Maggie

you're going to do incredible things

okay I admit I've been pretty unfair about those, because it IS difficult to encapsulate...(gestures to the huge emotional mess that is NRC) in just a couple of sentences each. and in particular because some of them ARE meant to be surprising; like, for example, Epel being such an angry little scrungle despite looking Like That. so I will eat crow here! (sorry headmaster) (though to be fair I will say that my issue is less the descriptions themselves being terrible, and more that they make all the characters sound like terrible people...which, to be even fairer, they kinda are. just, uh, more entertainingly so.) but yeah, I must fully admit to my hubris, because the only way I can think of to be more accurate is just to add the same exact label to everyone:

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok