogwarts and lucinda apologizes, but daisy isn't really willing to hear it, instead using the excuse of newts to get out of their usual hangouts.
over the summer, daisy doesn't send letters and lucinda gets really upset, feeling that daisy has turned her back on her. when they get back to school for fifth year, it turns out that daisy is dating seventh year welton bulstrode, who is one of lucinda's tormentors. they never have a big blow up fight, even though both are definitely preparing for it, but they are never really friends again.
daisy finds she doesn't really like welton, because he is demeaning towards her and treats her like a commodity to tout around and anyway she's mostly dating him to show her dad she can be a prim proper wife one day (because he sucks), but all of her friends have either drifted or taken lucinda's side. by the time she gets out of the relationship, after the holidays, she's alone and really sad. part of her wants to go grovelling back to lucinda, but her pride stops her.
lucinda eventually joins the rebellion, fighting alongside the order of the phoenix, and falls into the punk scene once she's graduated. daisy goes on to marry tilden toots, a herbologist, and becomes a historian and author. her most famous book chronicles her year living with no magic in amsterdam. publicly, she'll tie it back to her history work but really, it's because her best friend was a muggleborn and daisy never really understood her because of that. so maybe, just maybe, she wants to try now.
(i can't tell you lucinda's ending because that's spoilers for my fic valkyrie!)
thank you so so much for asking!! i love yapping about random ass characters and creating whole backstories for them <3 as a bonus, here are my fancasts for lucinda and daisy:
please send me more asks if your heart desires!! hope you have a good day <3
exercising both parts of my brain by writing a kat mikaelsen fic (with witchcraft and doomed lesbians) and a gilderat fic (with post war/betrayal angst and complicated gays) at the same time
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hi friends! this valkyrie chapter is kicking my ass, it is long and heavy and i have no time with school and everything rn BUT as a cookie for your patience, here is a snippet (that is happy, ish?). please enjoy! (and if you haven't already, check out valkyrie on ao3! i promise you it will be worth it. hopefully updating soon?) <3
Claraâs hand gently traces the plumage of the tawny owl, grinning a little as the feathers tickle the inside of her palm. Thereâs a giddiness to her expression that Hestia hasnât seen in a long time, though like all else, itâs weighed down. The Clara she knows today is different from the little girl of her youth; thereâs a wariness to her now, a gnawing anxiety living in the hollows of her cheeks these days. Of course, she knew Jude Vance, if only just because of Casey and Emmeline. He represents something nobody wants to think about: the children are vulnerable too, even when they are supposedly safe.
Hestiaâs glad sheâs an adult now, if only barely. Trying to imagine wrapping her head around this war at sixteen, seventeen⌠itâs inconceivable. It hurts her heart so terribly, every moment of every day, knowing people are fucking dying all the time. If that was how she saw the world when she was a kid, she wouldnât be able to recover.
And Clara is so tender, so gentle and full of life, but sheâs stronger than Hestia, more resilient. When they were kids, and Clara tripped and fell on the pavement, sheâd get back up, her scraped knee bleeding but steel in her spine, like she knew the world would keep trying to push her down and she wouldnât let it. She has never let it. She inherited Dad's gentleness and empathy, but also his unwillingness to yield. "My stubborn little firefly," Mum calls her. In Clara, perhaps, Richard Jones lives on.
Hestiaâs heart is a plum, easily crushed in the palm of a hand. Her grieving anger is all bark, no bite. Even if it came down to it, she wouldnât claw and fight to survive, she just canât. sheâs a coward. Dad was no coward. His bravery was just quiet sometimes, but always there. He was a good man.
Hestia wants to live up to him, but every time she falls short.
âHow do we look together?â Clara poses, the owl perched lightly on the crook of her arm, sticking out her tongue between her teeth. Hestia draws her attention back to the present moment. Thereâs a keenness in both Clara and the owlâs eyes, a matching spirit linking them together.
âPerfect.â Hestia responds, reaching out her hand to the owl, who stares at it blankly then turns its head away. There's a sting in her chest. âYikes. Not a fan of me, I guess.â
âSheâs just shy.â Clara seems utterly enamoured with the bird, unable to draw her eyes away from it. âGookookoâoo,â she breathes, and the owl extends her wings to give a flap.
Oh, Dad would be so proud of her if he were here now.
fr though i am genuinely so proud of dan and phil for finally trusting us with this, and iâm equally proud of the fandom for taking the steps needed to become a safe space for them over the years. as someone whoâs been here for 11 years, it feels so good knowing weâve all worked together to create space where they feel safe enough to share such a vulnerable part of their lives with us after spending so long feeling like they couldnât. the amount of love i have for the two of them and the world theyâve created for all of us is immeasurable.