You'd been besties for as long as you'd had friends, really. You'd taken each other to prom, you'd roomed together in college, you'd found jobs close enough to each other that you could hang out most weekends. She was the first person you'd come out to as non binary, and helped you through your first real, hard breakup. So a few months ago when she approached you, shaking, about a secret she'd been keeping from you, it was hard to explain how much you just wanted her to share.

Sure, she'd been a little childish growing up. You definitely got the little sister vibe from her, but you matched it with big sibling energy. No big deal. When she explained that all through college she'd been hiding wearing diapers from you, she was shocked you were more upset she'd kept it from you than she liked wearing diapers. She was even more shocked when you encouraged her to be comfortable around you - if she wanted to wear, she was welcome to. From then on, you could tell she'd been testing the waters. You were a little more reserved than her, so although you could tell when she waddled a little bit more, or when you'd been to the bathroom a few times and she hadn't been a single time, you were letting her explore at her own pace. You weren't here to pressure her to explain anything.

Now, sitting in the car for the 7 hours it took to get to the weekend long music festival you were both so excited to go to, your curiosity was getting the better of you.

"So..." You had a mouth full of Pringles you were trying desperately to chew. "The diaper thing... You mind if I ask you some questions about it?"

"We've got a fucking long drive, and I'm so board. You can ask me whatever you want as long as we don't have to listen to another Lizzy McAlpine song."

"Okay, first off, rude." She was always so good at cutting through tension. "But, okay, so like... How long have you, like, known, I guess? How long have you been, like, 'I wanna wear diapers and pee in them'? I think that's what I wanna ask first."

She took a swig of Red Bull. "Oh, fucking forever, I guess. Some people say they're hardwired diaper people. That's me. I think to some degree I've been wanting back in diapers ever since I got out of them."

"Yeah, but, when did you know know?"

"Uhh. I guess it had always been in the back of my mind? I remember being a kid and stealing diapers from the nursery a few times. I remember being weird about the diaper isle at the grocery store. I remember when I started going through puberty, being like, "I think when I grow up, I'm gonna wear diapers.' And then when we moved in together, I just kinda... started sneaking them."

"I'm still shocked I never noticed, honestly. Was I ever close to catching you?"

"Loads of times, oh my god. It freaked me out so much! You came in one morning to complain about the dishes, and I had just finished tying off a bag of wet diapers. I had to shove them under my bed so fast, I forgot I was still wearing a pull up when the door opened. If I wasn't wearing a long shirt, you'd have for sure seen it before I jumped under my covers on my bed."

"Fuck, was that what that was?? I remember you being a total space cadet that morning. I figured you were a little hungover, honestly, and I was kind of mad at you for not paying attention... Sorry."

"No need to apologize, oh my god! It was my bad, really. I should have been more careful."

"Still... sucks." The moment lingered. "Okay, next question. How often do you pee your pants?"

"Never. That is what the diapers are for." She patted her crotch, and a dull thud filled the car. "But, seriously. Uh, it depends on the week."

"Depends? Is that what you wear?"

"Very funny. No. I probably wear-"

"Wait, what kind of diapers do you wear?? I'm realizing now I've actually never seen one."

"I mean, I can show you mine, but they're just, like, big pink diapers, I guess."

"Pink?? Could you... could you seriously show me?"

She reached down and pulled the front of her sweat pants down, revealing a dull pink brief. You didn't know what you were expecting, but seeing your bestie's diaper in the flesh, sort of, was... you thought anticlimactic was the right word. Was it supposed to be weird? Was it supposed to be a revelatory experience? It felt a little strange, but nothing like what you imagined.

She pulled her pants back up, letting the waistband of the diaper poke out a bit.

"Huh. It is pink. And, like, thicker than I thought it would be."

"It's the booster."

"Booster??"

"Oh my god. I'll explain that in a minute, I'm sure. But, yeah, I wear twice a week these days on a bad week, and... like, every night on a good week."

"Every night?? So you sleep in them?"

"Actually, most nights, yeah. I kinda like it, honestly. Not having to get up in the middle of the night has been awesome for my sleep schedule. And then, like, when I work from home, I wear a lot, too. I guess I wear between 90 per cent and 50 per cent of the time, if I can afford it and I have the time to do the whole thing."

"So... would you want to wear all the time?"

"Oh god... you want me to be honest?"

"I mean, I think I know the answer."

"Yeah, probably. Especially if I had a partner that could help me. I think a lot of people are in that boat, though. At least a lot of diaper people. It's kind of hard to handle the logistics as one person. If someone else was there to help me. To change me and check me and pick up some of the slack? I could really see myself going sans-panty for long periods of time, I think."

"Fuck. Have you... have you found anyone like that?"

She slunk back in her seat. "Fuck. No. The dating scene for diaper people is terrible. I mean, it's not like there aren't cool people out there, but it's just... limited. Finding the right person, in our area, who wants the same things out of a relationship that I do that don't have anything to do with diapers, who I get along with naturally, and who aligns with my shit? It's been hard. And like, I actually talked to my stupid fucking ex back in high school about some of this stuff, but he made such a big stupid deal out of it. He really soured me on vanilla dating, honestly."

"Do you think you, like, need this kind of stuff?"

She looked out of the window. "I don't know. Probably, I guess. It's been really, really fun being able to do stuff like this-" She gestured at her diaper. "I don't know if I could go through the process of, like, turning a vanilla guy into someone who's cool with this. I kinda think I got lucky with you, or whatever. You were so cool with it. I don't think I'll get it again."

"Fuck. That sucks."

"And I can't even be a fuckin crybaby about it, because, like..." That made you both laugh.

"Okay, I don't wanna bum you out or anything, so change of subject. Or, I guess change back to subject. What the hell is a booster?"

"You really wanna know?"

"I don't know, do I?"

"It's not that big a deal, honestly. It's, like, a pad, really. Except it's flow-through. It adds extra capacity to a diaper. This is a looooong road trip, and I don't wanna change in the back seat, or like a truck stop or anything, so I put a booster pad in this diaper to hopefully make it to the hotel room. I think it'll work. I checked back at that gas station, and it hadn't made it up to the back part of the diaper yet, so I think we'll be cool with just three more hours to go."

"Okay, so like, I assume that's not just like, a large baby's diaper, right?"

"Oh... you sweet summer child. There are so. friggin. many. adult diaper brands out there right now. No, they're special made for adults, and they hold, like, 4 gallons of fluid or something."

"Oh my god? That much?"

"Some hold more. Ideally, that is. In practice, they hold a lot less. Hence the booster and pee pad. If I leaked on the seats of this rental, I think I'd freak."

"Okay, so... okay so like... can I ask you an invasive question, then?"

"We've been talking about me peeing my diaper for the last 30 minutes. I don't think anything is off the table."

You took a deep breath. "Have you ever worn the ones that look like giant baby diapers?"

"Oo ya." She said it without blinking. "I mean, the market is kind of saturated with that stuff. So, like, I'm not a huge... they call them "AB"s, that is, Adult Babies. I'm not a huge AB myself, honestly, but... I mean, I'm already wearing a diaper. Might as well be a cute one."

"Seriously??"

"They're awesome, too. Like, the looks is obviously a big part of it, but they just kinda work. Plus, who doesn't want to wear cute undies??"

"I can see it now, you with a bottle, a pamper on, and a bib."

"For now at least, no bib. But I do have a paci collection. I'll let you see it next time you're over if you want."

"... Honestly, I might have to do that."

You both giggled again. It devolved into a silence. The kind of silence that's only comfortable between two people who are more comfortable together than they are alone.

"Okay, one last one, and I'll leave you alone."

"As long as you don't leave me with Lizzy, I'll answer whatever question you got."

"Funny. Have you, like, ever done it with someone else?"

"You fuckin' know I'm not a virgin..."

"Not like that, smart ass. Like, have you ever... am I the only one that, like knows?"

"In my regular life? I guess. I mean, besides my ex, yeah. I've tried to meet people who are into it, but like I said, it's been rough. I've not met any dudes who I thought I was compatible with, and all the girls either ghost me or seem uninterested after a little while."

"Any fellow enbys?"

"You know, they're split evenly into both those previous camps. Go figure. But, nah. I'm looking for the right pervert, but so far, no dice. It is what it is."

Another comfortable silence, the sound of the desert road under the rental car.

"Okay... last last question, since nothing is off the table..."

"I do not poop in them."

"Not... what I was gonna ask... why not, though???"

"Have you ever been in a porta potty and thought, ‘boy, I wish my bedroom smelled like this’?”

“I… have not, no.”

“Me neither.”

“Okay. Seriously, though. Do you… do you use them to get off?”

She laughed. Luckily, she laughed. “My, my, how forward! A lady doesn’t kiss and tell…”

“Oh, so NOW we’re being modest??” You reached over and slapped the front of her diaper, and heard the now familiar thunk of a wet diaper.

“Fuck no. Modesty is out of the window. I do, yeah.”

“Seriously??”

“Oh yeah. A magic wand on the front of these babies does wonders.”

“Huh… and it feels… good?”

“Devine. I heard it said like this one day, ‘people don’t often complain about something warm, wet, and squishy around their genitals’. Ya know? I mean, I don’t only use them to cum. But… I definitely cum in em, yeah. In the same way that I’m sure a ton of folks jerk off with their panties on, or when they’re on the toilet or in the shower, right? I mean, if I need to nut, and I’m in a diaper… I’m just gonna nut in my diaper, ya feel me?”

It was honestly crazy how much sense that made the way she explained it. Like, of course she’d just cum in them. Of course. Not that you’d expect any less from her. She’d always been a pragmatist like that.

“You know, I’d feel bad proselytizing without offering you the chance to convert. You wanna forsake your panties at the next rest stop and join the diaper cult with me?”

After an hour of diaper talk, you’d be wrong if she didn’t make you curious. I mean, if her career didn’t work out, a life in the CIA would be fitting.

“You know, as attractive as you made pissing in your pants sound, I think I’m good right now…”